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| Life has slowed for a brief moment, dear sometimes-reader. Let me get you back up to speed.
I am now working for the TSA, and that's the most I can tell you about that.  Suffice to say, it's kind of tough to be working at an airport and know that you're not going to be on one of the planes. Part of that never leaves you.
As a follow-up to my last post, I am happy to say that I have spent a summer with the most awesome young adults ever. The College and Career class at Glen Iris Baptist Church in Birmingham has really helped me with the transition period. Without the support of these fine folk, I'm pretty sure I would have gone nuts. (A short trip for me, I know, but still...) Shoutouts to Bro. and Mrs. Rayford, the Loller sisters, Brad, Ashley, Lauren, Mary Beth, David, Grace, LeGrande, Ben, Nioka, Natalie, Peter, and anyone I ever borrowed money from. (That should include everybody.) Bad news? Everyone's going back to school this week. Oh well. Great while it lasted.
Life is great overall. New career, new scene, new friends, new life. Business as usual in Chadsterworld.
Let's roll!
For those of you who need pics, check here. I'm the short one in the back row with an intense interest in his book. | | |
| Hi everyone. Still can't get enough time to finish the story, but as most of you already know, it does not have a happy ending. The rest is mere details.
I would like to say a few things about trust. Yes, I know, trusting people completely is a bad idea. But we're human. We need physical human beings to trust in on some level. A newborn baby trusts its mother to keep him safe, warm, and happy. In most cases, this is a pretty safe and healthy trust. Through life, we need role models, sympathetic ears, leaders, and good friends to encourage us in our walk. Yes, they are human. Yes, they fail. No, I don't think that their failure is an ideal situation, nor something that should just be accepted.
Consider Elijah. If anyone trusted in the Lord, he did. His miracle on Mt. Carmel was not only daring, but impossible. And yet, he finds himself depressed in a cave shortly thereafter (1 Kings 19, look it up). When God twice asks him why, he says:
I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.
I don't think he was afraid to die. I think that he had just reached a point of utter loneliness.
So what does God do? Gives Elijah marching orders, naturally. Elijah still had a job to do. But God also told Elijah about 7000 people in Israel who were left, and by the end of the chapter, Elijah meets an apprentice who will go on to recieve a double portion of his spirit.
Heb. 10:25
Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
Why am I saying this?
Some people have told me not to trust anyone anymore. That people fail. I should just "trust in God." That's all well and good. But I don't believe that I should trust God to the exclusion of those around me. I don't think that God intended for us to be islands. Every decision we make in life resonates in someone else's life somehow. Should that not be used for exhortation and furthering truth rather than selfish exclusion?
Ironically enough, the very people who have told me this have also let me down in a big way. Methinks that they were covering their tracks. Hindsight and all that.
Despite everything that's happened, I still firmly believe that there are those that God would have me trust and look to for guidance and encouragement. I don't see them right now, but they're there.
Maybe I just need to get out of my cave more. | | |
| NOTICEMoving. Mainly due to reasons semi-revealed already. Will post more as I get settled.
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| Part 8On December 18th, 2005, after the morning services, Jayme personally
stood before the church, claimed to have undergone sufficient
counseling, claimed his house was in order, and requested that the
church reconsider him as their pastor.
I had a suspicion he might try this. The previous evening, he had been
in a conference with my parents asking them what they thought about his
eventual return. Dad was very clear that such a return anytime soon
would be ill-advised, especially after news of the custody battle was
published in the newspaper.
But Jayme claimed on that Sunday that his house was in order, after
roughly three weeks of counseling. He'd had churches contact him, but
he felt like "God was leading" him there to Victory.
After making the announcement, he looked around at the congregation, as if he was expecting someone to speak.
When nobody did, Dad stood up, declared that we did not need an
immediate vote, but that we should go home and pray about this matter
earnestly. The service ended with prayer and one new church member,
Karen Riley.
After dismissal, I told Jayme that I needed to speak with him. Urgently.
We went downstairs to the dining hall where, in a trembling voice, I asked the simple question:
"What happened to the month, Bro. Jayme?"
He immediately accused me of bullying him over the phone, and said that
if I wanted to discuss something with him, I'd have to do it in a more
"Christian" attitude. I replied that he was crazy, I did not bully him,
and that he was making a huge mistake.
This turned into a shouting match between the two of us. I told him
that I would do everything in my power to oppose his candidacy, and
that he was in clear Biblical violation of pastoral qualifications. I
told him that I knew of his plan to purge the office of those who
disagreed with him. He called me a liar, backtracking and stating that
the only reason he offered me the bookkeeper's job was that she had
been talking about quitting herself. I knew this to be hogwash, as he'd
actively told me and others of his desire for her to quit. I told him
that his house could not possibly be in order after three weeks of a
repeat walkout. What's more, he'd demonstrated that he was a
self-willed novice who was quick to anger. I let him know that he'd
lost my trust when Mandy left. I told him he'd had no business
pastoring while his house was in disorder, and that may have been the
reason for the church's trouble in the first place. He called me a
conspirator and stated that the passages I'd quoted were merely my
"opinion." He named off three different missionaries who supported his
return, which we were to find out later that two of them did not. We
both left in a huff.
I went home and completely broke down. Dad called Dennis Blankenship,
who pledged to come down to the church and give the actual status of
Jayme's recovery, if needed be.
But the ugly rumors had just started....
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| Part 7After Jayme's resignation, the church went into an eerie stun. Dad more
or less took over preaching duties for the majority of December,
putting all of his road presentations of Maranatha on hold. Ken Black
had taken over the office manager position, and was settling in nicely.
I had been planning some caroling rounds to our shut-ins, as well as a
Christmas concert featuring our younger musical talent in the church.
Not much was heard from Jayme, however. Any phone calls I tried to
place to his cell phone were abruptly cut off, but I chalked that up to
the pitiful reception that is ever-present in Natchez.
It bears
noting that before she and Jayme had left for Bossier City for their
counseling with Bro. Dennis Blankenship, Mandy had come before the
church to apologize for her actions. Forgiveness was granted by the
church unanimously.
One night in very early December, around
December 14th, I was going over a musical piece with church pianist
Sandra Bailey and her son. Suddenly, perpetual church visitor Karen
Riley, a stereotypical middle aged "cat lady" with an obsession for
alternative medicine and (her own) personal sob stories, interrupted
our session with a brilliant idea.
Karen claimed to have fully
supported Jayme as "her pastor." (Even though she had not been, nor was
at the time, a member of Victory.) She said that, though it had only
been about two weeks since Mandy's return, Sue Jackson (Jayme's mother)
was reporting a remarkable "change" in her attitude, and a genuine love
for Jayme. She had apparently gotten over the emotional bars that her
upbringing had given her. In fact, Dennis Blankenship himself could
arrange it so that Jayme could pastor on the weekends, and get further
counseling during the week! She wanted to know if we would stand behind
such a proposal.
Rather floored by the idea of a pastor who
needed family counseling, I very cautiously said that, while I admired
Jayme, this was not a decision that should be made on emotion alone.
Much time would be needed by both sides for healing and counseling.
Karen agreed, but pointed out that the Jacksons' rent would expire at
the end of that month, and it would be nice if he could be called back
before then. Sandra and her son agreed with Karen, saying that they
"never wanted him to leave in the first place."
I immediately brought this concern up to Dad, who more or less dismissed it as idle speculation.
He stopped dismissing it the next day.
He
confided in me that Dennis Blankenship himself had called and claimed
that over the last three sessions that he'd had with Jayme, all Jayme
wanted to talk about was coming back to Victory. Jayme Jackson wanted
back in the pastorate.
I was mortified, but knew that I had to make sure before I started getting mad.
So I called Jayme's cell phone again.
No answer.
Again.
No answer.
Needing
urgently to speak with Jayme, I called David Blankenship, the son of
the pastor who was counseling Jayme, and a good friend of mine. I asked
him to confirm Jayme's cell phone number for me.
This he did,
confirming my suspicions that Jayme had switched his phone number with
the mysterious disclaimer: "But...you didn't hear that from me, okay?"
Somewhat amused and confused, I said, "Oh...heh...okay. This conversation never happened, then."
David then cut the conversation short and I called Jayme directly.
I
was very honest with him. I stated that there were rumors in the church
and elsewhere that he was planning to come back. If, indeed, he was
planning this, I was letting him know that he would need a new Minister
of Music. I pointed out that President Franklin Pierce in his inaugural
address stated, You have summoned me in my weakness; you must sustain me by your strength. Two
presidents and less than a decade later, we had a civil war. I reminded
him that the church had been through tough times and was weak, and the
last thing it needed was a shepherd almost mortally weakened by an
attack of Satan. Besides, people had been apparently talking about this
behind Dad's back without even asking his opinion, which was a fine
thing for someone who Jayme himself appointed to lead the church.
Jayme
sounded surprised, and stated that some of the members of the church
had indeed contacted him about coming back, but he had no intention to
do so at that time. Moreover, he realized that his family situation was
week, and needed "at least another month" to repair. Basically, he
said, he needed to get away from Natchez and get his family in order,
and that he really wished everyone would stop calling him.
I
told him that I understood, hoped he did get his family in order, and
hoped that he could make it down to listen to our concert in a few
weeks. We left on good terms, and I was convinced that some dire
misunderstanding had occured.
Well, Jayme "made it down", alright. And it turned out that the only misunderstanding was on my part...
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