updates on the homefront...

www.myspace.com/taragreent

The herbs I am taking are beautiful. Chinese herbs and customs/practices are some of my favorite forms of healing and approach to living.

That was not a good sentence but I am tired and we'll live with it.
I've been on my back since Friday and today is the first day walking.
2 acupuncture sessions and chinese herbs that I have just begun today.

Spiritual dimensions too deep to explore in this brief  post...
I just need a minute to rest my back before resuming dinner preparations.

Two of my brothers have taken 'shifts' with us from Saturday early a.m. until later this week.
There is no way I could have taken care of my boys otherwise.

So, I got to lay on my back for the most part while Kiel carted kids around all weekend and then Sean showed up last night to relieve him and is on his way to the daycare now to get them while I finish dinner.

This is so civilized.

I am worn to the ground.
But deriving energy from the earth, rest and the support of my brothers.

So, now I work at a high profile Fertility and Pregnancy Chinese Medicine Clinic as a therapist and it is very much in line with what I love to do and my own philosophies.

But there are already some interesting tales to tell.

Yesterday, after my first day of training, at again, keep in mind, a high profile fertility and pregnancy clinic in the ritzy end of town where folks are paying several thousand on treatment....and here I am, running off at the end of the day to get to try to make my appointment at Planned Parenthood in our Glendale ghetto in time so I can get on the pill.  Don't have enough for the appointment so I am awarded $200 worth of services and 3 months of pills for a 'donation' which turned out to be the last $10 I have until Saturday.  And there was no point to run, b/c although the clinic where I work thrives on timely schedules, a community service clinic where 40 people are sitting in the waiting room at anyone time works on a whole different concept of time.

Overhear a conversation at work where a woman is complaining about having to take classes prior to adopting a child.  Oh my.  She thinks it is terrible that they had to sit through a movie on interracial adoption.  'What, are they trying to persuade us against it?' she asks. Apparently, all the children in this movie are saying how upset they are over being adopted by white families.  The woman having this conversation is not a malicious person, and she would be a great mom.  She is no different than most of us going against our daily routine and not necessarily realizing our prejudices or our inherent belief systems.  But, she really doesn't seem to get the idea that, 'yes', interracial adoption IS a big deal and you are going to have to take extra measures to ensure full cultural understanding, etc. etc.  It is just so interesting to watch. Another woman pipes in that , 'yeah, i've seen some of the parents out there, and THEY are the ones that need the classes, I can't believe you have to go through classes to adopt.'

oh lord.

it's like, some parts of the world have forgetten what being a parent and a child means and how to go about it.
on the one hand, people are trying to put rules on that really don't apply and on the other hand, it's like some of the most fundamental tenets are being forgotten.

i have a feeling i am really going to enjoy my work.
the anthropologist and women's studies major in me will have a heyday watching and analyzing the interactions;
the mother in me will constantly empathize, get angry and laugh all at the same time she evolves; and the 'healer' in me will see past and through it all to the simple need that each and every one of us has at every and all times, which is to receive love.

still, living in my hispanic ghetto, where my neighbor, Dave, a 50 some year old Mexican guy who works his ass off and was recently diagnosed with colon cancer but told not to bother with treatment b/c he would not be able to work and would just be sick the rest of his days....the same man who comes and introduces himself and tells me to sit down on the wall i'm painting and have a beer with him and come with him someday to his friends' house and pretend i'm his girlfriend just to give them the shock of their life, etc. etc and here where girls are pregnant at 16 and making it all work..........and then traveling for 5-6 hours everyday to a world where women have been in high powered positions with no time for children, suddenly wanting them later, or have been trying all this time, but it has not worked, where interracial relationships are movie matter rather than real life, where the work party will be an all out top-of-the-line vegetarian feast from some of the more expensive food stores in town (as opposed to the big pig roast i was invited to the other day)...where, at the planned parenthood, i still have little grip on spanish but at least know how to smile and find the same kind smiles from everyone around me, laughing as i am drifting off to sleep without realizing it since i was up the night before several times with a 1 year old having nightmares and then on the road to daycare work at 6 a.m.

and you know, i just sit somewhere in the middle thinking both sides are great and both sides have their prejudices and obviously, being a human, i do too.

it's in seeing the discrepancies and similarities that i get my greatest kick.

so, yes, i'm going to love my work.
and, yes, i love where i live.

thanx to mezamashii for this video

so, i just got asked on my first official date since i've been 'single'.
he's actually the same age and has the same name as my closest younger brother, ironically, since all men younger than me automatically fall in the 'younger brother' category.
ie. someone i love to hang out with but would never sleep with and feel a certain responsibility towards to take care of and protect!
anyway, i told him i'm not up for a relationship but think he is quite wonderful and would love to go out anyway.
he seemed fine with that, so, we'll see if he calls.
i'll see him again, though, since he works where i do outcall on wednesdays!

it just feels good to have that energy come my way though.
and he IS a cool guy.

i really can't fathom a serious relationship with anyone at all ever....at least at this point.  i 've got too much of my own stuff to get done and to work out before being even ready to consider sharing that with someone. and i don't know how long that will take. 
though i'm working on an older lover.
that i can handle. someone who can swing by the house every now and again after the kids are asleep, someone with whom i can have an intelligent conversation both in and out of bed, but not someone who filters into the daily events of the household. me and the kids are first, and very separate of all that.

 i believe i saw it in a blog by either mezamashii or orginal cindy that states how fundamental sex is to the release of energy.
couldn't agree more.
and i've always been a very seasonally and lunarly sensitive person.
so this full moon at the beginning of spring (here in the desert) is about killing me!
and the man i'm working on seducing is likely worried about the age difference.
how ironic.

lucky i get to go out dancing with the girls this weekend.
yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

howlllllllllllllllll to anyone reading.

ADDENDUM...didn't know he was hitched...gotta switch gears- my body is going crazy!
but in a good way.  mostly, i am just smiling and appreciating feelign this good :)