|
TheDishwasher
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Country: United States
State: Maryland
Birthday: 12/19/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: a little of this... a little of that
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/25/2001
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
magg
|
|
| bah, remind me not to ever express my feelings with anyone again.... i just got acussed of stalking a guy because i went out to eat at a resturant that he happened to be parked in front of, omg, he wasnt even inside... i feel like a complete idiot, why do i always attract such drama, all i want is to meet a nice guy and run away with them, yeah, ok, its a bit like a fairy tale, but a girl can dream cant she... i want to be happy, i want to have someone that i make happy, just by being me, someone i dont have to flatter and gush over, but that is happy just to see my face... im in love with the idea of being in love, and its obvious, i think thats why guys like to keep me handy, just in case they run out of other girls, they can come to me and i'll be more than willing to be their rebound, im so naive i will actually think they love me... ok, this is a bitter entry, and i hope no one i know ever reads it, because i dont mean it to insult anyone but myself! i am so just... grr, pathetic... ok, im not that bad off, i just need to be willing to take control of my own destiny, and thats a thought that scares me to death.. why cant i be little again, back when it really didnt matter what i did, my parents were always there to clean up after me... it sucks to be an "adult" hahaha | | |
| ok... so its literally been like forever since i've written any thing on here.... shame on me... i've been slacking so bad with everything lately... i've decided its time i start to do some things for myself... im so sick of where i am in life, i need to do something about it... i work two crap jobs at the mall and make barely any money... if i go work with my mom i will only have to work 3 days a week and i will be making more than i am at my two jobs combined... not a bad deal... only problem is i need to quit smoking to get the job, which i need to do anyway, i wanna be healthy for once!! im going to get my learner's permit renewed this week, and im going to get my liscense asap... i need to be independant, and thats hard to do when i have to depend on others for rides everywhere... i'm also going to save my money, yeah, this is one i have said i'd do in the past and never did, but i want to move out, im not happy living at home, and right now i'm focusing on making myself happy, screw everyone else, no that does not mean i dont care about other's feeelings, it just means i'm tired of putting thiers before my own.. i love myself too much to continue doing that... next up, the boy situation, ok, there is this guy that i have fallen crazy mad in love with... only problem is he dumped me, but not like the i never wanna see you again kinda dump... no, this is way worst, it was the "we still have a chance" kinda dumping, so i'm left confused... should i try to get over this guy and move on, or should i wait things out and see what happens... this is a perdicament that i have yet to figure out... i care about him so much that i hate not to give it a chance, but at the same time, its not a healthy situation for me to sit around and pray that he decides he wants me, i feel so helpless, and quite frankly i think all my friends are sick of hearing me ramble on about him... so far everyone has been in agreement that i should just get over him, but i dont know, my heart tells me otherwise... although this is the same heart that told me it was a good idea to stay with a drug addict alcoholic... hahaha... its a toughie,but hopefully it will all work out... in the mean time i'm sleeping with his stuffed scooby doll every night instead of him  ... well i guess i've rambled on enough for now.... it was nice to vent  laterz | | |
| I got my diploma in the mail yesterday... I am officailly a high school graduate... a weird thing to to say seeing as I only went to high school for half a year.
I'm in such an odd mood... perhaps it has something to do with sitting through a three hour class which the main topic is death and pathetic jokes are made in attempt to make the subject more bariable. I'm extremely interested in the class (its forensics) and I like the proffessor and all... just I hate when people make light of such serious matters... I'm too sensitive.
As for my antropology class... again, love the topic, I love the professor... but some things bother me... I was reading the text book and had to stop because I got annoyed with some aspects.... antropology is the study a man as a species... it began by catogorizing humans by race, which in turn caused things such as racism... it then decided poeple should not be catogorized as such and switched to describing through culture... if it is meant to study man as a whole, what is the point in nit-picking differences between us... does that not just cause more problem... I understand that it is important to recognize differences to understand one another, but all the same it bugs me that everything talks about "western" and "non-western"cultures, why must everything come down to what seperates us? Again, I thnk I'm just being too sensitive, but i suppose someone has to take this oppinion, for if no one does, humanity may never be "one"...
i appriciate having a place to ramble... i needed it... maybe now i'll be able to sleep. much love to all that read this... | | |
| i feel uninspired... today is a day like any other... people look at me a shake their heads... while others (my friends) look at me and smile... i have so much i want to give to everyone (those that shake their heads included)... I wish people would be willing to acept my love, my "wisdom", my friendship, me. | | |
|
A long time ago in the make-believe world called reality…
Note: None of this was/is meant to make sense. None of this has meaning, not to me at least. If you read my writing and find the answers to your problems, you’re kidding yourself. I write because it makes people think I am intelligent, all the while I dream of something else. Fictional writing has always been considered the way to write out any emotions you can’t express in real life through use of make believe characters. I will never be a good writer. I’d much rather kill time with typed words and no reason.
Describe your worst fear….
That is my worst fear.
How would you describe yourself?
I am the one who writes nonsense and tries to pass it off as brilliance.
Note: This may all seem morbid and depressing, but what do you know of the emotions I mean to convey. I am happy with my “artificial life.” Trapped in a bubble; you will never see me struggle to escape.
How old are you?
Age is relative… six years ago I was older than I am today.
Note: If tomorrow were to be my last day on earth, it would not matter, for I have lived six lives worth and know true happiness. It is my theory that to know true happiness is to be on your death bed.
| | |
|
