TheKrackofDON
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Name: Don Xerav
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 9/22/1985
Gender: Male


Interests: Art is my life
Expertise: HUGS !!
Occupation: Student


Message: message me


Member Since: 6/7/2003

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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Ode To MOM (s)
Current mood: thankful

First of all ...HAPPY MOTHERS DAY !!! to my Mom and too all Moms out there... no one would exist without you Moms haha ...

I would just like to post one out there for my mom..and how much i appreciate everything she has done for me and my family and a thank you for all you other moms..some of you were second or third moms to me...i know this probably wont reach my mom directly or any other mom but i know who ever reads this has a mom and i know the love will spread...

Dear MOM,

From the day i was born i knew you were a strong woman. from how you spanked me when i got in trouble, to when i saw you wipe your tears and cracked a fake smile to comfort me that nothing was wrong... you made so many sacrifices just to make us happy and have what we wanted. first of all to have a family at 20 is hard enough and in the philippines. then having the divorce with dad when i was three and being a single mom with two kids. with just starting college, you sacrificed that to come to america to give us the better life. thanks to our great family of aunties and uncles we had a place to live. and i know you tried, you tried it so we had our own home and live independently but there was no way to afford it. i just remember so many times moving. i was to small to realize what was going on. i thought we just like moving a lot. now i know all the reason why those changes had to be made. Mom you spoiled me and i know im a spoiled bastard, and that amazes me how you could of done that. im sorry that ive taken you for granted for so many years.. i was too small to realize what was happening. You worked triple jobs to make ends meet and yet some how, you made time for me and ate. you got me into a good nieghborhood and protected me, with me not even knowing it. i never understood why you did the things you did until now. kept me away from the wrong crowd even when i wanted to hang out with them. you taught me how to be a gentleman. you taught me to never give up. you helped me EVERYTIME i was weak. and not just me ate too.. you made me the man i am today from showing me the differences from right and wrong. and being the perfect mom. i know you had your imperfections but all were lessons learned. like i know you dated so many guys cuz you were lonely and thats understandable. the fact that you made sure that they were good for the family was the key factor. when you made a mistake like being with my step dad was just another steppin stone to lead you to something better. Mom, when you were with him, is when i saw your strongest side and is what i look back to, to remind me of how great you are. the anger in my heart when i see he made you cry and the fact that he was a lazy bastard who was also abusive. if i was as big as i am now i wouldve kicked his ass so freakin hard..ARGH !!! okay okay back to my mom.. from living through that i knew you were something special. only one thing great came from him and thats darren. he gave me the little brother ive always wanted. again another child for you to support. and even harder at that..a single mom with two up coming teenagers and new born. freakin A! mom how did you do it>??? and still provide us with what we wanted>? and me ! always naggin you where my real dad was... you always comforted me knowin you didnt know where he was either but you made sure it didnt let me down. now with all that on your plate. you still managed to remain happy and keep us happy. i know you were stressed out like crazy but you did it. Now with all that pain and lessons learned.. look at us now mom.. look at the family you have. a miracle happened and you re-married dad... a miracle happened and we have the family that you started out with ..in a house of our own and kids who are damn proud of you and very proud to call you our MOM ! ive never met a stronger woman in my life. your still goin strong at this point.. working as usually and providing for the family. still spoiling us and making sure were good.. im sorry that it took me this long to realize all that youve done for me.. i feel like i owe you so much. youve raised us perfectly mom.. you did good. everything you sacrificed was all worth it in the end. i love you mom and i couldnt thank you enough for everything youve done for this family. i consider myself a momma's boy hahaha
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MOM ..I LOVE YOU !!!




- Love, your favorite Son in the world
DON DON DON

to all you other moms out there... know that you have kids just like me... not knowing what they have now, but will realize it later.. know that we look up to you as much as anything and love you to death even though it doesnt seem like we do.. never take that we hate you literally and keep on stickin. your a great mom and you all are very strong women, VERY STRONG !! once your a mom i know they get special powers , so use them wisely.. haha.. well again HAPPY MOTHERS DAY !! and other kids.. dont forget to tell your mom how much you appreciate them and love them .. cuz they only have a day to celebrate all the moms out there.. i love moms and i love MILFs even more.. hahahahaha...j/k













ps. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES OWEN!!


ive been in a relationship that was conceiled for reasons that will remain unknown. she was my mystery girl. only the closest ones to me knew who she was. im sorry that i did what i did and im sorry that it had to be that way. its a deeper story but im not going to share that with these strangers but i will share the girl that changed my life ..the girl that i kept inside.. the girl that made me laugh.. my nice girl.. the girl that created the man i am today.. the girl i will never forget and always love.. and share to the world of the girl .. of the girl i had to let go....

this was the most perfect day of my life...

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   ... and that is that.. i miss her and i love her but when something tells you to let go ..theres nothing else to do but let go.. and watch it fly ... and if it decides to come flying back then you know its real.. if it happens, it happens ..for now i will remain content.. and be happy for you, as i know you will do the same.. thank you for everything and teaching me how to be a better man.. again im sorry for everything that ever made you cry or put you in that mood.. i dont regret one second of our three year relationship. ive learned so much. i know this doesnt even scratch the surface of what you and i were .. but at least for whom ever comes next after you .. knows which of my exgirlfriends to worry about ...haha


Tuesday, August 31, 2004

PHO-CUSS 

   Grass is Green ... Sun is Warm ...

 

I need to start focusing on whats important and start letting go of materialistic blah .. damn .. my birthdays coming up and ill be another year older.. i need to CHANGE.. something has to go .. all my life i had goals set and dreams to fallow .. and as i look at it now .. none of my goals have been successfully completed .. i have gone no where .. hmm.. i wanna take that step forward .. but i have no idea which direction .. i guess ill stand here for while until something moves me .. until the wind blows me in a certain direction.. or when its starts getting dark and i hear stuff that scares me and run away from whatever it is ..or if i get chased by a huge ginormous flying bettle or something .. until then ill stand.. and wait .. hmmm.. hey, where'd my friends go >?


Wednesday, August 18, 2004

sorry everyone .. i really dont want to .. but im gunna run away for a while ..

its better then killing myself ..right?


Monday, August 16, 2004

   WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED !!!

hahaha ready for my fob story ....  im gunna make it short cuz i dont feel like typing but this has to go on the xanga haha ... alright so i go to mexico to go party it up friday night .. and we do and im with stephen and a bunch of other people .. we rolled pretty big .. anywho we party it up at some club down there and i was kinda scared for it being my first time .. it was really fun tho and i had a good time .. so it 4 o clock in the morning and the club aint that hot no more so we start heading out .. still kinda drunk i didnt where we were kinda and on the way back we hit the border .. and being stupid i was like hey.. that would be funny if we didnt make it back across.. hahaha .. any who .. so me being the second to last person to go through the dood ..i show him my ID and he scans it and enters it into the computer .. while this was happenin the group was waitin for the rest of us to go through .. so my ID doesnt pass.. and they say im not an american citizen .. then asked where i was born .. and i was like philippines .. and me figuering that it was no big deal cuz the dood was a filipino uncle looking dood .. so i was like it cool .. he'd be nice to me .. and then he goes so do you have you green card .. and im like GREEN CARD??????? yea i didnt know what the heck he was talkin about and he kept asking me for it .. i said i didnt have it and that  ive always throught i was cool without one cuz i thought i was under my moms citizens thingy .. so he goes alright head over there to that guy  at the desk and he'll help you out .. so i go okay .. and at this point im not worried cuz im jus thinking they might just ask for my name and see that im legal and let me go .. so the dood asked me for my parents names .. and i do .. and then he tells  me .. he cant find them on the computer .. and then he looks somemore .. and he finds them .. but at this point im starting to get worried cuz my parents arnt being found ... then he goes .. o here they are ..but they arnt american citizens either .. FUCK CUNT SHIT AHHH ... thats what i was thinking in my head at the time .. he tells me that my parents were under " PENDING "  *** AWWW DAMN ** BIG SIGH ***  then he was telling me that since they are under pending we cant let you through .. and asked if i was sure that i dont have any documents that would help me out and if im sure i didnt have my green card .. i told him no .. then he starts scaring me that this was a fedal  offfense  and that i either get my green card from my mom all the way in temecula  or i pay a $250 fine or i stay  in mexico ......... so at this time they yell at my friends who were waiting for me to wait outside and me feelin bad that they have to wait ... then he tells me to fallow this guy and i did .. and then he tells me to go into this door .. and right when i got in .. he goes put your hand on the counter .. and im okay .. remember im starting to get really scared and freakin stressed out at this time .. and he goes empty out you pockets and i did .. then he starts patting me down and searching me like crazy ... then i forgot the my keys were still hooked onto my pants ..so i go and take them off .. and he grabs my hands and yells to me to KEEP YOU FUCKIN HANDS ON THE COUNTER !! ... AHHHHHH .. i was about to cry at this time hahahaha seriously i was freakin scared .. anywho .. he takes all my stuff .. and he tells me to sit down .. and face the wall .. so im in a room with a couple of other dood that fucked up and i had to wait till i got called up by other officers .. at this time im hopein they would probably let me call someone for help or something .. but no .. no comunitcation what so ever .. no calls no nothing .. then the guy next to me starts talking to me .. and out of nowhere the gaurd goes .. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FACE THE WALL !!! yikes .. so i turn around and try to sleep ... fuck .. what the fuck did i get myself into ... this was at 5 in the morning now ... so i wait .. and wait somemore .. and then i tell a gaurd if any of my friends were still out there for them to go home and ill handle the rest .. while i was waiting for my name to get called up .. the dood asked me more questions .. so im guessin the border place is really racist cuz he kept askin me stereotypical questions like .. so is your dad in the navy .. im go NO ...did he used to be in the navy ...NO ... did he want to be in the navy ... i said probably hahaha .. that didnt really get to me .. but when he told me to sit with the other filipinos and talk about how we fucked up .. thats what got to me and when he called out for another guy that was filipino .. he was like damn flips .. fuck that .. o well .. so i felt like i was in jail and i didnt know what the heck i was gunna do ... its now 7 am .. and damn .. im worried .. so the guy calls me up again and talks to me somemore about my options ... he said we can allow you to call home and try to get your green card or find a way to get 250 ... SIGH ... i had no choice i thought but to call my mom and try to get her down there and get my green card .. but then the security gaurd out side .. called out my name .. and saif your friend stephen is out side waiting for you .. when i heard that i was relieved but at the same time i felt really bad that hes still waiting outside for me .. so the gaurd to tell him what was goin on and that to go home if he wanted to ... the gaurd comes back and tells me that stephen was gunna try to the 250 to bail me out .. big sigh ... and i wait somemore ... 830 am ...the gaurd calls me up and tells me if you cant find a way out ..you gunna have to stay here .. then he asked me if i wanted to call my mom to get my green card and i felt like i had no other choice .. so i was about to ..until the security gaurd outside calls out my name again and tells me that my friend has the money ... **** GINORMOUS SIGH **** and bam there was the money to get me out .. so the guys tells me your lucky and he starts fillin out the paper work .. then he tells me that i should always have my green card at all times and now i have it on my record that if i dont have green card on me i can get arrested for it ... freakin A ... anywho .. then he starts scaring about how its pointless to go to mexico anyways .. haha like a typical uncle would do .. he was telling how some filipino guy was down there and they murdered him and sold his body parts .. i dunno .. i was ready to get out of the damn place .. damn while i was waiting in that room .. i was hoping to see one of my friends dad or something  but i didnt .. i did see chris endozo's dad hahah but i was looking for nates dad that most .. but no luck .. so im finally gettin out of this junk out place .. and right when i get out the door .. there freakin stephen thank goodness waiting for me still ... now i know who my real friends are ... i paid who ever bailed me out back .. and kindness of strangers is freakin great .. it was stephens cousin who bailed me out and without that .. i wouldve been stuck .. thanks for all you help guys .. so i get out at 9 am .. im hungry , tired , stressed , and kinda hung over ..but it was fun ..not worth 250 but fun  ..

if theres any typos or mis-spelled words please excuse them .. rushed the story out .. probably leaving out some minor details .. but id probably tell you the whole story again when i see you .. haha later days



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