dearest roleplayers of hogwarts_charmed,

i am bearer of bad news, i suppose.

i, lira, has decided to depart this roleplay

it is not all your faults, i assure you greatly. i, along the assistance of my dearest friend traci (harry), have discussed our futures here on this roleplay. it is my decision: it is for my sake, never yours.

and i have decided to leave at the end of may or the beginning couple days of june.

this roleplay has done me a world of good, honestly. i couldn't be at the level i am of roleplaying at the moment if it wasn't for this roleplay, when it was still in its wee younger days as xxx.

however, i need to move onto bigger and bolder things. i have been an elite roleplayer for nearly six months, and i have learned so much, especially letting go of things you do not want to let go. this is a site i kept close to my heart for the last nearly year or so, and being a stubborn person, i have refused to let go of this site - until it has come to my attention that being elite has expectations and you must reach them.

i will not be permanently leaving this site. i am still waiting for sam and em's answers on letting me run the quidditch site. i will be only leaving susan and cormac behind.

there is one thing however.

i insist that cormac and susan will never be remade again. susan and cormac's story will end tragically, and i do not want anyone to replay them. i do visit this site back frequently, and if i see it, you will recieve harsh consequences.

i love you all dearly, but i am afraid it is my time to go.

all of cormac's entries have been moved here 

yours truly,
lira

"The baby...she's here," she whispered, leaning her head against his shoulder as he took the baby from her arms.

"Such a beauty she is," he said, kissing her on the forehead. "Tis a beauty."

She blushed as he brushed a kiss over her lips, and Zipphorah came besides them.

"Mama, what will you name her?" Zipporah asked anxiously, and they all looked up to the midwife.

"Suzanna?" he asked her anxiously, stroking her hair away from her face.

"Susan?" Cormac repeated, looking at her with concern. "What do you want to name her?"

She looked between Zipphorah and David and Cormac and their new baby girl.

A beautiful baby girl.

"Dominique," she smiled.

"Why?" David asked, taking her hand.

"Because Dominique indeed is a gift from God," Susan smiled, feeling her eyes become blurry.

"Of course," David smiled. "And a nearly-alike namesake for me?" He laughed as he saw Susan smiled drowsily at him.

"I love you," David smiled, handing her a note in her hands and kissing her on the forehead. "Come on, Zipphorah - no, leave Dominique here."

"Iloveyoutoo," Susan murmured drowsily as Zipporah squeezed her mother's hand and followed after her dad. Susan's eyes shut after that, leaving no trace of life after that.

-----

"Here, here, Nikka," Cormac teased her baby, making Dominique burst into a little bubbles of laughter.

"Oh Cormac," Susan complained, rocking the baby quietly. "You're going to give her a case of hiccups."

"My mother did that to me," Cormac declared.

"Really?" Susan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, but that was when I was still in her stomach," Cormac pronounced, and Susan hit him playfully on the arm.

"What did David say?" Cormac asked.

"He said that if we could meet him outside tonight by the tree, he can bring all of us to get Dominique here Christened."

"Really?" Cormac asked, his eyes lighting in excitement.

"Yes," Susan nodded. Then she looked at Cormac shyly, and said softly, "David and I want you to be her Godfather."

"Me?" Cormac asked, his eyes wide in disbelief. Susan nodded, and he clutched his forehead.

"But..what if we..you know...have to take...well...."

"Either way, you will always be in Nikka's life," she smiled, touching his cheek briefly. He blushed and looked away.

"I would be honored to, Mrs. Suzanna Bones."

"I would be honored as well, Mr. Cormac McLaggen."

"Susan?" Harry's voice rang, and Susan clutched Dominique close to her chest as Harry approached. His eyes were lighted up in excitement.

"How are you?" Harry asked breathlessly, and Susan simply smiled and looked down at the baby, who was cooing and outstretching her arms so Harry or Cormac could take her.

"I'm well," Susan said simply, jiggling the baby up and down. "Shh Nikka...there we go...my good girl..." she cooed as Dominique's face began to scrunch up into tears.

"Susan?" Harry asked. "Is she...yours?"

Susan looked up immediately at such an insulting comment as this. "Yes, this is Dominique, my baby," she said coldly. She saw Harry flinch at the sound of her tone, and she looked away.

"Susan, we better get going," Cormac said hurriedly, nodding his head towards the clock.

"I suppose you're right," Susan said tiredly and took the baby into her arms. "Shh...Nikka...oh goodness." Dominique began crying helplessly, clearly hungry.

"Here..." Cormac said, digging through her knapsack and handing her a bottle. Susan took it and coaxed Nikka to begin to suck at it, drawing milk inch by inch.

"I'm sorry, Harry," she said, flustered. "But we need to go."

"All right," Harry said, looking down. He looked at Cormac and said, "Could we have a word?"

"Very quickly," Cormac said, and Susan watched as Harry and Cormac walked off and began to converse.

"I can't tell you," Cormac's voice rang, and Harry looked angry at whatever that they were discussing. Cormac's, however, looked infuriated.

The clock began to ding, six dongs were heard.

"Come on," she said tiredly, walking up to the two Gryffindors and taking Cormac's arm. "I'm sorry, Harry."

And without looking back, they walked down the hallway, away from a devastated harry.

harry,
please do not follow me.
i promise i will be safe. i know how much you fret.

i'm going away to find someone.
cormac will come with me.
i'll be back home soon

susan

susan steered herself up the street, cormac trailing behind her.

"are you sure he said here?" he asked. "wherever here is..."

"i know," she smiled up at cormac, who returned a puzzled look. she saw the door with the eyeball over it, and she nodded at cormac.

"this way," she said, leading him to the wooden door. cormac cringed at the sight of the eyeball, and he followed her as she opened the door hesitantly and walked into the bare, dark home.

"david?" she called out loud. "david, are you here?"

"damn," cormac cursed, lighting a nearby candle. susan saw nothing: it was empty. no more chairs, no more dishes, no more life.

"flea, are you sure this is the right place?"

susan saw a note on the ground and bent down slowly to pick it up, her hand holding her pregnant stomach. she felt her baby kick, as if her baby could sense her worry and excitement.

susan
do not come find me.
please.
i can see you are better here
with your own people.
i'll find you somehow
our roads will meet
when we are ready.
your love
david

susan stared at it, and sat down on the ground, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"he...he just cannot get up and...dissapear like that," she whimpered, and she felt cormac place a hand on her shoulder.

"flea," he said, looking at her in the eye. "do you truly love him?"

"yes," she nodded, and cormac smiled, helping her stand up.

"i might know who you need to find," cormac beamed at her, stroking tressles of hair out of her face.

"who?"

"a certain miss sazbo," cormac smiled, pointing to the stairs that had been previously hidden in the darkness.

"but-but...he told me she was dead..."

"she's not," cormac said, beginning to lead her up the musty stairs. susan followed him, her heartbeat ringing in her ears.

and cormac pushed open a door to reveal a small woman and a young man observing the crystal ball.

"cormac, you scare me everytime," the woman smiled, turning around. the man turned around, his eyes locking onto susan's.

"i told you to never look for me," he muttered, beginning to walk up to her. he pushed cormac away, into the room, and pulled susan into the darkness of the hallway.

"why did you come looking for me?" he asked, looking at her in the eyes.

"i love you," she whispered, and she felt him roughly pulled her against his chest.

"i know," he said against her cheek. "but why? you fit in here, you have friends when i have none. you're bearing a child, perhaps a recent friends-"

"this is your baby, david," she said, looking up at him, and david stared at her.

"but..zipphorah..."

"is she here?" susan asked, and david nodded. he walked her down the dark hallway until he reached another pair of stairs, light beaming from the top.

"here," he said, helping her up the stairs and knocking on the door.

"zipphorah, open up!" he called. a young girl appeared at the door instantly, resembling susan to the bone.

"zi...zipphorah," she whispered. "oh.."

"mother?" zipphorah asked, and susan reached out for the girl, who threw herself into her mother's arms.

"mother..father said you were gone forever..." zipphorah murmured against susan's chest, and susan looked darkly at her husband for a moment before looking down.

"shh..." she hushed. "it's all right, shh...don't cry, sweet."

"mama, who's that man?" zipphorah asked, pointing, and susan turned to see cormac standing there with miss sazbo.

"i ensure you met your family, suzannah?" miss sazbo asked, and susan stared past to see her mother-in-law's figure, beaming at them.

"but..you..." she burst out, confused.

"sweet, i sent you here to test your true love for my son," miss sazbo laughed, and took susan's hand.

"but i see there are unfinished things here," miss sazbo addressed, and with a quick flick of the arm, she revealed an invisible cloak with harry standing under there.

"susan..." he stuttered, and susan stared at him.

"who is it, suzanna?" david asked, taking her by the waist defensively. susan closed her eyes, willing for the world to dissapear.

it was hard to notice that she was torn between two lives.

susan looked at the necklace and then at cormac.

"do you think this means anything?" she asked curiously. "i mean, he told me he'd find me again-"

"about ten minutes ago, you were so ecstatic that you found david...now you're doubting it?" cormac asked, handing her a glass of their favorite lemon tea.

"i just don't believe it," she said, taking the cup in her hands and blowing at the surface, forcing the smoke and the warmth to go away. she sipped it and placed it back on the table besides her.

"it was too easy," she sighed.

"any other scary dreams lately?" cormac suggested, and she shot a dark look at him. cormac returned one at her as well.

"huh?" cormac asked.

"what 'huh'?" she asked. "cormac, you never make sense-"

"are you going to go back with him?" cormac blurted out, and she looked at him coolly.

"i suppose," she sighed, looking away. "it's our second baby...but what about my first one?"

"ziphorah?" he asked, and she nodded.

"it might be the one in your stomach right now," cormac suggested, and she looked at her stomach, considering this.

"that's possible...but then how could he have gotten here?" she asked, leaning forward in her seat. "i mean, i suppose he could have fooled his bother...but ziphorah always give us away-"

"he came without her?" cormac suggested, but susan, in sudden rage, stood up and looked at him darkly.

"he couldn't do that," she said angrily. "he wouldn't."

"well, i'm sorry miss pregnant," cormac said, standing up and pushing her away from him. she tripped on the table, forcing the tea to spill onto the carpet, but they couldn't care less.

"just because you don't know what it's like to be loved doesn't mean you have every right to be angry at me," she hissed at him.

"and because you are being neglected-excuse me, being pregnant and neglected does not imply you have the right to be angry at me too," he said cooly in return.

"neglected?" she asked angrily.

"loveless?" he demanded. "i'd rather be neglected than that."

susan eyed him and picked the tea cup off the floor slowly. cormac sat back in his chair, grinning at her.

he had won.

she made a move to place the shattered cup back onto the tray, but instead, she threw them into the fireplace.

"HEY!"

"you said i was neglected," she smiled bitterly. "so i took it upon myself to direction attention to myself."

and with that, she winked at him, and walked up the stairs. she heard cormac calling for her to come back, but she knew that they both couldn't be mad at each other.

it would be not only a big blow for her-
-but too harsh for him to live through.

She could close her eyes and still remember the look on David's face and the words he spoke.

"I cannot help you with that."

She opened her eyes, hearing Cormac shake her saying "Flea! Flea! Wake up!"

"What...what is it Cormac?" she asked, blinking a few times back into reality. She saw the look of Professor Flitwick staring down at her, his eyes wide with horror.

Susan, without a second though, stood up and ran out of the classroom without a single belonging of hers in her arms.

Except her own tears.

"Flea!" Cormac shouted, and she could hear him running after her. Tears blinded her eyes as she ran down to the edges of the Forbidden Forest, and she turned whirlwindedly to see Cormac was still running after her.

"Flea...Susan," he panted when he stood before her, and he clutched her arms with his hands.

"Susan...they didn't mean to stare at you like that...you just fell asleep in class-"

"Like I do every day," she cried. "I know I'm branded as a slut, Cormac, but I don't need for you to rub that in your face!"

"You know I didn't mean that, Flea-"

"Susan?" David's voice mysteriously drifted through the trees, and Susan and Cormac turned their heads to see David smiling from a tree.

"Oh..." Susan smiled, her anger breaking off.

"Who is that, Flea?" Cormac asked, letting his hands off of her as David approached them. When David stood next to Susan, she blushed and looked at the ground.

"This is...David, Cormac," she introduced. "David, this is my best friend Cormac."

"It's nice to meet you, mate," David nodded, oustretching his hand. Cormac took it and they shook it politely more like in a death grip against each other.

"Susan...I might have something that may link to your past," David smiled, and Susan nodded.

"Cormac...I need to go...make up some rubbish..." she said. "Please, lie for me."

Cormac looked at her. He couldn't lie unless Susan told him to. He was willing to do that for her.

Cormac nodded, and watched as Susan and David were whisked off into the forest.

----later---

"Susan!" David cried as Susan nearly fell over a pile of books. David took her shoulders and held her up as her legs dangled in the air, and David sat her down.

"Susan...do you recall this?" David asked, sitting down besides her. She looked at what was in his hand; a simple wedding ring.

A wedding ring that was branded in her mind forever until she knew it was on her finger once more, telling the whole truth.

"Yes...it was my wedding ring," she whispered. "David....he gave that to me!"

David nodded and handed it to her. "It matches the silverwork with your necklace."

Susan looked down to still see the locket that hung around her neck. David reached over and opened it.

dearly beloved
when we are to part
we'll meet again
and love again

Susan blushed, pulling away from David, who stared at it.

"Keep this," David whispered, dropping the ring into her own hands. "I..I found it in the basement."

Susan looked at him blankly, confused by how shocked his eyes were, and she placed the ring on her finger. A tremor went up her spine, and she looked down to feel her baby tumbling inside her stomach.

"I...David...the baby moved," she whispered. "Is that bad?"

David looked at her and said in a harsh tone, "How am I supposed to know?"

Susan took a sharp intake of breath, stunned by his sudden fury.

"Suzanna...I never meant to say that to you," he whispered, touching her cheek. "Suzanna...forgive me?"

Susan looked at him, and she whispered, "You are him."

David looked at her, brushed a kiss against her forehead, and whispered, "Like I told you....we'll meet again."

And with that, David vanished in a cloud of smoke, leaving Susan coughing.

And realising how lucky she was.