| Untitled, or New Dawn FadesDearest Readers, In a little more than an hour, I shall be watching The Dark Knight. It will likely be the highlight of the summer for me, which isn't too surprising. You see, the more I think about it, the more I have come to realize that I simply cannot stomach research. Oh, sure, I'm good for a semester or two, but beyond that? I grow tired of it. I think it is the lack of structure. I need order. Unfortunately, they want us to work independently, which is fine if you have been properly prepared for the subject. I rarely am. Six research projects in two years, and I would say maybe two of them I understood to a fair degree. They've all been in different areas, too, so it is not like I'm burnt out on, say, astrophysics. In addition to that, I've now lived in Arizona for nearly a year, and I've done nothing. I've been to Phoenix once. I've missed out on plenty of concerts that have come my way. I've seen one film besides the one I am watching at midnight. I'm here, in a major metropolitan area, like I always say I've wanted...and I'm bored. Nevermind the fact that I only hang out with a handful of people, and those people are just as caught up in grad school as I am. As such, I end up spending much of my time alone in my apartment. I don't play that much video games to keep me entertained; I don't even have cable. I also miss my family. I have no relations out here. Beyond that, it's hard coming to grips with the fact that my eleven year old brother may graduate high school by the time I finish a doctorate. This has led me to an epiphany: I really don't want to be in grad school if it is going to be like this. I can barely tolerate how the research is going this summer; I imagine it will be much worse once my classwork is done and all I have to do for years on end is research. Even if I survive that, it will likely be on to a career in research once I graduate. I do like teaching, though. I've always enjoyed teaching the labs at ATU, and I definitely enjoy teaching recitation at ASU, and I know that I can make some improvements in the teaching methods I have seen my professors use. I don't think I would even mind teaching high school at this point. My written comprehensive exam is due in two weeks. It's based on a paper I've already written, and so once I get some motivation, I just need to edit and expand it, which should be simple, even if the calculations have been a bitch. Three weeks or so after that, I have my oral comprehensive exam. Besides being a presentation of that written exam, I know that they could pull questions from our core courses, and that is it. No other idea whatsoever on how that will go. As such, my plan is as follows: if I pass the comps, I am going to try to get into the physics education emphasis, or I might just take my master's-in-passing if it will be quick and painless. If I fail the comps, I'm just going to be aiming for my master's, even if they are trying to phase it out. I know a thesis will be involved that way, but I think it would be comparable to what I should already have done for the comps. I'll already have 23 credit hours done by the end of this summer; I only need 30 to get a master's, and my research rotations may count toward my research hours. So, I'll be writing on this paper the next couple of weeks, presenting it a few weeks after that, and then we shall see how things turn out. Keep me in your heart for a while,
Stevo P.S. Update! So, I did end up talking to my former colleage about his PhD program in physics education. Basically, it is nothing like I had hoped. Still have research to do, except it is more sociology and conducting experiments about learning styles. Ugh. So...it looks more and more likely that I will aim for my master's and see where I go from there. Also, I saw The Dark Knight. It was scrumtrilescent. Best comic book movie ever filmed (I don't count the ones I put together in my head). My favorite movie I've seen since LOTR:ROTK. Seriously. Go watch it now. I'm gonna try to see the IMAX version sometime soon. In the mean time, I have a paper to write. Joy. |
