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TheBehemoth
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Name: JD
Country: United States
State: Kansas
Birthday: 6/26/1986
Interests: Dungeons and dragons, making movies, watching movies, punching babies, flipping off boxes of kittens (the last two are references to something. You get a cookie if you can tell from where), playing video games. Other shit. God, feel like a moron. Leave me alone to the harsh reality of my life. Or something
Expertise: Expertise? What the fuck does that mean? Well, I'm a fucking expert at yelling and cursing. Ummm. I'm the biggest geek you will ever meet, not including Michael Hogan, who surpasses mere geekhood and crosses into the realm of Godhood. Soooo, yeah
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  bigjd2004
Yahoo:  thebehemoth2004
Member Since:
3/29/2004
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| Im bored
No, for real. Like a full on ennui is setting in. Ever since I let go of City of Heroes, games havent really been able to hold my interest. I did manage to kind of finish Splinter Cell (I think. Im on the very last part of the last mission, so meh) but otherwise I just cant get into a game. Which saddens me. Gaming has been such an integral part of me for such a long time. This will sound terrible, but gaming was my first real love.
Corny, I yes, I know. But seriously, outside of my family I never really had any passions. I had friends I played with, sure, and TV shows I watched, and a couple games I kinda played (mostly Mario and stuff like that) but once I picked up my PSX controller and started Final Fantasy VII. . .that was it. I was a gamer.
I have extremely fond memories of games. Fallout 1 and 2. God I remember when Brian and I first sat down and played that. HAHA! Burst fire on a mole rat, and it freakin exploded. Holy shit we were traumatized. And god, how can I forget Xenogears. Fei, Grahf, Elly, all of it. I loved that game. KotOR, another fantastic game. And Jesus, City of Heroes. I played that game non-stop for about 9 months. That doesnt seem that long, but to me it was. I could have played longer had I not made the dumb mistake I did. A story for another time perhaps. But most importantly, I made friends. Under false pretenses to be sure, but friends nonetheless. OH god, I cried when I let it go, and I'm getting a little teary just thinking about it now. Tim, Reme, Im so sorry I did that. It wasnt fair to you guys. If only I could have told you the truth. . .too late now. . .
It makes me sad, this passing of games. I wish I had finished more games. I never finished Xenosaga II, I never finished Dark Cloud 2, or Star Ocean. I never even really started Kingdom hearts or X-2, and now I doubt I ever will. I've ordered Xenogears from Ebay, and maybe playin that game will renew my interest, but I kind of doubt it.
So what am I doing instead in my free time? Not a damn thing. Im just so BORED. I dont really enjoy work all that much, so I dont really get too much relief there, although its still something to do. So what do I do when Im not at work. Nothing. Not a goddam thing. I might read a bit, screw around on the internet, read some webcomics. But mostly Im just so damned bored. Typing this, I wonder if maybe there is something wrong with me. This ennui is brutal. Maybe I should see a shrink. I've been meaning to for a while anyway for Jared. . | | |
| I had a dream about Julia today. It wasnt just any dream either. I mean, it felt SO real, I could FEEL her in my arms. I've never had dream like that about any other girl except Katie. Which is why it kills me that she already has a boyfriend.
I have only felt like this about 4 girls in my life. Ann, Katie, Emily (bitch that she was), and now Julia. This is crazy. RRRRRGGGGGHHHHH. I dont know what it is about her either. I mean, she is a really cool girl, but we just seem to click really really well. I mean, when we look at each other, we do just that. Look. And I dont even feel self concious. What IS that? I cant even look at the girl I love (unrequited love, but I love her nonetheless. But thats a story for later) for more than a few seconds without looking away. But with Julia, we can look at each other until we actually have to get back to work. And its not my discomforting stare either that I like to give people.
Meh
Nothing will come of it Im sure | | |
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