As it goes..

On the Lighter side:
I put in my two week notice with RGIS. I got tired of the bullshit. and my Area Manager is a worthless piece of shit. He talks to people in a mnner that would get anyone else hit in the mouth. But please don't think I don't have respect. I respect him as a boss... just not as a person. As a person he could fall over dead.. and I wouldn't care.

On the Darker side:
I'll probably be moving back to Wichita sometime very soon. Some family things came up, with the other side of my family... and shit doesn't look that good. I refuse to elaborate further on this.. as it's not my place to do so.. just trust and believe that it has made my life a little more difficult.. but I'm willing to keep on keeping on... I can't let this set me back, at least no very far. Wish me luck, and send a prayer for me, Joe and his mom and little brothers and sisters. And pray after working for RGIS for almost two years I can find a better job... without too much of a struggle.

I found a CD... and it reminded me of the better times... Times that are starting to slowly crumble into dust under a heart hidden from most. I try ... I try to remember that only I can protect myself... I try... to remember.... that things... have changed... I try... to remember.. that remembering is painful... I try to remember to forget the past...but part of me wants my "brother" back... even though I closed the door on him myself... and that I can't reopen that door.... partly because I will not break a promise to the one I dearly love... partly because I'm afraid of what might happen in the now that is my life... and partly because I'm tired of the turmoil that strains my relationship with the one I love... The CD? Blindside... "Silence"

"Thought Like Flames"
Blindside

I hear you, so don't you say another word
Now here you are standing there crushing yourself
I'll near you, but my eyes see a different world
Here you are standing there breaking my heart, as you're crushing yourself
But lately you've been painting on the walls
With the black fire, you lit
And you call it your mirror
And then you hate it, and then you spit on it

But sorry, you're not a god
Now every thought you feel within turning into flames
So hold your breath cause all I can smell is ashes
Sorry, but you're not God

I hear you, but I can't recognize even the sentence as truth
Who lit the black flame in your hearth?
I'm near you, but my words land far from your heart
You turn your back, and not know where to start

But lately you've been painting on the walls
With it like fire, you led
And it's a lie, and I hate it
But still you think it's you.
And you keep it...