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TheCheech
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Name: TheCheech
Country: Croatia (Hrvatska)
Gender: Female
Interests: writing. God. plays. theories. mimesis. the present.
Expertise: encouragement?
Occupation: actress
Industry: theatre
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/6/2004
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| No Titles TodayI started writing a post, but it didn't come out right.
There's a lot to say and no context in which to frame it. I've been reading other people's xangas and facebooks, what have you, and I really want to post something meaningful here, but I don't have the energy. Slept twelve hours and I'm still the walking dead. The only meaningful thing on my mind is the show anyway, and I don't feel like talking about it. I do and I don't. We have several performances left at other locations and I don't feel closure yet, nor should I. So I feel like I'm still in the midst of this even though I don't have rehearsals for it... I still feel simultaneously drained and energized.
I feel like the only worthwhile thing I have to give right now is more discussion of the same topic that I have spent the last six months (wow... it really has been that long) discussing. That's overkill, so I'm not going to discuss that.
I guess I just want to say that I did something important this weekend, and I don't often feel that way. It's thrilling.
end.
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| Same Song...stuck in my head that I had last night. I practically woke up with the guitar chords strumming their repetition in my ear. You know it:
Welcome to the real world she said to me
Condescendingly
Take a Seat
...
And on and on, over and over. And I know what brought this song to the forefront of my mind: I talked with a guy from high school for about an hour last night. It was quite random and strangely satisfying, considering the source. This young man chose Valentine's Day of my freshman year to proclaim strong feelings for me... the one and only day of my high school career that I was the object of anyone's affection. Lucky me, he wasn't the only one. I was courted by two guys that day. Overwhelmed, I hid from both of them in the days following and subsequently stopped talking to both. Eight years later, one of them is gay and the other one had a conversation with me last night.
I wonder if everyone in high school will end up being so strangely normal; like our parent's generation, we'll all just mellow out of our own accord. Suddenly my ten year reunion is on my mind.
Oh, and what makes me remember how young I really am: my roommates.
"What did you do tonight, Chelan?"
"I talked with a guy from high school."
"Reaaaaaaally?"
"Yeah. It's been about eight years."
"Is he cute? Ooooooh Chelan, if he's cute you never knooooooow!"
From "I talked to a guy" to wedding bells in six seconds flat. Yes, I'm obviously still in college.
Still stuck in my head.
end.
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| Ok ok ok then...I soak up tension like a sponge. Not much to say concerning the last few days except that I'm so glad that people responded the way they did... because I really was about ready to lose it. So, selfishly, I am really really grateful to those people who gave me grace when they could have told me I was stupid for feeling the situation as keenly as I was. Not meaning to be cryptic, just journaling. I think things are ok now, but I can't be positive. So, end of that rant.
I have been completely exhausted the last few weeks. I don't want to be anywhere until I get there... but that's a good sign, because I could end up being crabby once I get to rehearsal or class or whatnot and I haven't been, so things could be worse. Emotionally, I'm feeling pretty stable on the social end of things. Physically, I'm a wreck. Because of rehearsal, there's no chance of me getting to sleep before midnight, and if I do homework, later than that. Class starts at 8:00 am twice a week, so I can't take sleeping pills to make sure I sleep because I'm really only giving myself 4 to 6 hours to sleep, so...
yeah. I'm sick, and it's only enough to make me exhausted and whiny, not enough that I'm bedridden. Part of me wishes I could throw up so no one would WANT me to come to rehearsal...
but that's a silly wish. Bad, lazy Cheech.
Brittany just got "Buffy the Musical" the sheet music/script in the mail, and is singing to me. It's exciting. We intend to have roommate dramatic readings very soon. I wanna be Spike.
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| Emo Girl Strikes Again...My mother just called me to taunt me:
"I found the perfect place for your wedding"
And I have to say that even though she only half meant it- it was taunting, after all- it's nice to know that my parents at least still hold out hope of me getting married. Hopefully Gilroy Gardens (haha! I LOVE that name. So cheesy...) will still be around when I'm forty.
Emo emo eeeeeeeemo! *snap snap snap*
On another note: Allison and I were forced to listen to a couple on the DTR bench right outside our window. It really IS the dtr bench after all. I thouhgt that was a cynical title. But no. We couldn't close the window cause then they would have known we were listening, and we couldn't stop laughing because the conversation sounded so scripted... it was awkward. And they were out there for an hour. I thought about calling security, it was midnight after all.
Also: my ear hurts. Again. Like, it feels swollen and bruised and it looks a bit red and I'm really frustrated with it now.
I'm boring myself writing this.
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| A lovely bit of wicked...and I'm not referring to the musical. Tonight was a mixed bag for me, for reasons I can't go into here. I was at various times thirsty, satisfied, frustrated, confused, satiated, broken, humbled, angered, exhilarated, and free.
Of those events, I will tell you: two of the three have to do with Life Without Parole. And one of them had to do with amazing pictures taken for LWOP. It's so liberating to be around that group. I really feel like I have friends there. And we're connecting over something that is really intense and menacing and beautiful...
like a bruise.
Metaphor hour with Chelan (pronounced phonetically).
Anyway, my day ended on a fabulous note. I am now waiting for a text from Rebecca to let me know she made it home in one piece.
African Dance- go.
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