it's never how we plan.

When i graduated high school, i thought i had my life all planned out.  But then God, thinking he's funny or something, threw me for a loop-d-loop, and put me in my place.  You see, the thing is, I spent so much of my time planning out my life, I forgot to ask God where and what and when, and why.  But after years of running and fighting and ALOT of pouting, I gave in and now where am I??? California.... married....  and still waiting for him to give me the rest.  James and I have so many decisions ahead of us right now, some pleasant, some not so pleasant.  I wish that God sent mail, and he would just notify us every time he wanted us to do something new.  I personally would like the dove mail carrier- exept i'm afraid of birds, cause they used to try to attack me while i mowed the lawn... but that's another story. 

bea has been here a whole month now.  I feel like time has gone by, and I've barely seen her at all.  I miss her already, cause i know she's gonna be gone soon, and I'll be lonely again, and wont have anyone to gain up on james with me anymore... unless chandler will be on my side.  I love bea so much, in a way, she has all the good qualities that I lacked, and together, we're like the ultimate duo.  I wanna transplant her here with me, but I'll go directly to God with that one, cause hiding all her stuff hasnt worked so far.

I'm confused, and I'm panicky, and I'm happy, and I'm crazy.  am I? yes no yes no yes ??? .  like seriously, hello jesus 911. I sooo need your help.

uh huh, i'm all shook up

i love my husband.

It's a nice feeling to come home to a snoozy james after a long night's work of complaining, bleeding, psychotic, gunshot, terrified, sick sick sick people... i get to leave the world behind and experience true joy.  Not only cause i see my husband, but because he holds me and listens to my stories, and my frustrations, and he eat the food i cook even though it wasnt great, and he does my laundry, and sends me sweet text messages when i need it.  I love coming home because i know I've got a soul winning, spirit filled, annointed, qualified partner, and we are going to WIN!  i guess his being hot doesnt hurt anything.... :)

I got salsa lessons for my birthday- i cant wait to start them. We'll be dead after 6 hours, but you'll see us on the next "dancing with the stars" .... 

I love you James.

kisses

here comes the bride...

Well, we did it!  James and I finally got married, January 5th at 6:00pm at bethany church of the brethern in new paris indiana.  My parents and my dad's parents got married there too!  The whole day was magical.  I spent the early morning with my mom- shopping (grocery shopping).  I went in my pajamas and she shared with me the wonders of what it is to be a wife.  I found out alot in that conversation, and I still wanted to go on with it, so the day progressed well.  I got to see all of my favorite people, but didnt get to really spend time with them all.  it was great all us girls getting ready in one room, talking about the old days of college (i'm the last one of us tight girls from evangel to get married)  everyone looked phenominal.  then the music starts, and my dad comes in.  The world stopped turing at that exact moment, as he started to cry and brought me into his arms for the last time his little princess.  I think I stopped breathing when i saw the crowd- sooo many people!  And then... I saw his eyes, and  his smile- and I walked toward it not seeing anyone else.  I met a joyously tearful godly man, and my daddy gave me away.  Then the worship, the sermon, and finally the vows.  My brothers and sister bea did a great job during the unity candle.  my sister esther- wow, how beautiful (they were all beautiful)  and then... the moment we all had been waiting for!  the Kiss!  As we walked down the aisle to superman, james and I kept saying how it was all sooo happening right then!  the pictures, the food, the amazing cake.  and then the dansing.  we watched as two of our favorite single friends began to mingle.  I'm now praying for their direction, and for happiness like james and i.

I learned i love music,  and dansing is most fun when everyone does it.

i learned that i will always be my parents baby.  and that they expect grandchildren for christmas.

i learned that eric dwyer looks like a mountain man- and then like a 12 year old.  "the transformation"

i learned that true friends are friends every time they get together, no matter if they spend every day together, or if they havent seen another for a year.

I know and am learning everyday the meaning of love.

and I'm so grateful for all the blessings- whether in forms of nagging extended family, silly siblings friends that you dont really know, but like to  hang out anyways, cake and mints... and marshmellos!  smiles, and laughter..  and hugs.  and tears.

i love you

time flies