I spent the first/worst part of this week feeling like absolute death.  And then I made it through the IHUM midterm (easier than expected?!?) to Thursday afternoon, the work finished, and like magic everything seemed like happiness and flowers again.  I recovered my self-control and have been eating moderately and working out and sleeping *almost* normal hours...ok, so it's only a 2-day trend, but it's SOMETHING.

...So if I hate work so much (as in the prospect/process of lots of it literally makes me want to give up on life), why the fuck am I at an insanely hard school?

Chi O initiation tomorrow.  Dunno how I feel about that.  After this, I'm in this thing FOR LIFE, yo.  That's a very major deal...I'm committing myself to something for my entire lifetime...and I haven't even thought it through. 

Also all this "secret" rigmarole seems silly and pointless to me.  Who really cares if other people know what we're called between pledging and being initiated, or what the alternate terms for all the officer positions are, or which myth supposedly somehow inspires us?  What's the big deal?  Perhaps I'll have some sort of apotheosis during initiation, all ray-of-sunshine-descending-on-my-head-from-on-high style, and suddenly get it.  Perhaps I'll just have to suppress the snorts of my inner cynic for...the rest of my...life.  (Eep.)

I have this tendency to work myself up into foolishness over irrelevancies, and Andrew is the type of guy who flirts with EVERYONE and his Facebook is irritatingly silent about his relationship status except that he's only looking for "friendship" which gives me bad vibes and who even knows what I'm really thinking (certainly not me).  I don't want to make something out of nothing, because I know I'm going to look back at this and shake my head at how ridiculous and boy-crazy I am.  But I did (try to) sit through a 2-frickin-hour long a capella concert mostly so I could tell him good job so we could have something to keep talking about. However, after the encore and the interminable appreciation ceremony in which basically everyone in Mixed Co got flowers and an adulatory speech from everyone else were finally over, it was after 10:00...and they announce a special number with all their alumni, and that was just the end for me and the Mixed Co concert.  Mission failure (although the concert was really enjoyable...and free :D).  Just my luck, though, who do we cross paths with on the way back to Roble from the DKE Berlin Wall party (borderline between lame, because there was practically noooo one there, and awesome, because of the people who were) but a rather drunk Andrew Chou.  And he's all like Phi Psi and Chi O should have another mixer because that was really fun and you should totally come have lunch at Phi Psi next year and I'm gonna be around Roble a lot more now that I have the time and I hope I see you around...ok, yes, it's random meaningless shit.  I am not my sister, mooning over Kaevan because he gave her a hug.  I refuse to be.  That's just painfully naive and foolish.  But just the fact that he found it worth saying... I dunno.  I promise, all I'm going for now is the chance to be his friend.  Just with the complicating factor that looking at his face kind of makes me melt. 

Let's say he has a girlfriend of 3 years back home in flipping Taiwan (no accent/not fobby...???), and then just be happily surprised if such is not the case.

Aiyyahh, NOT that I would EVER be brave enough, but I kinda wish I still had an invitation to DKE formal to work with.  Unfortunately (although that's kind of a bitchy way to put it) I accepted Kintu's offer like a month ago.