TheWhisperer08's Xanga

MySpaceBulletins

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 04:58:27 GMT

Gutsy Questions

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Would you tell a stranger if they had spinach in their teeth?
heck yes. i hope a stranger would be so kind to me
If you found out you couldn't have kids, would you adopt?
yes
What is your preferred method of birth control?
none. BUT since that is not wise, I'll stick to the pill
Do you always wash your hands when you use the bathroom?
not always. sometimes i just go to leave the room
If you had to eliminate a single type of animal forevermore, which would you choose?
the liar
Have you ever lied about your age?
yes, in hopes of being left alone
Ever had an encounter with the police?
too many
If you could give your parents one gift, what would it be?
moneymoneymoney
Ever stolen something out of someone's yard?
mmm..no?
Did you ever aspire to be a model?
nah
Have you ever written anything on a bathroom wall or door?
not my style
Do you or have you suffered from any eating disorders?
nope
Ever play 7 minutes in heaven? If so, do you recall your partner?
no. looking forward to that though
When playing truth or dare, which do you choose?
either
Ever open a bag of chips in the grocery store and eat them before paying?
sure. a girl's gotta eat
If paid 10 dollars per day, how long would you go without shaving your arm pits?
5 at the most
Were you an "early bloomer"?
right on time, i'd say
How much will you pay per gallon for gas, before you buy a horse?
I ride my bike or rollerblade, thank you
Is there someone you stalk on mysapce?
who has time for that? not me
If your profile is private... why?
no. I am who I am and I don't need to hide it
Do you or have you watched porn?
duh
Do you wish your boobs were bigger?
no thank you
Have you ever cut yourself on purpose?
came close to it
What's your view on premarital sex?
I gave in after 18 years of waiting. its hard to resist
Are you closer to your mom or dad?
dad
Would you ever take an ex back?
sadly, yes
Have you ever thought you were pregnant?
very sadly, yes
Do you or have you had any diseases?
no
If you were granted one wish, what would it be?
to have a love in my life
If you could, in retrospect, change one thing about your childhood, what would it be?
not being so critical
Have you ever had sex with someone you didn't have feelings for?
no
What song that you have downloaded would shock your friends?
nothing. my taste in music is no mystery
Have you ever taken naughty pictures of yourself?
yes. its fun
If you could change one thing in the world right now, what would you alter?
my relationship status
Are you subscribed to any magazines? If so, which ones?
no
Are you easy to get along with?
too easy to get along with
If you could have chosen your own first name, what would it be?
i like my name. Alcina would be okay
Can you remain friends with an ex?
if they didn't fuck it up then yeah no problem
Have you ever made a fake MySpace account?
no. what a waste of energy
Would you have sex with a dog for a million dollars?
wow. i couldn't get myself to do it if i wanted to
Last person you prank phone called or drunk dialed?
drunk dialed....the last idiot boy i fell for
If someone paid you 1,000 dollars to get their name tattoo'd on you would you?
absolutely. small tat of course.
Do you tend to help others more than they help you?
always
If you saw a wealthy looking person drop a 100 dollar bill, would you return it to them?
no. shaneful, i know
Would you rather be known for saving 300 people or being a pornstar?
i pick-saving lives. geeze
Would you want your future children to date someone like you as a teenager?
yes, i think
Would you rather drive an old, ugly rustbucket -or- a 2009 truck what gets 6 m.p.g.?
rustbucket
If you could physically transport yourself to any place in the world at this moment, where would you go?
to ennis, texas to see a certain someone
Would you rather slide down a razorblade into a swimming pool full of alcohol, -or- get tazered for 5 minutes straight?
tazered for five minutes. i've experience seizure-like episodes so i can handle a tazer
If you went completetly broke would you consider prostitution?
no. stripping, duh.
Do you think downloading music should be against the law?
nope. its too convenient
If you could choose the very last thing you will see before death, what would it be?
the face of the person i love
If you could have personally witnessed one event in history, what would you want to have seen?
jesus resurrected so i have a reason to believe it

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Saturday, July 19, 2008

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 03:54:32 GMT

It kills me.
Literally.
I see trouble when I look at some guys. I KNOW whatever happens will leave me on the outside feeling used.
There's nothing to it. I'll call him on his game. He'll be caught off-guard and stick around interested to prove to me he's not the guy I know he is
He'll tell me things I didn't even know I wanted him to mean. He'll have me. I expected to be had. But even still, I am thrown.
We flirt, we hookup, I try not to buy into the bullshit he wants me to believe is the truth of the person he is. I see all the warning signs. I continue on.
I know what I'm getting into. At the end of the short road, I'm pleasured, deceived, used, a user, a fool...
I do it to myself.
I am an idiot.

Because no matter what I say or what I want to admit to myself, I ultimately want to believe in him and I ultimately hope he will prove he isn't like all the rest before him.

iTunes, MY

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 03:38:40 GMT

Is it just me? I have this thing about my iTunes music. My younger sister put all my music on her ipod. I just so happen to add lyrics and album art to many of my songs. Most of the "lyrics" are actually poems I connect to the song. Most of the "artwork" is photos and icons I associate with the song on a personal level. Aside from how personal the songs are because of what I added onto them, I just feel violated by having someone listen to all the songs I personally selected. Am I just weird or does anyone else feel that way or understand it?

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 03:32:33 GMT

All good things come to an end

proof of purchase

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 01:19:38 GMT

yeah, yeah. it happened to me

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 01:17:41 GMT

Friday, July 18, 2008

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:02:23 GMT

I do not fear suffering. I do not fear pain. What I fear is bliss. Pleasure. Joy. Happiness.
I am comfortable in pain. Suffering is so comfortable. I know them inside and out.

I caught myself thinking back to when we first met. The first day after you kissed me. I was buzzing with joy. Everyone could see that I was somehow different. They couldn't pin it. But I could. I was ecstatic. Happy. Nothing but you was on my mind. Waiting to see you again. Smiling helplessly with every text you sent. Imploding with bliss when you said you missed me because you had said it first and I missed you too.
I missed you too. It was awful and wonderful.
Then eventually, the bliss went away.

Things happened. I worked to see it through. But you gave up. There was nothing I could do at that point.
I loved you in a way. In my way. It wasn't the great love of my life. I haven't had that yet.
But you did ruin me to an extent for all other men.
Not ruin in the sense that I will never have better.
But that I doubt in better existing, or finding it, or getting it.

I trust suffering.
It is real.
It is dependable.
I believe in suffering because there is no doubt about whether or not I am suffering.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:52:55 GMT

Forget it.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:49:48 GMT

Because I want to believe in you, I can't trust you

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:46:17 GMT

THIS ONE GOES OUT TO THE ONES WHO FALL IN LOVE

I've got nothing to prove.
Nothing to lose.
My fury speeds up my pulse.
I am alive.
No more than you.
I've got anger that will keep me up all night and keep me wanting you to keep me occupied.
I am the girl that will light you up only to watch you burn for me.
No apologies. No sorries.
My lips don't spill lies.
Its all truth.
Like it or don't you?
I don't care.