|
| I am back my fellow xanga lovers!! I have been off on a business trip in Tom's Town down in northern Ireland. Its a war torn town with many naked kids running around and throwing little pieces of penguin liver and poodle dung. It was a great trip, a trip I would gladly take again. This is my business colleague who is a man of great bear knowlegde and amazing feeble skills. 
He has just called for a meeting with Yanakovich's mother. We need to discuss the possibility of starting a Weight Watchers Club because pregnant women get fat and only women can get pregnant. Bye bye, | | |
| SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."
There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance
Women blink nearly twice as much as men
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
.............Now you know everything
| | |
| What to do with a husband.
1. Clean the gunk between his toes
2. Give him massages everyday
3. Get up early to make him his favorite breakfast
4. Give him a bath everyday while singing a song and dancing
5. Pick the lint from his crack
6. When he comes back from work, hand feed him his dinner
7. Every tuesday night, um.................ya...........um............you know.........do.............................................let him go to play poker with his guy friends
8. Learn vietnamesse to be able to read to him vietnamesse books to put him to sleep at night | | |
| The five problems of pregnancy
1. your wife is cranky
2. your wife gets fat
3. when she gives birth she makes a racket
4. expectations go way up for the husband
5. neglects laundry and cooking chores
I have been tagged, I will now leave a lemon drop
Ok, now for my habits...
1. When I am travelling on and in the metro, I have a habit of
searching for couples who are making out. Then I go up to them and pull
down the pants of the male. I, then, point to an innocent bystander and
yell that that person is the culprit. The guy goes and beats up the guy
and i walk away. I don't even realize that I am doing this.
2. When I go deep sea shark fishing, I have a habit of pranking my
friends by unplugging their oxygen tanks when they are over 1000 meters
under water. They can never take a joke.
3. I have a habit of tickling girls. Is that a bad habit? The youth group teenager leaders said it wasn't.
4. I do mental makeovers on people. Like in school someone will walk in
and I'll think "What is wrong with their face? They should get a new
nose," and " She should should get new hips, like lighten up on the
burgers, baby!" You get the picture.
5. I ALWAYS sleep naked...BUTT naked.
| | |
| I got six piercings in my eyebrow today. It wasn't done by a proffesional, though. So it will probably get infected and fall off, but I don't care. At least I look cool. Now I can hang with the cool kidz (ya, thats cool spelling). Now I have to look after my odor, because I have to smell right to be cool. I also have to look after my booger collection. It would be awful if they saw it. I have to wear the right style of clothing or I will fall apart. And I have to polish my new guittar that I don't know how to play. If I have one, then I will be really cool. I going to buy 6 more this week end on ebay and hopefully learn to play "smoke on the water". It is a hard song but I think I can handle it. I also need to boast about myself and make me look better the everyone else. Ha ha ha. Your mom needs to change my diaper, now. | | |
|
|
