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Steelrocker86
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read my profile
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Name: Jon
Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Metro: Pittsburgh
Birthday: 11/26/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: Jesus is my Homeboy, and God is my DJ. Music, Football, Baseball, Guitar, Amateur radio hosting, Photography, Poetry, Pittsburgh Life
Expertise: I'm a bootyologist. Haha. No, Really... My expertisse is being me. God didn't create me to be like anyone else, so why should I try to be someone else?
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  LyristofEnigma86
Yahoo:  raidonkid05
Member Since:
2/26/2005
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| || [ 2006 :: 012 ] || I am at peace when I listen to Nirvana...
What's up everyone? Yeah, I'm still alive, and for some reason, I'm
actually quite content, though I am still really excited for Super Bowl
XL, but then again, who isn't? Seems like Detroit Rock City is starting
to look like Pittsburgh because I've seen more Terrible Towels up there
than those booger-green seahawk snotrags, and that's a good sign.
Here's to hoping they'll be crying in their snotrags.
By the way, who's number ..12 for the seahawks?
Anyway, lemme sum up my week of missed posts.
There
hasn't been much changing in the relationship department, I'm laying
low on that now, but I did get this one girl's number at a party...
I'll call her tomorrow. I thought I'd hit it off with this one girl,
but she's been leading me on, she's with this one dude and they
apparantly have been dating some dude for three years. Three years?
Fuck, what does it take to get a relationship to last that long.
God, Everyone's taken nowadays.
Valentine's
day's coming in a couple weeks and I'm gonna be the only dude on campus
who wants to get a valentine's card and wipe my ass with it. Unlike
most of yinz out there, I've never had a good valentine's day. Never. I
was always the kid who got an empty bag after a valentine's day party
in elementary school. I keep hoping the next V-day would be different,
but it never was. You know, I'd like to have fun on valentine's day
too. I'm sick of having to spectate other people on this "holiday" and
end up having to end up depressed because everyone just had to be out
with whoever, my friends as well, and I'll have to be the third, fifth,
fuck even seventh wheel. I'm always getting these same cliche's when I
try to hook up...
"You're a nice guy."
"If I didn't have a boyfriend, I'd date you."
"You'd make a nice boyfriend for some lucky lady"
and my favorite... "You'll find someone one day."
Call
me crazy, but I deserve better. I try to be nice, gentlemanly,
respectful, but I just realize... I'll just get boned because of these
attributes. I don't know how to be an asshole. If I try to act mean,
that's what it is...an act. I'm not an asshole.
And if you think I'm whining again, forget you. If you don't like the post you can hit the back button.
I just want someone to buy flowers and candy for on the 14th, even if I'm allergic to roses. | | |
| || [ 2006 // 010 ] || Breaking my silence...Note: This is an angry post. I mean very angry. If you don't want to
hear what I have to say, wait til the next time I post something
happier than this.
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?
I've
seemed to hit rock bottom 2 years ago. I've stayed at rock bottom,
staying stagnant even throughout my graduation and my first semester of
college. I'll be frank. I hated my life for the last three years. Now,
I'm losing sleep AGAIN because I've been dissed again, and I feel that
God's really trying to let all of these bad things happen to me and
isn't doing anything to intervene and help me.
I'm really losing sleep because there's three huge things on my mind.
About
three weeks into college, I met a girl (I'm not gonna say names because
I'm protecting myself). We were cool, fooled around a bit, and
ultimately ended up as friends. Two weeks before that, I met this other
kid through an activity. We were cool, I didn't talk to him as much as
I did with her. Now they're dating. It's been about a week now, and now
I think that I really should have told her how I felt about her before
this happened.
I was IN LOVE with her.
And
around this time, I didn't want to be with anyone but her, but I just
couldn't say my true feelings for one reason or another. So I told my
friend about it and she asked me if I was sure. I knew I was sure. I
just couldn't tell HER I was sure.
It seems that everyone is in
a relationship now. She has him, he has her, what have you, what have
you. Everyone at the same fucking time. EVERYONE. I'M SICK OF IT. STOP
TALKING ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE I JUST DON'T FUCKING CARE!!!!
OH, ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND ARE GOING OUT TONIGHT TO SEE A FUCKING MOVIE
TONIGHT. TOO BAD MY GIRLFRIEND DOES NOT EXIST BECAUSE I DON'T FUCKING
HAVE ONE. JESUS CHRIST!! BEFORE YOU TELL ME I HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE, YOU
HAVE TO UNDERSTAND MY FUCKING FRUSTRATION WITH THIS SITUATION AT THIS
TIME. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. I'M AT THE POINT WHERE I NEED FUCKING
THERAPY TO KEEP FROM JUMPING OFF THE FUCKING CHARLEROI BRIDGE. IF I'M
SUCH A "NICE GUY", WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME A FUCKING CHANCE?!?!?
OH MY CHRIST, I'M JUST SICK OF IT. I'M SICK OF LOSING SLEEP OVER THIS.
OH,
and here's one more thing. It seems that when I do end up talking with
a girl, a nice, cute one who has similar interests and I have a chance
with, Two things happen, they let a boyfriend slip into the
conversation that I have never seen or heard of before, or I get
rejected. I don't know what it is, I'm not a mean person! I just don't
get it. Do people just live to see me suffer? What did I do? I need
some fucking answers, and I mean quick.
I'm sick. I'm tired. I've been heartbroken way too many times. I'm just angry.
My appointment with the therapist can't come soon enough. | | |
| || [ 2006 // meme 03 ] || A-Z..it must be me.A- AGE: 19
B - BAND LISTENING TO MOST RECENTLY: Linkin Park, Avenged Sevenfold, KISS
C- Crush: Who doesn't have a crush?
D - DAD'S NAME: Doucheous Baggus
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Andrea
F- Favorite Band: You're making me choose? What kind of Nazi Are you!?!?
G - GUMMY BEARS OR WORMS: Worms
H - HOMETOWN: Pittsburgh!
I - INSTRUMENT: Guitar
J - JUICE: Orange:
K - KIDS: Yeah I want kids, but no, not now.
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: From ATL to PIT
M - MOM'S NAME: Pat
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: Nine
O - ONE WISH: Never to be single and lonely ever again.
P - PHOBIA(S): Dying alone
Q - (FAVORITE) QUOTE: Don't just live, ThriV8e!
R - REASON TO SMILE: Um...Yeah...smile...I don't know the meaning of such words
S - SEXUAL POSITION: Call me later as soon as I actually HAVE sex.
T - TIME YOU WAKE UP: around 8:30
U - UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME: I steal stupid shit from cafeterias.
V - VEGETABLE YOU HATE: I hate green peppers.
W - WORST HABIT(S): procrastination
X- XRAYS YOU HAD: Kidneys, foot
Y- YOUR FOOD: OOH! I LOVE THIS GAME! UM... UH... THINGS THAT YUOU EAT.
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Sagittarious. Though It should be a black hole. | | |
| || [ 2006 // 008 ] || OHNOES! It's...
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| || [ 2006 // 008 ] || I must have ran into an angel an hour before my class... Last night I couldn't sleep worth shit. I didn't fall asleep at all so
I watched some stupid ass NFL Films thing. It was bad. But they had to
prove who was the best dynasty of all time, or pretty much who was the
best team...ever. The San Francisco 49ers of the 80s, with Jerry Rice,
Joe Montana and Steve Young fell to the Pittsburgh Steelers of the 70s
by a Touchdown. A remake of the Immaculate Reception. I love NFL films,
no matter how bad they are.
When I left my dorm, I went to the
Gold Rush to grab some breakfast. I didn't really eat much, just some
cereal and a bagel and some lemonade. Better than nothing. I was
chillin with my friend Lisa's friend Drew, we sat there and talked
about how his dad had an ulcer as soon as Jerome Bettis fumbled that
ball. I left thinking that I should have seen either Lisa, Andrea,
Holly or even Rachelle by now. Instead, I tried to walk to the commuter
center and I bump into this beautiful asian chick. She was from taiwan,
but she lived in Panama, and speaks english beautifully though her
language is spanish. The one thing that caught me was her beautiful
deep red hair. We sat and talked for a couple hours. I hope to see her
again today, and I hope she doesn't have a boyfriend
But things are looking good for now.
Gotta go...classes tomorrow. OH YEAH...WHY THE HELL DID THE BUCCOS SIGN KIP WELLS?!?!!? | | |
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Talk to me...
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