one step at a time steph... just one step at a time...

If worse comes to worse... I guess you'll just have to go home. I mean, there are people in your life currently willing to help you out. I just don't want to be a burden on anyone anymore..

They really are great people. I just think about parts of my life way too much... I should call mom, and Trese soon. I haven't had real discussions with them in quite some time...I should head into kahalu'u as well. I need to surround myself with family. Although family is hard to be around, they are still people who know a lot more about me sometimes then i know about myself.

Lots going on in my mind... but really, i just need to relax... its hard... i hope i can manage...

Currently Watching Jarhead (Full Screen) By Jake Gyllenhaal, Peter Sarsgaard, Scott MacDonald, Jamie Foxx, Lo Ming, Lucas Black (II), Kevin Foster (III), Brian Geraghty, Damion Poitier, Riad Galayini, Craig Coyne, Katherine Randolph, Rini Bell, Dendrie Taylor, James Morrison (II), Arman Zajic, Brianne Davis, Brian Casey (II), Ernest Ozuna, Tyler Sedustine see related

...back...

time to turn my mindset back. But i do still miss him soo much.

Its nothing to regret. I have never enjoyed being with someone so much. Meeting people, going out, having fun. He took my mind back to a better place. I should just be lucky to have experienced it.

I hope to be there again, and to be able to share lives with someone... having fun. I don't want to go back to old habbits. I'm tired of all the running around, finding physical comfort with people who really couldn't care less.

...Infactuation... what is that really? is it a word to accuse yourself and others of when you or they have actually fallen hard for someone. pointing a finger to the mind.

When is it actually real?

It sounds desperate to say, that I wish I could have done something, anything to see him stay with me. To see where "we" as a couple would have gone, and how long it would take to get "us" there.

It was hard to find that one person to attatch myself to, and when i found him, attatchment was the last thing on his mind. I could stand other people... some who just wanted to fool around, or others that wanted to rush into a relationship. Then there I was, rushing down a path with someone who didn't want to go. Karma...

Truth, Honesty, and Commitment... all together in a fun, unannoying, unique, REAL man.....too bad

a new beggining?

Missing

Who do you stand up for?

What do you stand up for?

I hate missing, missing days, missing people, missing sounds... because it shows how trapped in the past one mind can be. missing shaunette tracing, flowing the way water does if it were to dance. miss the sitting down, watching of movies, with a loving friend only to make kandi and eat popcorn after our wold of obligations are done. miss fighting for my own cause, only to be shared with a world of people. miss the never caring of what he, or she may think as i walk down that road under the happy sun. missing the bright nights under the stars, embracing our own lights as we shine proudly in the vast nothingness.

missing love

If sunset were the sunrise of your demise I could welcome the heat with open arms... For this to slowly murder my love, I would freeze in the tears of children, and their painful purity.

She took the prince to his final resting place, afraid that he would not rest, knowing the passion he held for her...the passion she is not allowed to feel for him, thus she does.

"brothers, sister" she asked the angels "how do i ease the resting of my beloved who would not in his darkest nights let me go?"

*voices*

"if i could only hear your murmers with a full heart, the pain and cold i feel in his weather does not compare to my own..."

Eyes of angels melt with tears of selfishness, and so did hers, selfish to want, to keep what she could not, what was not her own.