TheLadyInGreen's Xanga

Baby Updates the Lazy Way

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 20:28:39 GMT

Found this online and decided to post it. Since I rarely get around to posting, I figured why not use this? It gives a decent update on baby, plus it's got the sarcasm I'd be dragging out right about now anyway (I swear, if one more person asks me how I'm feeling...) So if you wanna know how everything's going, just check back here every week or so.

(By the way, anyone can feel free to buy me the t-shirt that says "Rub My Belly & Be Destroyed" from here).

Happy Music

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 15:29:53 GMT

Sometimes You Just Have to be Rude

Mon, 19 May 2008 22:41:53 GMT

I received a phone call at work, which I did not pick up as I was at work. I actually didn't even realize I had gotten a call until I slipped my cell phone out of my pocket underneath the desk to sneak a peek at any possible text messages I may have received. We're techinically not supposed to be using our phones at work so I don't very much, but considering how everyone including the manager and the owner use theirs all the time, I feel vaguely, if not falsely, justified somehow. Excuse me now while I jump off this cliff behind these other people.

In any case, my little electronic straitjacket informed me that I had One Missed Call and One New Voice Message. Since there really wasn't anything else to do at work, I listened to my One New Voice Message. According to the message from one Talisha!, my husband and I had received a Free Gift! from Pink Apron Preview! and would I please call them back at 1-866-255-7776 to speak with them about claiming my prize!

Stealthily slipping over to the office internet computer, I googled "Pink Apron Preview" and was given links to several discussion board/blog sites which contained comments and speculation by other Pink Apron Preview prize "recipients." I even discovered that www.pinkapronpreview.com is a real website with real pictures and real customer testimonials that seem to have been written on cocktail napkins by diazepam-ed ladies who were threatened with never seeing their precious little Fluffybelle ever again if they did not write something nice. I dug into my pocket for my roll of Tums as I clicked off the page.

Later that day...

While on my way home from work, I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket (I'd forgotten to take it off silent mode). Thinking it was my spouse or a sibling, I pulled it out and checked the number. I recognized it as being the number I had been asked to call earlier that day by Talisha! so I could claim my Free Prize! As it had been a rather boring day at work, I felt up for some amusement and so I answered. This time I spoke with Sandra! who wanted to make sure that I had received the previous phone call from only three hours earlier.

Sandra!, speaking rapidly so I am unable to get a word in edgewise and absolutely must listen or hang up, continued with her spiel, "Good afternoon, Mizz MacDonald! how are you today!? I'm Sandra calling from the Pink Apron Preview and I just wanted to let you know that you and your husband have qualified for our Deluxe Vacation Travel Package! which is a three-day/two-night accomodations at your choice of three locations!: Paradise Island Harbor Seaside Sunset Beach Relaxation Holy-Sweetness-Batman Resort in the Bahamas, Aquamarine Beach You-Don't-Wanna-Be-Near-This-Place-During-A-Hurricane Hotel in Cancun, or the festive-sounding Fiesta Casino and Rat Hole Resort in Costa Rica*."
*which, incidentally, is now a DoubleTree
"Now what do you think about that, Mizz MacDonald?"

I'm not sure why I felt like prolonging my torment, but she kept asking things like, "Now wouldn't you like to hear more!?" and "Aren't you excited!?" I got the feeling she was used to speaking with ditsy, disillusioned young brides who were just so excited! that they qualified for a free trip! and replied with enthusiastic affirmations. My responses were probably nothing like what she was used to. I spoke with clipped, curt, and absolutely emotionless tones, saying things like, "What more did you want to tell me?" and "Would you tell me what the catch is and don't say there isn't because I know there is." I could tell that I'd dragged her out into uncharted waters and imagined her rapidly flipping through the employee manual, desperately searching in vain for the "correct" response to my "incorrect" answers.

I finally ended the torture by requesting that they not call me again and if I have any interest at all, I will contact them. Grasping at what were probably familiar phrases which she now recalled from her role-play training sessions, she offered give me their website address so I could see what they were all about! and access more information about this great offer! I merely repeated that I did not want them to contact me again and if I were interested I would contact them, adding that I already had seen their website and knew the address. She asked if I had already spoken with someone about their offer. No, I said,... I'd googled it.

-pause- ... then a flustered, "Oh, okay." Click.

Updates suck

Sat, 10 May 2008 15:05:02 GMT

So I finally gave in to the browbeating of Xanga to try the "New-and-Improved" personal page. I couldn't figure out for the life of me how to post a new blog entry. So I left and returned to the safe and comfortable homepage I know and love... never to return again to the unknown.

So the Ossipee Library is where it's at... "it" being internet access. I discovered, much to my delight, that one can reach the library within about five minutes by walking down the train tracks that run past my house. Mayhaps I'll actually be able to blog more. Not likely, but it's a possibility. I am a little annoyed because I specifically requested computer #10 so I would be back in my own little corner, undisturbed by others. However, no sooner do I sit down and start logging onto various email and blog accounts than two people sit down at the computers to my left. The closest one being a rather dirty and hairy old man, who smells like he hasn't showered since the Reagan administration and has probably just finished smoking about five cartons of Lucky Strikes. And he's coughing in that really disgusting smoker's way. You know the kind: full of phelgm and so intense you suspect the late stages of TB. Oh, and he's coughing into his hands. The hands that are at this very moment manipulating the keyboard and mouse... at the public library! I'm gonna start carrying Clorox Wipes with me, I think.

Normally I'm not such a germophobe, but it's interesting what pregnancy will do to you. Having such a direct responsibility for another human life can really make you more paranoid about what you're exposed to than usual. I'm not saying I'm turning into the illegitemate offspring of Martha Stewart and Danny Tanner. I'm just a little more careful now that whatever affects me also affects my baby. I used to eat things that had been dropped as long as you couldn't see anything ("You can't give that to him, Terry! It's got things on it!" "That's all right, Mrs. Fawlty. What the eye don't see, the chef gets away with.") and if it fit under the Ten Second Rule. Now I give it to the cat or throw it away.

On a totally random pregnancy note, you know how you hear about weird cravings and all that? Well, I haven't had any of those I-MUST-have-and-I'm-sending-hubby-out-at-3am-to-get-some-NOW cravings, but for some reason, Coca-Cola tastes soooo good! I don't know why, but the flavor is like sweet nectar of the gods... *sigh* but I'm being good and not drinking lots of it. Dang, but it's good! Mmmmmm...

Okay, well, I've gotta get going. Starting to feel hungry (like I always do, nowadays), my back's hurting* from the stupid cheap office chairs supplied by the library, and the coughing guy is really starting to make me feel gross. I really need to go wash my hands now. Ewwww!

New News!!!

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:44:23 GMT

Hello everyone! Been a long time, but I have an excuse. Besides not having regular internet access (as I've previously mentioned), I've also been really tired... because...

I'm expecting! I'm actually due the 27th of October (my first anniversary!). I'll keep everyone posted as information is acquired. Feel free to offer name suggestions, although you should probably know I'm not a fan of the current trendy names like Madison, Tanner, Blake, Addison, Mackenzie, Connor, Gavin, etc. And mutant spellings of either common or trendy names bug me, too. Name your daughter Kamryn and she'll be forever having her name spelled incorrectly. It'll just be frustrating for the poor kid. And if you go with a really different spelling, it'll always be pronounced incorrectly, too. I'd rather save my kid the hassle.

Anyway, it's getting late (at least for me). I'm always tired now... and I'm really picky about what I eat. But the nausea's pretty much gone. That's one nice thing.

And I'm not drinking coffee anymore.

Blah blah blah blah blah

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 13:56:31 GMT

So I don't have regular internet access... which would be why I don't update as often as I'd like. The job is going fairly well, although the manager tends to talk down to you in that I-think-I'm-being-nice-but-it-comes-across-like-I'm-talking-to-a-first-grader tone, which can get a little aggravating, as you can probably imagine. But she's getting better now that I'm a bit more knowledgeable and all that. I do wish I could leave that place at the end of the day without a mild headache, though. Anyway, must go. Things to do. Places to go.

P.S. I'm listening to Swan Lake, but the Listening option thing isn't working for some dumb reason.

I am now a productive member of society!

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 23:27:31 GMT

I just recently found a job as a bookkeeper/office-doohicky-helper-person. I'm still in training so a lot of my work consists of sitting around watching and/or making menial tasks last longer because I have absolutely nothing else to do. Although come Thursday, I'll be learning all I can from the lady I'm replacing. Unfortunately, I only have about seven hours as Thursday is also her last day. Yeah...

The Ossipee Library just called and I ignored it. I have overdue books and am ashamed so I don't feel like having cranky old ladies hollering at me about it. I'll return 'em tomorrow... and pay the fine after Thursday when I actually have money.

In other news, I'm wondering if a somebody out there (who has my cell phone number) has some kind of vendetta against me. Or maybe it's written on a bathroom wall somewhere. Whichever it is, all I know is that for the past six months or so, I've been getting these strange random calls every so often. It's not every day. Possibly not even once a week, but every so often, my phone will ring and someone will ask for someone like "Mark" or "Dennis." Or else they'll call and leave a message. For me. But I won't have the foggiest clue who the heck they are and I get a distinct feeling that they don't really know who I am, either. It's weird. And kind of annoying. But all of my friends know my phone number and I really don't want to change it now. Maybe I'll just start following up those weird calls with "and don't ever call me again!" or something.

No entry today... just another video

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 16:54:34 GMT

This is very creative and well done. You really ought to watch it. And stay awake!

Dude, Where's My Enterprise?

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 12:15:03 GMT

In an attempt to get his own whack at the pulverized equine remnants that are Star Trek, J.J. Abrams (who, incidentally hasn't done much more than produce a few Felicity episodes and direct Mission: Impossible III, for which he also wrote and performed the song "Groksploitation"... that's right, "Groksploitation") has elected to take on the task of directing yet another Star Trek movie. In his most daring film endeavor yet, it seems that Abrams is actually attempting to make a Star Trek movie that doesn't star William Shatner.

Set in the early years aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise, Star Trek follows a young Captain Kirk, played by an actor who will at least be recognized by teenage girls, Chris Pine. Alongside Pine (acccording to the Internet Movie Database) is former Rider of Rohan Karl Urban as Dr. McCoy (... huh?), Heroes cast member Zachary Quinto as Spock, kleptomaniac Winona Ryder as Spock's human mother Amanda Grayson (seriously), former Caribbean pirate Zoe Saldana as Lt. Uhura, some-kid-who-looks-like-Richard-Simmons'-illegitimate-child-but-was-only-chosen-because-he's-Russian as Pavel Chekov, Shaun... I mean Simon Pegg as Scotty, and (this is my personal favorite) the completely baked star of such gems as Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (really)—John Cho as pilot Hikaru Sulu.

Not much is known about the movie, which is set to come out in theaters some time around Christmas 2008. One can only guess at what kind of adventures are to be had with this brand new, barely pubescent crew. I shudder as I consider what Captain Kirk would be like with more hormones and worse judgment.

Sadly, I don't hold too much hope for this film. I don't even really plan to see it, although I'd consider making an exception after the RiffTrax came out. As far as what can be expected, I honestly have no idea what sort of adventures are in store for this fresh new crew, sans bowl cuts. I can only imagine them experiencing such difficulties as unrequited crushes and Uhura with PMS. And the horrors of acne, depression, and teenage angst can only be the beginning. Maybe they'll run out of fuel because all Sulu did at the last filling station was buy himself case after case of Hostess Sno-Balls. Or perhaps Uhura will get into a fight with Kirk over getting her navel pierced against Federation policy.

Whatever happens, I'm not holding my breath. Considering the fact that about ninety-percent of the cast has more experience acting in comedies or teeny-bopper films than anything else, I'm also a little worried. I can just see the filmmakers trying to appeal to a "broader" audience crowd by tossing in a little juvenile humor via a farting alien or something.

The only good thing that can come of this is the slight possibility we'll get to see Eric Bana in Klingon makeup.

Lost in Translation

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 16:10:17 GMT

Enjoy.

via videosift.com

Sorry about the garish, retina-fusing colors. I can't change 'em or else I would have.