She'll Be Right Here In My Arms, So In Love

Currently Listening Give Up By The Postal Service Nothing Better see related

I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.

Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!

I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.

I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-child that sends me hate mail.

But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin in, there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin tough, over and out!"

Currently Watching George Carlin - Life Is Worth Losing By George Carlin see related

Calling You Is A Bad Idea, No Matter What The Circumstances

It's nights like these that make me sleep all day
It's nights like these that make you feel so far away
It's nights like these when nothing is for sure
It's nights like these I don't want you anymore

And I've only got this one wish
That I was good enough to make you forget
The only boy who ever broke your heart
Cause nights like these tear me apart

It's nights like these the sad songs don't help
It's nights like these your heart's with someone else
It's nights like these I feel like giving up
It's nights like these I don't seem to count for much

The beer tastes like blood and my mouth is numb
I can't make the words I need to say
She had a weakness for writers
And I was never that good at the words anyways

Bloody knuckles and a broken nose
oh, that's why I never left home
I’ve fought in bars
and I’ve fought in the streets
four more years of fighting'
'til they're done with me
leave it 'til tomorrow 'til you say good bye
aint in the mood to watch no one cry
tonight its whiskey, so buy another round
drink it up boys its my last night in town
momma I aint you're only son
aint no favorites here, its just how its done
drink it up boys its my last night in town
its too late to turn back now, oh
in the morning' its the wide open road
take it far enough it'll bring you back home
she said "I watched them carry you to the back
couldn’t say good by to you like that"
I can always say, "I'm sorry i's drunk"
so many times 'til it doesn’t mean much
when I get home the first rounds on me
raise up that glass - good bye Tennessee
momma I aint you're only son
aint no favorites here, its just how its done
drink it up boys its my last night in town
its too late to turn back now, oh
I can always say, "I'm sorry i's drunk"
so many times 'til it doesn’t mean much
when I get home the first rounds on me
drink it up boys - good bye Tennessee
momma I aint you're only son
aint no favorites here, its just how its done
drink it up boys its my last night in town
its too late to turn back now, oh

And when we laugh it feels natural. And people say that I miss the relationship, not her. They couldn't be more wrong. When I see her I remember all the good times and wish them back with all my heart. But the times that i touch her, even briefly, make me smile hours latyer and my best friend says that she does this to me on purpose. That she knows that I spend hours upon hours thinking about every word and every brief touch and every single eye lock, the ones that last longer than they should, the ones that we shared for hours once upon a time. And now I am drinking like I did before, driunking whiskey, car bombs, jager shots, beer after beer after beer, trying to forget.

Fuck it

It's so god damn pointless and this longing will never leave me. And now I feel like an idiot, because it's been months and I still think of her just before I fall asleep. How did my beautiful gemini who was once mine vex me so?

I don't want to be vexed.

The sappy next line that floats to my mind is "I want to not be vexed, I want to be hers."

Pitiful

three sleepless nights
this isn't how its supposed to be
but you're so good at taking your time to get back to me
i will wait for you forever
if you would just ask me
i thought that i could change you, but you've changed me

it doesn't feel right holding someone elses hand
together on phone lines, living at two opposite ends
it scares me to think that you could find takers other than me
and better than me

but your head is elsewhere and i'm talking enough for the both of us
when will you see? it's not (it's not) so easy for me

youre careless (i fall from ) and whisper (your eyes)
(i trusted) insulting and bruising (i thought that you said forever)
and i thought that you said things were improving
these laces are untied, but my feet are still walking away. away.
(laces .. are .. untied .. but my feet .. are walking away)

i never thought that you could say these words, is this really happening?
i never thought that you could say these words, is this really happening?
(don't say ..)
i never thought that you could say these words, is this really happening?
(don't say that we ..)
i never thought that you could say these words, is this really happening?
(don't say that we can still be .. )
i never thought that you could say these words, is this really happening?
(don't say that we can still be friends.. )

erase my name, from this page.

how can you take all these days?
(what is inside me, what have i done?)

and throw them away
(is this the only way that you'll notice me?)

as i sit here waiting for you.
(dead words for closed ears all this is sung for you)

i stay up nights
(if youre still pretending this is whats right)

until stars leave the sky
(why cant you look at me can you only see)

knowing what my dreams take away
(one side your side, can take away)

walk away from me.
this night is done.

FUCK

No one reads this anymore any way. Not even her.

So why i still do this is beyond me....

~(not so) Wonderful Tonight~