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TheCowthatCriedQuack
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Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Birthday: 8/4/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: Sinigng,Color Guard, Writing, spending time with the people i love! Being Random.. thinking... something i do way tooo much! hehe
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/9/2003
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| So.... it kinda makes me laugh that of all the people on my friends
list, 2, TWO of you cared to comment. Shows how much stock is still put
into xanga. oh well.
Clearly this won't get very far either, but putting it out there anyway.
Should I go back to camp this summer or work in the administrative offices of my college's Theatre and Dance Department?
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| ooooh so it's been a while since I updated. two reasons, one i have
another journal, (ask if you really care to read) and my lil mac will
not let me sign on to xanga, silly lil goose, and I have no urge to go
to the computer lab just to write in my online journal. However,
hopefully i'll fix that problem soon, and in the meantime well, you can
either actually TALK TO ME! (new concept i know) or leave me a comment
and i'll send you the link to my personal thoughts of late.  I am
now home and will be for the next two days, so if you want some suze
loving better get me quick! love to you all.
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| So I have a bunch of work I'd rather not do, and a lot on my mind that I don't wanna think about, so the most logical thing to do seemed to be to update. I've been busy, these art classes definitely take up time and if i have any hope of improving they are going to have to take even more. Financial accounting is also close to kicking my butt, hopefully i'll learn some self defense before wednesday and kick it back. Work is going well. I love working in the shop! Maybe it's the fact that I get to flirt with my new interest or maybe it's just the fact that I get to work with power tools, either way it makes my day. And yes i do have a new interest, finally one that is not named Tom or Mike, you would think I had learned my lesson, I have lol. I'm pretty sure this won't be going anywhere and I am way too hooked for my own good, but we'll see there are worse things i could be addicted to, right? I came home this weekend, still see anyone though, thought about calling some people, but I wasn't sure if they would be free or if they would want to. I dunno, it's hard to tell who my friends are still. There are a bunch of people that I would love to say I am still freinds with, but when it comes down to it, if we were to hang out, it would be filled with a bunch of long awkward silences. and thus I shopped, bought a mickey mouse blender, slept and scrubbed my shower tiles. Basically accomplishing nothing but giving my parents a clean shower, which i guess is a good thing.
Last week my new interest pointed out (several times really) that i don't have that many friends and that i have way to much time on my hands, humm I feel like this is def true, yet i don't see how i can have more time for anything else without going crazy? hmmm maybe i would have more time and friends if i didn't sit here updating for you all (very few) and listening to madonna... i shall go test this theory. | | |
| Hum.... so it's 1:34 am, it's been awhile since I've stayed up that late, well for the heck of it anyway, pretty sure I've been doing work this late. Anyway... I'm on duty tonite and I could go to bed now... but I kinda don't want to... odd I know, I just have a lot on my mind. I hate that I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. Now, I realize that very few people at my age do know what they are doing. But I feel sightly different... I thought I knew what I wanted. For the past few years I have been trying to figure out what I truly love doing, what I enjoy studying and what makes me look forward to waking up in the morning. I thought it was pysch for while, but I can only listen to people for so long and I'd have to sort out all my issues first and God knows that will never happen. I thought about creative writing, but I can't write well, or write at all on command, so there goes that. I thought about stage management, but i forgot that you have to work your way up the chain, you can't start out being top dog with your best friends working beside you... so now I'm pursuing theatre design and art. I suck. I cannot draw a box of the correct proportions and/or perspective to save my life. That could be an issue, considering set design is all about perspective and clearly I shouldn't major in art if I can't draw or create compositions of shape, line and color. Now I know that I am here to learn and not everything will come easy to me, but should I leave class wishing the prof would die, or I could go cry in a corner? I think not.. so I have no idea what to do. Do I even want to be here? I questioned this my senior year of High School as well, did I really want to sit through 4 more years of falling asleep in classes? I did it because it's what every smart kid does, they go to college, then grad school or something similar, make decent money and do everything right. But I'm not sure I want that. I don't want to do some minal job for the rest of my life and clearly I cannot live with my parents for much longer, and I therefore have no choice but to continue here. A little part of me wants to adition for shows here, to act, sing and dance but I can't do that here. There are too many talented and exprienced people, I lack the self confidence and skill to attempt. Also silly I know, but when you go to a school known for the theatrical talent it produces, intimidation comes easily. There is more to this, I think, but at the moment my brain is frozen, so good-night. | | |
| So once again.... my best friend has yet to talk to me.. again my point is proven... wait i haven't shared that point, i'll get there later. | | |
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