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| Life.So...Xanga....it just isn't working out baby. Times change and so do I. Heh, life is something isn't it. I sit here reflecting on my past and most of it just hurts...in a non-emo sort of way I swear. I am just not the person I used to be....and I kinda don't like the old me anymore. I am myself...nothing else. People need to get that now. I used to be stepped on....walked on....stuff like that. Fuck that. I let people know how I feel about something right away. It is better to be truthful up front. Hard to keep friends nowadays. Thought maybe Adam and I could re-kindle our old friendship...ya know, the way it was. I just can't do it. He's a great guy and all...but I just can't. I don't understand. We still talk from time to time and we went on a canoe trip last summer...and are going again this. Not the same. Nothing is. Sometimes I feel alone even when Megan is around. Job is good. Need to make more money though. Need to prove to myself I am not a loser....I don't care what anyone else thinks....but I keep myself pretty low in my thoughts. I doubt anyone care, but I am gonna post a link to my -old- diary. I need to go back and re-read most of it. Now everyone else can too.
http://garfield.digitalexpressions.nu/diary/phantomkid
I will be moving on to another diary-type thing here shortly. Don't know where yet.
-ciao
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| Can't sleep....was off work at 7.
Becoming an avid poster on the LonelyGirl15.com forum.
I am becoming engrossed in all of this.
Better go to bed...
-zzzzz.
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| Went and saw Tool, live at Kemper Area last night. They seriously rocked the house with what was easily the best show I have ever seen in my life.
I have a stye(sp?) under the eyelid on my right eye. Every time I blink it digs into my pupil, meaning it hurts ALL the time; it causes my eye to water and if I rub it away, it hurts horribly. I think this is the worst thing ever. Tonight...I am going to take a needle and hope to pop it, as it is making my life a living ell with no sleep...and if I do amanger to sleep a little, it gets so pussy that I cannot open my eye when I wake up and I have to clean it.
That's about it.
-werd.
PS: If you guys haven't joined the lonelygirl15 club, do so; it is becoming one of pop-culture's definitive moments in fictional web blogging. I wonder if she is gonna become a virgin sacrifice or something. Neat-o.
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| To make a long story short - I got fired at teh theater.
No real biggie, but I will miss the place.
On the plus side I am making around $600 a paycheck compared to the $300 I made at the theater.
-yeah.
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| Hrmm, I may be getting "canned" at the theater tomorrow. I got a call from my boss telling me we needed to talk.
-I called in on Friday because I had pulled a 12 hour shift at my security job the night before, I was able to sleep 2 hours before I had to work at the theater AND THEN I was going to have to pull another 12 hour shift at the security job at 7. (Which is an hour after I get off at the theater.) If you add it all up, I would ahve almost been working 31 hours -straight-.
I thought that was a decent enough reason to call into work, but I guess they see otherwise.
If I get fired, it will be toobad. I enjoyed working at the theater and the free movies were a great bonus. Who knows; maybe it is for the best. I have been feeling a little stretched thin lately, get 40+ hours at the Hill's site and then another 12 - 18 on top of that working at the theater. I am just trying to keep the money coming in.
We need to get out of debt and start saving.
Megan wants to go to cosmotology school, where is I want to start school at Washburn in the spring. I think I am going to look into a criminal justice degree and maybe after a few years I can become a cop. As a kid I had always wanted to be one, moreso the detective. Not that detectives have much to do in Topeka, but I want to be one none-the-less. For once I feel as if I know what I want to do with my life and it makes me kind of happy.
Back when we moved and I helped Megan buy her car we started to sink into some debt on my part. This got even worse as I quit my job and the expenses kept rolling in, even when my cash wasn't. I have about $2800 I need to pay off on my credit card and then I am going to start saving up some money in a savings account. I have always wanted to go to Japan or a videogame con, and I think that will be just the place for my $ to go.
I hope I can get the ball rolling and maybe, just maybe, Rich will not fire me come Tuesday. If anything, I may ask that my hours be cut down from 18 to 6 - 12 a week. I really enjoy making the theater marquee and the posters look so nice. It will be a shame if I get removed and it looks like shit afterwards.
Anyhow, I need to go take a shower and get over to Hill's.
TTFN,
-Jake
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