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TheatreDork04
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Name: Amanda
Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Metro: York
Interests: Music (aka squeaking on the clarinet in the Red Raider Marching Band); acting/drama (yes, it's true, I am a drama queen...), and recently, The Phantom of the Opera; anything artisy; teasing people lovingly; driving (Yay for having my car up here this year!); traveling; romantic/funny movies; watching my daily dose of The Simpsons, South Park, or Family Guy; The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart--only the best show on tv; music by U2, Smashing Pumpkins, Ari Hest, Radiohead, Led Zeppelin, & showtunes...I know, I know, I'm such a gay guy at heart); procrastinating (like right now, on my homework); Red Raider/Dallas Cowboys football; being lazy; daydreaming; walking in the crisp, night air, etc. I'm also a member of the best sorority on campus--THETA PHI ALPHA!!!
I'm a sophomore at Shippensburg University of PA, majoring in elementary education.
Expertise: Batting my eyes at cute boys and making them salivate at how incredibly gorgeous and hypnotizing my dreamy blue eyes and my dazzling smile are...yeah right, but that'd be nice! Seriously though, singing, theatre, writing, artisy stuff, thrifty shopping! And falling...anybody can tell you that. So many years later, I still can't walk sometimes! I could write a book on that.
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  TheatreDork04
Member Since:
9/16/2004
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| There are those who shield their hearts, those who quit before they start, who've frozen up the part of them that feels
In the dark they've lost their sight, like a ship without a star in the night
But hold on tight--love heals.
When you feel like you can't go on--
When pain's too much to bear--
When you reach out your hand & only the wind is there--
When life's unfair, when things like us are not to be--
When you feel so small, like a grain of sand, like nothing at all--
--love heals.
When you look out to sea, that's where love will be, that's where you'll find me...
So if you fear the storm ahead, as you lie awake in bed
& there's no one, no one to stroke your head & your mind reels--
If your face is salty wet, & you're drowning in regret--
just don't forget--
it's alright--
--love heals.
"Love Heals" from the musical Rent...
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| Tuesday, March 28, 2006
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"My only Weakness is I Care Too Much.."
Current mood:  crushed
That line is from some song my dad's always listening to.
Yesterday was a bad day--no apparent reason why. It just was...it's
called depression. Fun stuff. It's not my fault, so if you want to
judge me for that--go ahead--that makes you the asshole.
Today
though...wow. Just--the absolute second I let my guard down--BAM! Down
to the millisecond that I convince myself...the situation or the person
is different...
I'm trying so incredibly hard not to be a
grouchy, stubborn bitch given every thing that's happened to me, but it
seems like lately people are just trying to mess with me to mess with
me. I mean, yeah shit happens, but the probability of shit happening
this frequently is not even--I don't know...it's not even possible and
I know that as someone who is completely math-illiterate.
My
problem is that I care too much--if you put yourself out there, people
will walk all over you. I know that sounds so incredibly depressing and
pessimistic, but everything points to that. And, no--not just this one
thing. I wish it were just this. Or just being sick. Or just my mom
dying. Or just being heartbroken left and right by friends, sisters,
guys, family members saying they'll be there for me. Or just being
clinically depressed. Or just being behind in schoolwork. Or just
having a midlife crisis (laugh if you must...I'm serious)--knowing that
people judge you on your appearance, despite how incredibly unhealthy
it was to get there.
My dad has always told me to persevere...and God, am I'm trying...
...this is the quickest it's ever come back to bite me in the ass.
I want more than anything to be in my mother's arms...cuddling with her
at home watching TV...I would do anything to have that again. Anything. |
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| I feel like fleeing again...
it's just too much...
trying to
play catch up w/ schoolwork from the whole semester I've been sick
3/4 of my prof's being asses about it
being exhausted from still recooperating...
wishing more than anything I had Mom to talk to.
There are just so many things I would love to be able to tell her and
hear her opinion about.
She usually had the right answers...
I know this especially from all the times I didn't listen...
It'd be great to have a moment's peace in my room here to be able to think and reflect...ugh.
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| Almost the end of spring break...
Things have been good lately. 
More on the MySpace...sorry Xanga.
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| Grrr. Me & my big mouth.
Had a nice birthday since I last wrote, anyways.
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