This is the fanny bandit reporting in from Bandit HQ.  I've had a good time burglaring all your fannies, and drinking mcshakes all day, by the way, you can receive any number of great values from the McDonald's dollar menu, for only 99 cents, WHAT A DEAL!  But lately I've been wondering if fanny burglaring is the only way of life, am I missing out on something greater?  I lay awake at night, cutting myself, wondering is this all there is, could I be doing something more with my life, am I being fully satisfied by the fannies I commandeer?  When I was a young bandit, I used to dream of burglaring all parts of the human anatomy, will I ever move past the buns?  These questions haunt every waking hour.  But I suppose the life of a fanny bandit can never be completely satisfying, the fannies are my gift and my curse.

Ciao for now,

The Bandit

PS - This is not Timothy Fay, whoever that is, I'm deeply sorry for any confusion that may have arisen.

Watch your fannies...