TheBigWachowski's Xanga

Concentration Makes Cents

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 11:03:55 GMT

Tide, Gain, and several other laundry detergents have recently been concentrated to a 2x formula. Their ads gloating that "Concentration makes sense." It was a great idea. As a matter of fact, I can't believe it took so fucking long for them to make the change. I wish they would have taken a couple extra steps and made a fucking 4x formula. I'll tell you why I'm so fucking enthralled at the creation of a more dense cleaning solution. It's not because of the smaller package which will decrease plastic waste by 95 million pounds this year. It's not the estimated 400 million gallons of water that will be saved. It's not that these smaller containers will fit in smaller shipping cases which will save roughly 125 million pounds of cardboard. It's actually the fucking money that those companies will be saving. If you think about the shit that you read, you would have already realized that the companies making these 2x blends will have less overhead. That's 400 million gallons of water, 95 million pounds of plastice, and 125 million pounds of cardboard that these companies won't have to pay for this year. It gets even fucking better. Add up all of those weights, and you'll get the total weight that these companies won't have to ship this year. Even though fuel prices are through the fucking roof, shipping costs can drop to an all time low. With all of the money that these companies are saving, they'll be sure to pass the savings onto their customers.

SON OF A BITCH! THEY ACTUALLY RAISED THEIR PRICES!!!

Concentration Makes Cents!

Fists of Fury

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 18:20:47 GMT

   Back in November, I was away for CERF training. We were wearing our protective suits and extracting children from buildings which had been contaminated with nerve and blistering agents. This was just a scenario. The children we were extracting were freshmen in high school (around the age of 14/15) who were members of the ROTC program. We would just find a kid, ask them what was wrong with them, and extract them according to their symptoms. If they could walk we would lead them out. If they could limp we would help them walk out. If they couldn't walk or limp we would strap them into a sked and drag them out.
   I came upon a young boy who was unable to walk. I started strapping him into a sked, when someone noticed that he had a black eye.
   "Which one of these guys gave you that shiner?" asked a fellow soldier.
   The boy replied, "Ummm... It was a girl."
   I jokingly asked him, "Did you hit the bitch back?"
   I began pulling him through the building, down some stairs, and to the exit. Along the way, several people stopped and asked about the black eye.
   "What happened to your eye?"
   "Some chick kicked his ass!" I would answer for him.
   "Wow, how does the other guy look?"
   Answering for him once again, "Ahhh. About 5'6", blonde hair, nice set o' boobs."
   This conversation took several forms with several different people. The final being with an outsider who helped me strap the boy into a gurney.
   As I returned to the building to find another casualty, my partner, who was female, informed me that the little boy we had extracted was actually a little girl.

What did I learn from this?..
Never judge a book by it's cover...

Fuck Chevy

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 08:04:39 GMT

My car is a 2005 Chevy Equinox. It is gold with tan interior. The outside of it looks fucking sweet. When people see it, they always say, "Wow! Nice car." Then they look at the inside, and it looks like shit. The interior actually stains when it gets wet... I mean, from anything. Plain water will turn my interior black. Even stain removers stain my interior.

Holy shit! I just looked out my window and the ground is covered with snow. I just got home from work, like 20 minutes ago, and it wasn't even snowing. I wish my job had snow days...

Anyway... I did some research (Google), and found out that the material has carbon in it. When the material gets wet, it the carbon comes to the surface and shows through. The only thing that will actually clean it is a 50/50 of water and white vinegar. I tried to clean it, but it was too late. By the time I found out about the vinegar, most of the stains had already set in permanently. I called to see if Chevy had put out a recall on it. No... No recall. Why the fuck would anyone put carbon in the interior. You would think that quality control would have discovered the fact that water stains the interior. It gets better. My warranty doesn't cover the interior. So, I guess my only option is to get it reupholstered. Fucking Chevy! Fuck you!

Sudden Link: We're Connected!

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 21:51:18 GMT

Well, I guess I've had illegal cable for about 8 fucking months now. When I first moved in, I thought that it was just included in the rent. It turns out it is not included. Some fucking old ass cable guy randomly stopped by and asked me if I had cable. I told him that I did, but I had never signed up for it. It was on when I moved in. He asked me if I would like to sign up for a plan. I told him that I wasn't interested (actually, I'm just too fucking poor), and asked that he send someone out to disconnect it. He told me that someone should stop by in about two days. Fucking lying son of a bitch! About a month or so later, another cable guy stopped by. This one didn't seem like such a douche. We had the same conversation. This time, I decided to just sign up for it. This was on a Tuesday, and he told me that someone should be over to set it up on Friday. Once again... Fucking lying son of a bitch! No one showed up. Eventually, I just called the cable company. I told them that my illegal cable was fuzzy, and requested that someone come out and fix it. It was an awkward conversation, but I eventually told them that I was joking. I gave them the full story, and requested that they send someone to shut it off. They said that someone should be out to disconnect it soon. This time they were telling the truth. Actually, they weren't... Fucking lying son of a bitch. It's been about two months or so since I spoke with them, and no one has been here yet. I have illegal cable, and the cable company seems to be taking their slow ass time to shut it off. Well, I guess it isn't really illegal if I've done everything in my power to tell them about it. Fuck them!

If they're this fucking slow when it comes to disconnecting illegal cable, I wonder if they're any faster when it comes to taking care of their legit customers... Fucking Sudden Link. Their commercials suck and so do they.

The colour grey...

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:39:35 GMT

I was reading oceanstarr's latest blog when I noticed she used the word "gray." I remember being taught that it was spelled "Grey" not "Gray." This isn't the first time I have seen it spelled with an a. I immediately googled "Gray or Grey." I read the first link on the list and found out that "Gray" is often used in US English, whereas "Grey" is used in UK English. That really didn't bother me too much, but as I read on, I was a little upset. In UK English you'll see "litre" and "metre" whereas US English spells them "liter" and "meter." Our country pretty much said, "Eff you, Metric System!" If we don't use it, why do we need our own spelling for it? Don't get me wrong, I know that we use it, but it was mostly rejected. I just think it's lame that we take words from others, and we change the spelling. We don't really have a reason for it. If we would just keep the spelling the same on all of the words that we took from others (which is probably all of them), our rules might actually make sense. Imagine if all of our rules for spelling didn't have exceptions. I could always be before E... Even after C or when sounding like A as in neighbor or weigh. It would be a perfect world.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 11:59:59 GMT

   I once had a game pad for my computer that would let me control my mouse cursor with the right analog stick. I never used it, but it was there. I just realized that the one that I have now doesn't let me do that. I decided I would get to the bottom of this, and I immediately turned to Google.

   I found a forum in which a kid was complaining about his game pad not letting him control the speed of the mouse cursor based on the distance the analog stick is moved. This is just a small quote from his rant.

"It's a guaranteed sell for computer gaming people. Imagine if you could chuck your keyboard and mouse in ANY FPS game completely and just use your Rumblepad 2"

   As a computer gamer, would you choose a Rumblepad 2 with analog support over your mouse and keyboard in an FPS?

Here's the link.
http://forums.logitech.com/logitech/board/message?board.id=general_gaming&thread.id=529

What would you do with your extra time if you did not need to sleep?

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 07:50:46 GMT

I would probably sleep anyway.

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

Happy Holidays douche bag...

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 10:14:19 GMT

I want to start off by telling everyone "Merry Christmas." May Jesus' birthday be an enjoyable day for you and your family.

    Well, the holiday season is finally here. I haven't heard one person at any business tell me to have a merry Christmas. They're all saying "Happy Holidays!" They still say it with some enthusiasm, which is nice, but I miss my Merry Christmas. Don't think that I'm some hypocrite with who acts like a Christian and swears like a sailor. I'm kinda sketchy on religion. I don't buy it, but, if it is real, I hope I figure it out before I die. I do think that an unaltered version of the Bible would help me out.

    Back to the point of this blog. Why can't people say Merry Christmas anymore? Just because people don't believe in God or Jesus they're offended by it? I don't fucking believe in Leprechauns, but I don't get all bent out of shape when someone mentions one. I think that the reason people raise a fuss about it is that they're white trash, and they want their voices to be heard. More than likely they hope to follow it up with a lawsuit that would land them enough of a settlement that they could move out of the ghetto trailer that they are currently in and get a nice double-wide.

    Some people of other religions might be offended, but I'll bet you don't hear them complaining when they get December 25th off with pay. I'll bet they don't try to return their Christmas bonus to their employer. If you want to complain about having to hear people say "Merry Christmas," I think you should have to give up any perk that comes with Christmas. That includes the possibility of ever getting into Heaven... Ok... That was a joke (in poor taste).

What do you think?

News to me...

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 23:19:02 GMT

    I was listening to the radio one day and a news segment came on. They went over some current events and the weather. At the end of the segment, the reporter said, "...(whoever the fuck it was) was voted off of American Idle. I'm (Reporter's name) and that's the news!"

    What the fuck?!? If I want to know about the war, I'll watch the news. If I want to know which one of those fags got voted off of American Idle, I'll fucking watch American Idle. It's bad enough that I can't go anywhere without hearing some little emo faggot bragging about how much he loves watching gay boy-band rejects project shit from their cock-cuddling vocal chords, and now I have to hear it from fucking news reporters as well. When will this shit end? We finally got that corpse of a fat cum filled hooker, Anna Nicole, off of the fucking news, and now we have to have reality shows in the mix to fill the fat fucking void where that skank ho was.

What the fuck is wrong with the media? Nothing at all! The media isn't the fucking problem. You're the fucking problem. All of you fucks who watch American Idle, Survivor, Dancing with the stars, and all of the Ernest movies. You're what's wrong with the world. It would be easy to blame the media, but that would be wrong. The press is out to fucking please you faggots. They never cover anything that's good with the world, because that doesn't bring in ratings. Fuck the news and fuck you. While we're at it, fuck MTV! America went into this whole reality tv phase, and MTV decided to cater to the fucking masses! Good fucking job MTV, you fucking faggots! It's fucking Music Television. They started a second channel so that they could get back to music, and they fucked that up too. Here's a fucking idea... If the name of the channel is Music Television, why didn't you just start a second channel for the fucking reality shows? You fucking hacks! Fuck you!

    I have never watched an episode of Survivor... All that I know, is people get voted off of an Island. I'm sure there's some huge fucking prize for who ever gets voted off last. How is that entertaining? Seriously? I'll tell you what, I'll bet that 90% of the fucks who watch it aren't rooting for anyone to win. I'll bet they watch just to see some poor sap get voted off. It's because the country loves to see bad things happen to people. I think it makes them feel better about their own lives. It's pretty pathetic that seeing others fail makes you feel better about yourself. How long does that last though? You see someone fail, and you feel better about your life for the next five minutes, five hours, maybe the rest of the day at most? It's not worth it. Stop and think about how pathetic your life is and what you can do to make it better. If you're too busy looking for other people's faults, you won't have time to fix your own.

By the way...
Fuck MTV!

88 miles per hour...

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 11:06:18 GMT

Why are trains always late? Every time I travel by Amtrak, I arrive at my destination an hour or two late. Seriously, they know the exact distance to be traveled, and they know the speeds that the trains are capable of. There are no variables to consider. You don't have to worry about taking a wrong turn, getting pulled over, or getting stuck in traffic. I could see the person who makes out these fucking schedules sitting there in his little cubicle... "Ok, if train A leaves Chicago at 8:30, and train B leaves San Francisco at 9:25..." Holy shit, just get a fucking calculator if it's really that tough. I'll show you how your job should be done...

Washington DC to San Francisco, CA - Distance: 2449 mi

Train X is leaving D.C. at 10:00 am

Top speed of train X is 88mph (based on the fact that Dr. Brown and Marty McFly topped a train at 88mph right before it went into a canyon)
Train travels at 10 mph below top speed: 78mph

2449/78 = 31.39 roughly 31 hours and 27 minutes

Train X arrives at San Francisco at 5:27 pm the following day

Now, this is based on the actual distance from DC to SF, not the actual distance of track, so it would be off. However, I'm sure Amtrak has the track distance on hand, so they should be able to figure it out.
Fuck Amtrak!