i hate the fact that evan is getting a life in fl

everytime i see one of his friends on myspace talking to him it just hurts
when i see boca raton things it stings
whenever i see him making plans and having fun it cuts the worst

why??

this is what i wanted him to do
i wanted him to get out there and get a life and make friends
but then again i want him to not do anything

maybe its cus i really haven't moved on
i'm still with the same group of friends
no real new friends
the person i talk to is still evan
i still wait every night at 9pm for his call

i feel so alone
i have no homecoming date
and i act like its all right
its not
i really wanted a date this year
now its too late since homecoming is tomarrow

i want new friends!!

maybe thats why i can't wait    for emily to have a party
i want to meet new people
show evan that i am getting on with my life
all my messages on myspace are from him
all my comments are from him
i have no life except him


i feel pathetic now

soo i think i figured out why i don't write here like at all..

cus i have someone to talk to.

his name is evan

i tell him alll about my day the good and the bad and he listens.

and then im too tired to tell the whole story over again soo i don't blog it.

plus i am spending more time on myspace

so tonight i blog about my night.. not like anyone cares


today was like anyother saturday

i woke up around 9ish and i watched cartoon u gotta love cartoons! then i went and ate lunch/breakfast. after that i got bored.. soo i decided to pamper my feet. soo i did the whole soak and scrub thing.. it was quite fun and minty!  while i was doing that i started a book. its called star girl. omg i love that book. i felt like i connected to it soo much

so star girl is about the girl who is like uber weird who just one day starts school at this high school. and at first everyone just like stayed away from her cus she was weird. and then she became really really popular cus of her different-ness. and then at like the peak of it all everyone turns on her and hates her over stupid reasons. all this time this guy falls inlove with her. and kinda starts dating her when everyone hates her. this means that the  guy gets shunned too because his gf is different. soo he begs stargirl to become normal and for him she does. this makes her really unhappy but she does it for the guy. finally she gives up her "normal-ness" because well everyone still hates her and then well u get to find out the ending ur self since i really gave away most of the book.

i felt like the guy begging his gf to become normal. sometimes evan does well evan things that maybe immature but that is what is evan. and so i beg him to change and behave and he does for me. and this book made me relise how much he sacrafices for me to make me happy and i should really be accepting who he is.. i did fall for his charms and his occational bad doings.

and then i feel like the girl. im different from people. not as different as she is. but different enough to be shunned sometimes from the "popular people" im excluded or talked about cus i do weird things. but thats just who i am and i can't really change that.


ok moving on. and soo after i finished my book i walked to gene's with my mother. and had some really good cookie dough ice cream it was really good. then i took a shower and got ready for tonight


yay i went to steph's party tonight at the pool. i was scared cus i didn't think i would know anyone except steph but i knew quite a few people. gabby monica leah erik emily and brian [who have been dating since like forever or 3 1/2 years] oh and abby and i think thats all i recognized from WMS it was like forever since i had seen them, but i didn't hang out with them too much instead the first person i walked up to and shook hands and said that i was janet, jessica, was the person i hung around alot. that and katie. i recognized katie from being on of leah ford's friends. i was nervous at first cus i didn't know if leah had told her that i was an evil witch or something but katie seemed really cool and really nice to me soo i hung around her too.

soo anyways yeeeaaahh we ate hot dogs and played cherades and swung on the swings and talked about evan a lot. and just had a great time

and then it was pool time!! yay!! we first played like hit the ball over the net.. it was like 7 girls against like 4 guys. and of course the guys kept hitting it outta our reach!! well they did have the shallow 3 ft water when we had the 5 ft water!!! it does make a difference!!  then rett joined the girls team and of course that helped.

haha rett kept calling me "that girl" and finally im like "I HAVE A NAME! and its Janet!" after that he called me by my name but that just ment that he went after me more during tag

of course we also played sharks and minnoes which is a very tiring game!!! and marco polo for a while before it turned into tag.

of course we would get into random splash fights and i tired to dunk erik but that twig boy has muscle!! haha and instead he threw me into the water! poo!!

and then i got into a "fight" with this guy that i think his name is shawn. we threw the beach ball back and forth in each others faces. haha that was fun


btw monica is pure evil hahahah but she listens to gabby!! hahaha and i don't trust her around swings hahaha.


well now im a really tired but everyone there was reallly cool and i had a blast! thanks!!



Janet