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| Sigo viva...So it has been a long time since my last update...sorry! I have been so busy with work, school, etc! Also I just felt like I had too much to say that I didn't know what to say and what not to say! for now I am just going to stick to the basics...
1. Got into Baylor for Grad School
2. Got full funding for Grad School plus they are going to pay me $750 and I will be a TA!
3. Moving out of my house and into an apt with Kt! Yeah! :) SO exciting! (Future roomies)
4. Graduating May 13th
5. Got to Houston July 4th weekend for a reunion with all my girls from 1st semester in México..it is going to be CRUNK!!! (this is Blackness & Lil Nig.. I am SO SO SO excited to see them)
It is so amazing how things worked out! I was so set on leaving Waco but for reasons out of my control every door but Baylor closed! When I found out the news about Baylor it was bittersweet! I was happy because I finally had an answer to that nagging question about my future but at the same time I was sad that I wasn't going to leave Waco. Apparently the man upstairs wants me here for some reason so I am just having faith and hanging on for the ride. So it looks like I will be hanging around Waco for 2 more years, so all you Wacoans give me a call!!
On a more personal front, things haven't changes a lot. I have just kind of learned how to deal with what I feel and then at random times pain seems to rear its ugly head! I am really good at keeping myself busy so that I don't have to deal with what is really going on inside and everyone else is just as busy so they don't think to ask... don't ask, don't tell! I miss Mexico more than I have ever missed any one thing in my life. I think just because I know that it is right there and I just can't get to it. With people that have passed away there is a finality and you eventually have to accept that they are not coming back. With this, it is right there, I can see it, I can feel it, I just can't touch it. I know I must be crazy but Mexico is the love of my life! I am a different person when I am there.. relaxed, carefree, happy. Life is different, the people are different, their values are different. I will go back someday, hopefully soon! I am about to go stir crazy here in Waco! I have been working 6 days a week (30+ hours), going to school, applying to grad school, working out, and making an attempt at a social life. I am ready for some time off! I took off the whole week of graduation so that should be nice!! My family will be here which is always interesting!
Ok so enough procrastinating, I am tired and need to sleep! I hope everyone is doing well!!
Besos 
Para ti...
Aún tengo en la mesa todos tus gestos de tu rompecabezas
aun tengo en mi boca todos tus besos aunque no los merezcas
no se donde tu te escondes pero hoy no me explico
por que estoy perdido en el pasado todo lo que pudo ser, estoy buscando sin sentido el recuerdo de tu piel
estoy cansado de amarte tanto y de estas ganas de volver junto a tí
Cruzo la calle te encuentro de frente, eres diferente
tus ojos vacios aunque es evidente quiero desaparecer
no sé donde tú te escondes pero hoy no me explico por que
estoy perdido en el pasado , todo lo que pudo ser
estoy buscando sin sentido, el recuerdo de tu piel
estoy ya cansado de amarte tanto y de estas ganas de volver
Aunque estoy con él, no más pienso en ti. Tengo ganas de volverte a ver, de sentirte, de tocarte, de mirarte a los ojos y de besarte lentamente. Mi mente está en el presente pero mi corazón está perdido en el pasado, contigo. Ojalá que te des cuenta y que regres a mi. Mi deseo es estar a tu lado como antes. Te amo mi rey.. ya sabes.
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| The window to my soul...
Looking straight into the eyes of someone else, for me, is a very intense and emotional experience. My eyes are probably my most expressive body part. I have been told more than once I talk with my eyes and I believe it. All my emotions, anger, frustration, pain, sorrow, joy, fear and especially love can be seen in my eyes. My eyes do not lie. No matter the words coming out of my mouth or the show that I am putting on, one look into my eyes and you will know the truth. I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. This weekend I realized that I do not look people in the eyes like I used to. I can´t heandle the emontional intensity attached with a long stare. I think it is because I am afraid to let them in, I am afraid to let them see what is really there. Since I have been back in Waco I have been doing a good job of keeping everything inside and dealing with things on my own. I am no longer willing to admit my weaknesses. I don’t want them to see the hurt, the pain, the joy, the questions, the tears. So I have pushed everything down and having been dealing with it on my own as it comes up. I afraid that if someone takes the time to truly look into my eyes they will see everything I have worked so hard to hide. So if I don’t look you in the eyes it is not because I don’t care or because I am not paying attention, it is because I am not ready. I am not ready to open up and be vulnerable. I am not ready to see what it is you really feel. When I am ready, I promise to open the window and let you in.... | | |
| I got this yesterday.. it is the best email ever!!!
From: Degree Plan Office, College of Arts & Sciences, Baylor University,
108 Burleson, 254-710-2200
To: Tara Murray
Subject: Diploma Name
We are in the process of ordering diplomas for students who are candidates for May 2006 graduation. We have requested your name be printed on the diploma as:
Tara Nicole Murray
If this is correct, please do NOT respond to this email. If the name is incorrect, please send us an email back with the corrected name for your diploma.
Additional information regarding commencement is available on the internet via the following links – Baylor Home Page>Current Students>Commencement.
Best wishes as you work to finish your degree this spring.
YEAH!!!
Real updates are coming soon! I promise! 
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| Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
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| So it has been while! Sorry I stink at this...
A farwell to the GRE...
I have been done with the semester for a little of two weeks now but I had the GRE looming over me. I thought: "I will have nothing to do and I will have 2 weeks to study!" Yeah right!!! So I started studying, seriously, on Monday. It is really hard to learn all of the 3.5 years of English vocabulary that I should have leaned while studying SPANISH, in only 4 days but I managed!
Got to the test this morning and it took forever to do the whole sign in process. Then of your course they make you swear on anything that is important to you, even your dead cousin's (thrice removed) grave that you aren't going to cheat and that you understand every last comma and period of the ever so long instructions. Then the computers in the test room for the GRE weren't working. We couldn't get past the tutorial screen (which might I add was very insightful, it teaches you how to use the mouse, the cursor, and the arrow keys), when an error message showed up. Unless the fixed the problem we would not be taking the test. But finally at 10:47, exactly 1 hour and 47 minutes after the time I was supposed to take my test I finally got to start it. After my 15 miunte session of COMP 101 on how to use a program that is more primative than DOS, I started the test. The essays went well. I enjoyed ripping a new one to the peanut farmers. Then came Math. Didn't realize the time passing so I still had 3 questions left when I was ever so nicely informed that my time had run out. Then came Verbal. I think Verbal is their way of playing with our minds and our emotions. They put words on there that I will never need in my lifetime. A good vocabulary is not everything, being able to express your ideas clearly and effectively with the vocabulary that you have is what is really important. But the GRE doesn't care about that. So I made it through the Verbal with 7 minutes left and then I was ready to see my score. However, I was so unfortunately lucky that I got the chance to be there guinea pig and do a section of test math questions but they gave me a calculator and the chance for money, so I said what the heck. Finsihed those whith time to sapre (of course), then finally after approximately 3 hours and 15 minutes of testing the GRE sealed my fate:
Math: 710 (and that is with not finishing)
Verbal: 590 (Test me in Spanish and see how I do, it was an unfair fight)
Total score: 1300
I was hoping for 1400, but I will settle. Of course I am no Sethly Boutin, but then again who is?Well, besides Sethly of course. However Seth did point out that the average GRE score in the classics department is 1200. So take that Baylor Classics Department (minus Sehtly of course). The national average for people studying liberal arts is somewhere around 1050. So take that national average!
So that's my tall tale for the day. I have once again been labeled with a number, but this one is not so bad!
I'll be home on Tuesday morning...for good!
Peace, love, and hegemony (the only GRE word that I had ACTUALLY already learned in the last 3.5 years in college)
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