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TheUnseenUndine
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Interests: Trying to be funny and occasionally succeeding, singing in the shower, singing outside of the shower (which annoys everyone), taking photos of non-celebrities but pretending when I take the picture that I am a world famous portrait photographer so that they think they're special, making a bazillion dollars so that I can spend my time writing the Great American Novel and of course, providing a source of irritation to my kids.
Expertise: Jack (or rather Jill) of all trades, master of not too much. Can speak with foreign accents so people will think I am exotic and maybe a spy. Also, I have a major talent for making fattening desserts and I possess huge skill for being a general pain in the arse.
Occupation: Executive
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
9/22/2004
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| Guilty PleasuresSo, okay, I have 'em. We all have 'em, right?
Like, eating ice cream right out of the container with a giant spoon...or singing in the shower...or manicures and pedicures...or - well, you get the idea.
Well, besides some of the above (which I admit to, by the way) I have some others, including (but not limited to) watching (and ranting over) American Idol.
Now, I did swear (initially) not to write or blog about this subject because a whole brimmin' bucketful of stuff has been written about it already (ad infinitum/ad nauseum) but I couldn't resist the urge.
Now like I said, there are the major pages like Vote for the Worst, which, imho is the worst - not because they don't have a funny, if unsettling premise, but because the site just comes across as kinda mean to me. There is the Television Without Pity site, which is a tad snarky, but a good read (with a huge forum) and then there are the USA Today blog and Buddy TV, which is my personal favorite. It isn't so much that I always agree with those writers, but they are pretty much on the mark with their commentary.
Anyway, I'm not entirely sure why AI is one of my guilty pleasures, but it is. I mean, generally, I loathe reality TV. Although I will check in on Project Runway occasionally, it's just to see what the designers have created out of some impossible supplies like packing materials, for example. Now, while I watch the beginning of each year's AI season with its insane auditions, I do not revel in making fun of some poor jerk's attempt at instant stardom. However, I do wonder - on many occasions - this particular thought: WHAT WERE THESE PEOPLE THINKING???
Okay, I like to sing as much as the next person. And I love thinking I'm the next biggest thing, particular when I'm driving (alone) in my car or, well, singing in the shower. But although I did do some community theatre and I can (more or less) carry a tune, I know that my voice is not, and has never been competitive or the next biggest thing. So, if I were in my late teens or 20's - which I am not - I still would not audition for AI.
But some folks can truly be hoisted by their own petards, so to speak, (and as a side note, according to this Wikipedia entry , a petard was a small medieval bomb used to blow up gates! ...which makes a lot more sense once you start to really think about it) and some folks will do just about anything for their 15 minutes. Ah fame.
But now, at this late juncture, the show is down to 5 contestants. As to this week, the Andrew Lloyd Webber week, well, like many, I think the wrong person went home.
Now, a lot of viewers think the theme weeks are stupid, and indeed, they may be right, but the truth is, having celebs mentor (in a variety of genres) does at least have the potential of making the contestants stretch and go outside their wheelhouse (the comfort zone term of the season.) It also has the potential of upping the viewer numbers because people who aren't necessarily fans of pop music might tune in. Does this necessarily work? I dunno, but it seems the answer is a qualified no for this season, anyway.
Nevertheless, despite disparaging attitudes towards musical theatre, I kinda liked it. Okay - see? I admit it. I thought ALW was a reasonably good mentor even if his music wasn't necessarily in sync with what this show is about (although, to be honest - what is?)
By it is ironic that two of the best performances of this week were by artists who ended up in the bottom 2. Two others were most assuredly not in the same ballpark but have ginormous fan bases respectively and I guess that is what counts.
My opinion (for what it's worth) for the results:
1. David C., who really did prove he can sing just about anything. I kinda was hoping he would have done And the Money Came Rolling In - or even better, Heaven on Their Minds (one of my absolute favorites from JCSS - and more about this in a sec) but Music of the Night was a good pick for him
2. Syesha, who was totally in her element here with a song from a show that was not one of ALW's most memorable shows (and yes, I did see it when it opened back when dinosaurs ran wild through the NYC subways), and I hope she does more of this kind of stuff (read: with the personality and fun!)
3. Carly, who did her Carly thing with Superstar - and boy was I bummed that she was nixxed from the show after that. A really bad call, imho. The girl can SING, and if the ptb didn't so pigeonhole her (as they try to do with everyone on the show) well, who knows
4. David A. - only because he can sing ballads well (generally), although I find him puerile, repetitive and boring. I didn't care for his arrangement of Think of Me, and I had a hard time thinking of him singing this after having seen/heard Sarah Brightman sing it in the original production.
5. Jason Castro - although I kind of like him with his laid back ways and all, Memory was a weird song for him. I mean - Betty Buckley! Barbra Streisand! C'mon - it's a diva song and no matter what, I wait every time for Grizabella's big notes, which JC doesn't do. And it's hard to think of him as a dying, ancient cat, too.
6. Brooke. Train wreck. Was she right to start over? I guess so, but I wish she never had done it in the first place. Couldn't she have done a folky version of I Don't Know How to Love Him? But...You Must Love Me? Yikes! But...I guess her fan base does.
Now, about JCSS. Reminiscing time. It came out when I was a young teen/tween. ALL my friends had a copy of the album which contained the long, narrow brownish book with the lyrics (and credits) and an artists rendering of the cast. I still have mine, believe it or not! And all of us back then knew the all lyrics by heart. Although Ian Gillan rocked in Gethsemane, Murray Head doing Heaven on Their Minds was (again, in my opinion) one of the most powerful fab songs of the show.
Then again, back then, I also saw Evita, Starlight Express and other ALW shows on Broadway, including Phantom of the Opera, which I saw just a few days after the opening - and a couple of times again after that, including once in London. Lucky me, eh?
There was a season, once in the 80's when I saw everything on Broadway and a good bit of Off (and Off-Off-) Broadway, too. A friend of mine - Anthony Santelmo jr, who is a professional singer/entertainer/actor (who sang at my wedding in between the ceremonies of the rabbi and the priest) did community theatre with me at the time, and he got all of the casts of our shows tickets to see those shows at the incredibly cheap student prices. (I saw Phantom, for example, for $16!) So... if you're in NYC and are looking for fun and fine cabaret, check out his show (if he's not touring with a company of some production or other.) He's a regular at some of the popular cabarets in the City.
Anyway, now that I've dated myself horribly, let's go on.
Next week, Neil Diamond is the mentor. I have to give some thought as to what I think might be good song choices. I had a friend when I was a kid who was a mondo-maniac for Neil Diamond. He reminded her of a boy we both liked. 
Actually, I liked a lot of ND's early stuff, so it should be interesting.
Anyway, I've rambled on enough for now. I'll be back to post more later. About a bunch of things, including (maybe) more guilty pleasures.
Apropos of nothing...
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| Mi Mi Mi
(just testing... )
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| And Once Again...Good morning! (No pressure, as always!)
Ahhhh....it's been quite a while since I've shown my 'model-good looks' face around here, eh? So, okay - let's start off with my usual stuff first, before I get into the (ummm?) other stuff.
Today is April 15th, the IRS' nefarious, infamous personal income tax day. But what else is the day known for, you might well ask - and since you asked so politely (if you did indeed ask) I shall tell you. Today is the day for:
• Rubber Eraser Day  
• Art History Day (who is this guy Art???)
• National Library Workers Day (these folks really 'book'! Get it???!!!)
• The 1st McDonald's opened in Des Plaines, IL in 1995 on this day
• The Titanic sunk in 1912. This occasion made Leonardo DiCaprio a mega star years later in the movie of the same name
• and speaking of Leonardos, Leonardo DaVinci was born in 1452
• Take a Wild Guess Day (Pistachios??? I dunno. It was a wild guess.)
• That Sucks Day (probably has something to do with income taxes. Just a wild guess, but whatever...)
• Equal Pay Day (I guess this is self-explanatory)
And that's about it for now. At least, for the holidays of April 15th.
And now, for some news of my own (with a teeny bit of backstory, which is the norm for me.)
I have a book coming out! Yep! That's right!
It's called Mugging for the Camera and it's a book of offbeat, quirky, humorous poetry. Written mostly in rhyme, traditional poetic form and (of course!) light verse - it's a compendium of weird news, puns and plays on words, life in the 'burbs, food, science and whatever else I felt like writing about. Nothing sacred, ya know? Just all (or mostly all) done in fun.
A few of my pieces some of you might recognize from Xanga's ye olde Daily Haiku (and thanks for the inspiration there!) but there's a lot of other stuff too. It includes poems that were published (and in some cases even won awards!) at Sol Magazine, Trellis Magazine and AsininePoetry, just to name a few.
(Note: some of those awards actually paid $$$ so, I can honestly say I am rapidly on my way already to becoming a hundredaire! No mere millionaire stuff for me! Ha!)
Anyway, I had a lot of fun putting the book together. And in case you are wondering what the title is all about (because, what does a camera have to do with a book of [mostly] funny poetry?) the idea came from the concept of an album of snapshots, which is what these poems are kinda sorta in tune with (to mix metaphors even more.) Originally, I saw the cover of the book as having an assortment of photos of people in funny poses (or, well, mugging for the camera), but a member of my writing group suggested a strip of pictures like the kind you get in one of those photo booths. And voila!
(Thanks, Lisa - and thanks, Laurie, for telling me where I could find such a booth.)
And that's what it is, even if Amazon doesn't have the picture of my book up yet (see the 'Currently Reading') because my publishing company (Virtualbookworm) is at this time, getting it ready for print. (The whole Amazon POD thing slowed things up just a tiny bit, but that enchilada is a blog topic for another time.) Right now, I'm in a celebratin' frame of mind. My book actually should be available within the next week or two. Yay!
So - buy the book!  (You can actually pre-order it now!)
Now then, let's see what else I can tell ya. Oh yeah, Goldfinch!
I belong to a statewide women's not-for-profit writing collective called Women Who Write.
(Side note - especially considering I have a giant picture of an eraser [see above]: We have a large calendar on our 'fridge where my hubby and I keep track (kinda sorta) of appointments, commitments and kidlet activities. I had a WWW board meeting coming up, so I penciled it in the block for that day and date. It said: "WWW Board Meeting, 7:30PM." My hubster then wrote underneath my entry, "Men Who Erase, 8:30 PM.")
heehee
Right. Now back to Goldfinch. I am the editor this year (and was last year, too) of the annual literary magazine of Women Who Write. Submissions are only open to members, but the journal is (or will be) available to the general public for sale soon. We're just finishing up a few tweaks right now - and then we should be going to print. There's some amazing writing in the mag, I must say! I'm really proud of our writers! So...another yay! And if you are a woman who lives in NJ and you're a writer, then check out the website.
Now then, some weird news, n'est pas? In honor of the fact that it is an election day in my town (school board), I wanted to relate a story from Naples, Italy. According to Yahoo News, a man ATE his ballot in protest against the politicians whom people were voting for (or against, I suppose.) In stuffing his own "ballot box", the unnamed gentleman was reported to have said, "all
Italian politicians and politics 'are crap' and that he was
protesting against the system."
Any wild guesses as to what happened next? I bet he didn't just get some pistachios, huh?
Well, I have things to do, so I guess I'll be on my way. Hope your day doesn't suck (despite the holiday) and apropos of nothing, if you mug for the camera, SMILE! 
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| Defying Gravity, Description & Whatever Else...
"When someone tells you something defies description, you can be pretty, sure he's going to have a go at it anyway." -Clyde B. Aster
Hi there!
Well now, it's been a whole year. And some of you might have been wondering (or maybe not) what I've been up to.
Well, I'll tell you.
I've been around, doing stuff. (I'm defying description, right now, in case you didn't notice. I haven't gotten the gravity thing totally mastered yet, but I'm working on it.)
Actually, I have been doing a lot of writing (trying to get published - with some successes but mostly not), and during the school year, I took a job at a mall photography studio, too. I'll get into that in a moment, but first ... Holidays of the Day. Yeah, I know you're waiting for that, eh?
• Moot Point Day (and I would ask what YOUR point is, but, well, ummm - it's moot.)
• Homeless Animal Day ...
• The first Montgomery Ward Catalogue was published today in 1872
• The Wizard of Oz (the movie!) premiered today in 1939
and
• Bad Poetry Day
Wanna 'Xample? 'Course you do.
Spam
Her emails were mostly of spam:
Viagra, a fake mortgage scam,
a Nigerian con and
a contest she'd 'won'.
Too bad all those cheats wouldn't scram. Damn.
Bad, huh? So, ummm, anyway...
Y'know what? I was totally astonished about something: Okay, like, y'know, I was gone for a WHOLE year, and a couple of days ago, I posted a mini-post just saying something to the effect that I might be posting something today (kind of like storm warnings, but with lots of POSTS) - and 5 people left me comments. Wow! Huge! (Well, huge for me...)
I mean, I had read some folks' blogs over the last year, but (rarely) left comments or anything. I'm not even wholly sure why I left this blog up and running. But I did - and some folks noticed. And that is really cool!
Thanks to crackcannon, jkhsquonk, suzyQ_darnit, doahsdeer and ZooTrain. You Zangites rock.
Now for some other stuff - weird news and also, tales of a suburban children's portrait photographer.
Weird News:
According to the TimesUK Online, there are 25 really weird laws from around the world. The original site where I got the link, in case anyone is curious is Fark.com. Some highlights, at least for me, are:
24. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament. (Isn't that redundant? Okay, okay - sorry!)
20. In Alabama, it is illegal for a driver to be
blindfolded while driving a vehicle
17. In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she
wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet. [wth???!!!] 15. In Miami, Florida, it is illegal to skateboard in a police station.
9. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on
Sundays can be jailed
4. In Vermont, women must obtain written
permission from their husbands to wear false teeth
2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals but is
forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination; he may only see
their reflection in a mirror.
You really have to wonder what these lawmakers were thinking, huh?
Anyway, now it's time for stories about the wonderful world of portrait photography.
Actually, my position in the studio was largely to take photos of little kids while trying to chill out their nervous parents, (and I'm not sure why so many of them were nervous, but they sure were very often...) and then put the digital portraits I took into the computer, where I could do a few tricks to enhance some of these pix.
Now, I seldom did any sales because if you actually knew me, you'd know that while I could talk the ears off a donkey (if such a descriptive thing were to be possible) I'm not the type who can easily clamp onto a customers's leg and chew it off in order to try and force them to buy 3 times what they originally were expecting to spend. That didn't mean I couldn't gush over pictures of adorable kids - (and aren't they all?) - but it was just that the money thing was never paramount with me. I admit it - I am a lousy business woman, particularly with someone else's business.
But I'm a good photographer (she said modestly.)
As it happened, the manager cleverly realized this salient point early on, (and besides, I also pretty much told her so, too) so she'd try to pair my photography with the pitch-style of a real gen-yoo-wine salesman (or woman) to get the max from our customers.
What never failed to surprise me was when a parent brought in a kid who was just about ready to burst into tears, (which happened a lot, particularly with 2 year olds) and instead of trying to act silly or whatever to get the kid to smile, this parent would snarl, "I TOLD YOU TO SMILE, DAMN IT! NOW DO IT!!!"
Umm...Yeah, that would work on me. If I were that kid, I'd really want to smile right about then. Uh huh. So I'd be the nutcase to make an ass of myself to get the wee ones going. Just ask my kids - they'll agree that I'm a bit whacked, so it all worked in the end, more or less.
But one story that REALLY amazed me was this: one time, a mother brought in two kids to get photographed. It was a pretty average session, meaning no weird stuff, no acting out, no cry-outs, or difficulties in getting the shots. After this session, which lasted around 20 minutes, there was a delay (for the parents) of about another 15 or 20 minutes in order to edit the photography work and then after that, it was available for viewing on a large flat panel computer monitor.
So, the mother sat down to view the pictures while her two kids ran around the store like little maniacs. She paid no attention to them, whatsoever. While they were running about and pulling things off the wall displays etc., they were also eating all kinds of junk foods and sweets that the mother had in the stroller, which was used (I guess) for the younger of the two kids.
Suddenly, the older of the two kids, who must have been around 5 years old or so, came over to his mother, looking a bit green around the gills, if you catch my descritpitve bit.
He said, "Mommy - I don't feel so good."
You know that when you hear these words, it can never end 'good' - or rather, well.
So naturally, what did this intrepid mother do? Did she say to the salestaff, "Look, I've got to finish this viewing tonight. I have a sick kid." or did she say, "May we please use your bathroom for a few minutes?" ???
No.
She ignored the boy entirely.
So, he repeated his comment, once again, but louder - and more urgently.
Still no attention was being given from this kid's mama.
So, the kid did what any kid might have done in the situation - he barfed all over everything.
Some of the other customer said a collective, "Ew!"
A couple of the people who worked at the studio joined in on the "Ew!" chorus, too.
The idiot mother, however, just continued to look at the computer screen, and she STILL ignored the little boy.
When this all happened, I happened to be in the front of the store (the sales area) in between shoots, largely to see how one of my clients liked the pictures. So, I had a close-up and in personal view of little Chuckie's up-chuck.
Since no one was there doing anything else much beyond saying, "Ew!", I went into the back room, got heavy duty rubber gloves and cleaning supplies and came back to clean up the whole mess.
This well-meaning (ahem!) mom never apologized, never offered to help clean up and never even stopped doing what she was doing to take care of her sick little boy. She never broke stride, so to speak.She did, however, (I think) end up using a freebie coupon to avoid spending any $$$ on what was actually some pretty good portraiture.
Ew.
And speaking of photos, I found this funny oneof the Harry Potter gang...(and it's goth a lot going for it, huh? Haha! Get it??!!)
Well - I have to get my kidlets and the doglet some breakfast, so I'm gonna end with that elegantly descriptive bit for now.
'doahsdeer' left me some 'bad' poetry in the comments from two days ago, which was wonderfully appreciated. You can write some too, if the mood hits you in just the write places.
And apropos of nothing, if you're a woman and you are going to Bahrain, bring a mirror.
See you all soon.
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| Hello!
This Saturday will be one year to the day.
Apropos of nothing, stay tuned.....
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