the more i grow up the more i realize how cold ppl can be.. it can be hard to be nice to people sometimes.. but its also realli hard for me not to be nice.. atleast i try to be nice... and sometimes u try to be as good as u can to ppl and they dont even want it.. it hurts when u get rejected.. it makes me feel like im not good enough for some ppl.. but then i kno i shouldnt care..

its hard gettin older and losing friends.. maybe not losing them completely but it doesnt feel like it used too..  but i guess ur real true frenz will alwayz be there..

its hard when ppl want more than wut u can give.. when u can onli give so much and u can onli handle so much from that person.. but u try to be there for them as much as u can.. but its not enough for them...

its hard to kno who u can trust and who is realli honest w/ you..

iono these r jus some thoughts on my mind..

cha soo i notice i only write in here when something really bad happens to me lol..

soooo.....  i decided to write in here just because i want too write hehe..

well i tried out for dance team... weird i kno lol. jus something random i decided.. but i didnt make varsity which kina makes me mad cuz i kno im good enough too and ppl made it who im posative are not better than me lol.. but ill jus try to get bumped up..but not im gonna be sooo busy this summer and next school year..

were moving again..  were moving into an apartment.. which sux.. but has some good things too.. like  ill kina have my own room and it will have a pool hehe.. soo now i get to pack again! lol.. which sux n is borring..

soccer is goin good becuase my team has gotten soo much closer and were playin soo much better together... we won our last tournament..

im actualli  doing really good in school too.. : -) i actualli have a 3.5 someting hehe..

the last time i wrote in here was cuz my heart got broken.. n it still is.. i still miss him like crazy.. im not gonna lie i still cry.. but then sometimes im ok.. ive already been asked out like 4 times.. but i dont want another b/f.. atleast if i do it wont b the same.. wuts the point? i think this whole thing has helped me be myself more tho.. which is good.. and too remember too care about every one and not reluy one person to make me happy..

n ya thats a quick summery lol..

k ttul

*ashley*

wow i havnt writton on here in freakin FOREVER

how evryone doing??

haha i bet no one will read this..

peace

well i realli havnt written in her forever so i doubt ne one will look at it.. which is ok.. i jus wanted to write down my thoughts..

well a kid i knew and who was realli good frenz w/ a bunch of my frenz died wed from drowning.. i sadly didnt kno him vry well but it hurts me to c so many of my friends in so much pain.. i just want to make sure im a good friend and that im here for all of them.

i pray for his family and his g/f he was going to ask out today and his close friends...

life goes by so fast and u might not live long enough to live a full life.. it can be taken in an instant.. or one of ur frenz lives could b gone tomorrow.. no one expects to die. or for someone close to them to die.. but it happens and it could happen to you..

i dont kno wut i would do if one of my best friends or family members died.. i wonder tho how ppl would react if i died.. who would cry n who would care.. i will nvr kno.. but i wonder..

live life like it is ur last day...