Sharing Quotes

I just finished reading a book, 'Grace Under Fire: Letters of Faith in Times of War', edited by Andrew Carroll.  It was fabulous! (I highly recommend you to read it.) Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying regarding our nation's involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan.  I have opinions; however, I do not know enough, nor have I prayed or studied enough, to feel comfortable and confident sharing those here.  I would like to include an excerpt from the book though.  Food for thought and fodder for conversation.  Either way, I pray we don't forget our guys and gals over there.  I hope that you'll join me in praying for them daily, if you're not already doing so.  Continue to seek to find ways to be a light and encouragement to those facing trials and struggles we cannot fathom. 

"Dear Reverent:

... ever since I volunteered I've felt like a cog in a huge wheel.  The cog may get smashed up, but the machine goes on, and I know I share in the progress of that machine whether I live or die, and that seems to make everything all right.  Except, perhaps, when I lose a pal, it's generally one of the best but yet it may be one of the worst.  And I can't feel God is in it.

   How can there be fairness in one man being maimed for life, suffering agonies, another killed instantaneously, while I get out of it safe? Does God really love us individually or does He love His purpose more?  Or is it better to believe he makes the innocent suffer for the guilty and that things will be squared up some day when those who have escaped sufffering here will suffer, and those who have suffered here will escape suffering.  Sounds rather calculating, doesn't it, and not a bit like the love of a Father.

   What I would like to believe is that God is in this war, not as a spectator, but backing up everything that is good in us.  He won't work any miracles for us because that would be helping us to do the work He's given us to do on our own.  I don't know whether God goes forth with armies but I do know that He is in lots of our men or they would not do what they do.... (italics mine)

Yours sincerely,

Pvt. Walter T. Bromwich

Company A 6th U.S. Engineers AEF"

~~ Excerpt from:  Carroll, Andrew, ed.  Grace Under Fire: Letters of Faith in Times of War.  New York, NY: Doubleday, 2007.   $16.95   pp. 23-24

The End of the Road...

My step-sister, Lori, found out she had cervical cancer in the Fall of 06. They were able to get rid of it from the cervix, but then found out it had spread/changed form into a very rare form of cancer called neuroendocrine cancer. Basically it can affect and grow any where in your nervous or endocrine systems. Long story short, a week or so ago they found a mass had formed behind, and was putting pressure on her heart. They tried to radiate it, but the cancer has grown and basically engulfed her kidneys, liver, pancreas, etc. The docs said she has anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months left. She's only 29 and just got married... well, it would have been 3 months on this Friday. However, my dad called this morning and said that she'd taken an even greater turn for the worse last night, her heart's beating more than 150 beats per minutes and she's really struggling to breathe. They believe she's not going to make it through tomorrow.

As best I can reckon, she didn't know Jesus.  And this is the most bitter and hard-to-swallow pill of all.  It just hurts... I've never seen a hopeless situation before...

Please pray for her husband, Brian..

for her parents, Libby & Rod.. for my Dad

For her sisters & step-brother, Carrie, Kelly, Shaun, and myself

For her nieces and nephews, Darian, Trevor, Draven, Rhode, Trinity, and Lilian

For her in laws, family, and friends...

Thanks yall.  It's been a long road and I've really appreciated all your prayers.

** EDIT** Lori passed away last night, Tuesday, around 7:30pm.  Funeral arrangements are currently in the works.  Thanks so much for your continued prayers.

Lori

It's been awhile since I've updated about my stepsister.  I was I could say it was because everything's been going great, the cancer was going away, and she's in remission. 

Sadly, that's not the case.

At least not yet anyway.

She's a fighter.  It's hard to see how she can stay positive through all of this.  It's not everyday someone tells you that you have cancer, currently it has allowed no survivors, but you need to fight it and we'll do all we can to help you.  She's been through so much in these past two years. 

Two years. 

It's almost hard to believe that it was that long ago she was diagnosed.  And yet it feels like forever in the same moment. 

I can't explain the frustration and heartbreak for her and our family.  Each time the doctors try a different medicine or a different method, the first scan brings exciting news~ there are no new tumors, the cancer has gotten smaller, a few tumors have disappeared.  However, seemingly without fail, the demon returns with a vengeance, determined to rob her of joy, hope, and life.  It's growing.  There are new tumors.  We have to try something else because this isn't working. We're sorry.

In November/December, she received news that her treatment~ generic chemo~ was working.  Lori, the woman who used to think she might never marry, had gotten engaged to Brian Dawson very shortly after she was diagnosed with cancer more than a year ago from this time.  She had decided that if the scan was good, then this would be a perfect time for them to marry.  In two short months the wedding was planned, dresses were bought, cakes were made, and a marriage began.  The ceremony and reception felt like a winter wonderland and it was a beautiful time. 

Two and a half weeks after February 16th (their wedding day) she went in for another scan.  Scan #2.  The historically "bad news" scan.  Hope and pray as we may, this one was no exception.  The tumors are growing, there are more.  It was inconclusive, but the cancer MAY have spread into her bone. If her current form of cancer wasn't already a death sentence, combining it with bone cancer most surely could be.  We won't know this for sure until she has another scan a month from now.  Her "new" treatment is to go to chemo every week (as opposed to every 3rd week).  And to continue searching internationally for another possible medication. 

As if this wasn't enough, she began having MAJOR back and neck pain two weeks ago and was admitted to the hospital.  There they did an MRI and found two, rapidly growing, new tumors. One in her mid-back next to her spine and one in her neck.  These are close enough to the surface that they can attack them with radiation for two weeks and pray they disappear.  If not, the one in her back can paralyze her.  The one in her neck could eventually keep her from swallowing.. or breathing.  The other bad part of this is that while she's having radiation treatments, she can't be on chemo.  Three weeks of no chemo... and growing cancer. 

I have to admit, it's hard to find the hope... the miracle that's needed for her survival.  I've always been an idealistic person trapped in a realistic mind, but with all these circumstances and statistics it's hard to not be anything but morose.  The saddest part of it all is that what seems like pessimism is tragically realism. Don't get me wrong.. I'm still praying wholeheartedly and desperately for the Lord to intervene.  For her to be the first survivor.  For her to be well, have a long and happy marriage, adopt lots and lots of beautiful kids.  But that's a 50 mile long long shot.

But above anything and everything, I pray that she comes to know Jesus.  Without Him, there is no hope.  No promise.  And that's the part that keeps me up at night, that causes my tears, and rips at my heart.  Please continue to pray for my sister.  Pray for healing. Pray for miracles. Pray for salvation and redemption.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

Saint Patrick

Introduction

Saint Patrick

Saint Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland. St Patrick's Day is March 17.

St Patrick is traditionally associated with the Shamrock plant, which he used to explain the concept of the Trinity.

St Patrick's value doesn't really come from the historical details, but from the inspiration of a man who returned to the country where he had been a child slave, in order to bring the message of Christ.

Patrick's life

Patrick's early life

Patrick's family lived on a small estate near the village of Bannavem Taburniae. (This name cannot be placed on any current map of England or Wales.)

Although his father was a deacon, Patrick was not a believer:

I did not, indeed, know the true God

Enslaved by pirates

In his teens, Patrick was captured by a gang of Irish pirates and taken as a slave to Ireland. Patrick came to believe that this was a punishment for his lack of faith.

He was put to work for six years herding sheep and pigs on Slemish mountain in County Antrim. While he was a shepherd, Patrick spent much of his time praying.

I used to stay out in the forests and on the mountain and I would wake up before daylight to pray in the snow, in icy coldness, in rain, and I used to feel neither ill nor any slothfulness, because, as I now see, the Spirit was burning in me at that time.

Escapes after six years

In an escape bid (while he was a captive in Ireland), Patrick stowed away on a boat bound for Britain, and it landed not far from where his parents lived.

Patrick decided to follow his vocation to become a priest, and after a dream he was inspired to return to Ireland.

I seemed to hear the voice of those who were beside the forest of Foclut which is near the western sea, and they were crying as if with one voice: 'We beg you, holy youth, that you shall come and shall walk again among us.

Patrick spent several years studying before he felt ready to take up the life of a missionary.

Returns to Ireland as a Missionary

Patrick eventually returned to Ireland, as the country's second bishop and brought the message of Christ to many people who had never heard it.

As a missionary Patrick baptised many thousands of people.

It was not an easy task. Patrick tells how his life was at risk, and how he was sometimes imprisoned by the local pagan chiefs. We know that Patrick sometimes made things easier by giving gifts to the chiefs.

Poignantly, Patrick also writes of his longing to leave Ireland.

How I would have loved to go to my country and my parents, and also to Gaul in order to visit the brethren and to see the face of the saints of my Lord! God knows it! that I much desired it; but I am bound by the Spirit

But he knew his duty, and remained in Ireland.

Patrick had problems not only with himself, and the local pagans, but suffered from some backbiting by fellow clergy who accused him of seeking to win personal status.

The claim nearly broke his heart, but anyone who reads his confessio will soon realise that Patrick was the last person to think that he deserved any glory for himself.

I ought unceasingly to give thanks to God who often pardoned my folly and my carelessness, and on more than one occasion spared His great wrath on me, who was chosen to be His helper and who was slow to do as was shown me and as the Spirit suggested.

Patrick's writings

Patrick's world

Patrick clearly perceived Ireland and Britain to be far apart, but he also perceived Britain and Gaul to be very close.

Seeing the world like that is as much a matter of theology as geography.

Jerusalem was believed to be the centre of the world and around Jerusalem were countries which were occupied by the Romans. On one particular far-flung corner was the island of Ireland - the last bastion of paganism (as Patrick saw it).

Patrick's mission

Patrick believed that when "every nation" had heard the gospel, Christ would then return, and it seems he believed that he was the person to bring this message of Christianity to the land that represented this "final hurdle" of God's plan.

Patrick's writings

In Ireland, probably towards the end of his life, Bishop Patrick wrote about his life and work in the Confessio.

He begins:

I am the sinner Patrick. I am the most unsophisticated of people, the least of Christians, and for many people I am the most contemptible...

I was taken into captivity in Ireland - at that time I was ignorant of the true God - along with many thousand others.

This was our punishment for departing from God, abandoning his commandments, and ignoring our priests who kept on warning us about our salvation...

Time Passes

I haven't posted in 2 months.  Craziness!  That's not to say I haven't thought about posting. Or that I haven't had anything to say.  Or that I haven't started to write something. 

I simply have too much to say and I can't seem to get my head around it all in order for it to make any sense. 

I'm married. 

I realize that was the focal point of my previous post, but it's still something that seems so amazingly incredible sometimes.  I sit in my office at work and look at a wedding photo of Adam and I and it still almost seems like a dream.  (Especially on days when I accidently leave my wedding rings laying on our bathroom counter.)  I still have to catch myself in saying "our/ours" instead of "my/mine/you/yours".  It's "our stuff", "our dog", "our bed".  Strange.  And fabulous. 

I do not recommend to anyone to try to change everything in their life all at once.  Changing jobs, buying a house, moving across the state to live in said house, getting married... all equally exciting and wonderful things.  All equally overwhelming and time-consuming things. 

So it's January.  Almost finished.  And I'm just now starting to feel like I can breathe again.  I'd almost forgotten what that felt like.  We still have lots of rearranging, decorating, and a bit more unpacking to do, but our house is slowly beginning to look like a home.  Some weeks I work 40 hours, some I work 60.  Between work, church, volleyball, community group, and a grow elective class, I find time to laugh with my husband, watch 'House Season 3' on DVD, and work on our house.  Most recently we're having to try and figure out EVERY vacation day we might possibly take for the rest of this calendar year!

Adam has been amazing and it's been incredible to see, in a small way, how much the body of Christ works together to function with all the members. Just between the two of us, God never fails to give strength to the one when the other is weak, grace when there's hurtfulness, selflessness when one is selfish, a desire to scrub the dishes while the other is gone, and so many other ways of complementing one another.  If I were to try and do it all, I can't even imagine what a failure it would be and what a mess I would make of things.  What a beautiful surrender and freedom it has been to trust and learn to rely on Adam.

I miss family.  I miss friends.  However, that's not anything new~ I've felt this since moving to Michigan. Somedays it just seems harder to bear than others.

 I love Adam.  I love being married.  I can't believe how much I've learned about him in these past two months.  Or what I've learned about myself.  What an incredible blessing! And it's been quite busy with a honeymoon, a Louisville reception, Thankgiving, Christmas, New Years, and an '80s party. 

So, here it is.  A new post. At last. I'll try not to let as much time pass before the next one...

And, you're welcome, Holly.  ;)