God is good! Disappointment comes in all different shapes and sizes and sometimes appears as defeat. One such small disappointment was when I bought a comforter set that I thought had a sheet set with it but when I got home and opened it up to my dismay it had no sheets. Quite honestly I feel that I was not a good steward with the money God gave me and I’m taking it back and Ill either exchange it for one that has sheets or get back my money. Reading the fine print is always a good thing. I saw my two twin grand babies yesterday; they are three months old and are living with their aunt (for now) since my middle daughter cannot assume responsibility for them, or really anything else in her life. She has kept her first child, that sadly enough is not developing as she should because Ash wont spend the time with baby Brandi. Ash also wants to try to have another child, a boy. Having more children wont keep a marriage intact only add more stress and strain to it. Our daughter’s husband, Brandon, is in the Military stationed in Texas and before Ash and Brandon moved away her dad told them to get hooked up with the support that is on military instillations. There are churches, women’s group and who knows what else but Ash didn’t do it. They did manage to get hooked up with some partiers that I am sure have added not much or any value to their lives. Ash is quite good at blaming others for her “messed up” life and not owning up to anything. Unfortunately that negatively impacts my oldest daughter who I think feels some sort of obligation to be her keeper. If being Ash’s keeper would help her I think it would be a great idea, however, apart from Christ no one or nothing will change Ash. Ash can have all the pity in the world, people can roller over when she says “boo” or anything else, but that will not stop the madness. And I use the term madness loosely. Its funny how people with all the right intentions in the world feel that they can change a person. They give and give; most of the time without the recipient really wanting the gift, yet they believe it will help. My oldest daughter believes that if she makes a long and expensive trip to see Ash for the weekend and stays a few days trying to show her how to clean house and manage a budget that things will be better. Ash, I’m sure, won’t follow through with what her sister wants because doesn’t care about it. Ash knows how to clean house and she knows how to budget (or should since she learned in foster care a few years ago). Ash believes that in all situations she comes first which makes her narcissistic. When she was pregnant with her twins she tried injuring her self 3 or 4 times for attention while her husband was off at boot camp. Now she wants her husband out of the military because she doesn’t like it. She doesn’t like the military so she is making life miserable for both of them. The sad thing is that neither one of them have any formal education and no skills. The solution in my opinion is to first pray and pray everyday for her and her family and secondly, don’t be a push over. If someone wants to change there is the ability to do it however, they have got to want it. I can want it 100% for Ash but if she doesn’t, and then it wont happen. As I have said, apart from Christ there is no (rooted) change. Ash is part of a cycle that needs to be broken that was started by her biological mother. Her dad said Ash is just like her mother; self centered, lazy, unmotivated, seemingly uncaring. What type of mother would give up her children for partying and other men? What type of mother would take money over her own children? Allow her own children to be ill feed and taken care of and to go without all while she took care of herself, unfortunately the bio mother hasn’t changed. She had another child that is shuffled around from place to place and really has no grounded home. Children are a gift from God and she be taken care of in that manner. When the bio mother began her decline almost 15 years ago, the relatives looked the other way and allowed the mother to keep on with her damaging ways and not one relative was forthright in court about the children so my husband spent thousands of dollars trying to keep the children away from that awful situation.(Mt y husband eventually got out of the military so he could be around the children more and the mother less. He sacrificed everything, the mother nothing) Gaining custody yes, but the inept judge thought summer vacations and such were good ideas even when it meant the children suffering. If just one of the sisters or the grandparents would have spoken up and told the truth, I truly believe that life would have been much better for all concerned, especially for the children. Everyone is so concerned about Ash and I believe that history is going to repeat itself. Who will speak for the children? Who will care enough for Ash that they are willing to not allow her to repeat history? I hope my husband can impart a few words of wisdom to her because I don’t think any one else has the gonads to do it. We love Ash and we know her and how she uses people and we hate seeing others, related or not, getting sucked into her psychotic world. Some would say that if you help her she would get better or become a better person. We don’t believe it because after almost 7 years of “helping” and "offering" she has no desire to change. We have offered our help numerous times but she didn’t (and doesn't) want it because it did not suit her agenda. We will continue to pray for her and hope that she will be drawn to Christ and will find a good church that studies the Word of God and have the relationship with Christ that will heal her and reunite her with her family. Wisdom comes from God, ask and seek and you will find. | 
