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| Fuck else is new, every time shit starts lining up, just as quickly, it falls apart. Got into Wingate by the grace of god, but cant pay for it and cant go now. Fucking typical. This is after I quit my job after 4 years with the company, and taking a serious paycut so my job could be on my way to school. I've come to the conclusion that I was fucked from the moment of conception, so my next course of action is try to get in to goddamn army, strap up and head straight for the fucking front lines. That'll probably blow up in my face too, no fucking pun intended. | | |
| I hate everything right now. I got rejected from UNC, fined, I expected that. I didnt expect the rejection letter to say I needed to redo an entire year at a fuckin community college to get in. I dont think I'll be able to pass my technician certification exam, I dont understand the shit to save my life, tried to study, that didnt help. My life has no meaning, I wake up, go to work, come home, watch tv for a bit, call Charlie, dont talk about anything for an hour then go to sleep. Rinse and fuckin repeat. I have a horse I want nothing to do with, she's pretty and all, but I cant handle her and dont have the time I did with Savvy to work with her, or the desire. I have no friends, what else is new, but I cant even get my sister to go to the bar with me. And where was Charlie last night when I was lying in my bed crying cause I failed the practice exam again? At his friends house. I called him to lament about my latest failure, and while I was admittedly bitching and moaning, I hear him tell him friend about "that chesnut mare down at the house". Totally wasnt listening. So I let him go and cry, alone, some more before I go to sleep. I hate everything. | | |
| Charlie bought me a pony! She's a solid jet black Tennesse Walker. That breed rides really smooth, so I named her "de Ville" like the Cadillac  | | |
| I'm in deep. It sounds so fucking cheesy, but I love him. For the past two weeks, whenever we talked on the phone, I felt that he was trying to hint at something. Especially when he asked me what I meant when I told him a month ago that he was making it hard for me not to fall for him. But then when I would question things he said, he wouldnt say it, so I thought I was just wishful thinking. So the last time I went down, we were in the woods and he kept asking what was worng. I really wanted to tell him how I felt, but I didnt wanna ruin anything. He kept asking, and I told him he wouldnt believe me and refused to say anything. So while we were goin at it, I stop and say "Charlie, I love you" so he stops and says "I love you too, and I mean it". So yay! I still dont like actually sayin it, so when we're on the phone, I'll be like "Charlie.." "yea baby?" "you know.." "yea I know..me too" In other news, he got me a very tiny kitten, shes black with a little white on her throat and tummy. I named her Fiddle. And Charlie finally rode a bull for 8 seconds, getting 71 points for his ride, ending up in 3rd place cause someone got a 72, brought home $167, yay :) | | |
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