It's been awhile since I've updated about my stepsister.  I was I could say it was because everything's been going great, the cancer was going away, and she's in remission. 

Sadly, that's not the case.

At least not yet anyway.

She's a fighter.  It's hard to see how she can stay positive through all of this.  It's not everyday someone tells you that you have cancer, currently it has allowed no survivors, but you need to fight it and we'll do all we can to help you.  She's been through so much in these past two years. 

Two years. 

It's almost hard to believe that it was that long ago she was diagnosed.  And yet it feels like forever in the same moment. 

I can't explain the frustration and heartbreak for her and our family.  Each time the doctors try a different medicine or a different method, the first scan brings exciting news~ there are no new tumors, the cancer has gotten smaller, a few tumors have disappeared.  However, seemingly without fail, the demon returns with a vengeance, determined to rob her of joy, hope, and life.  It's growing.  There are new tumors.  We have to try something else because this isn't working. We're sorry.

In November/December, she received news that her treatment~ generic chemo~ was working.  Lori, the woman who used to think she might never marry, had gotten engaged to Brian Dawson very shortly after she was diagnosed with cancer more than a year ago from this time.  She had decided that if the scan was good, then this would be a perfect time for them to marry.  In two short months the wedding was planned, dresses were bought, cakes were made, and a marriage began.  The ceremony and reception felt like a winter wonderland and it was a beautiful time. 

Two and a half weeks after February 16th (their wedding day) she went in for another scan.  Scan #2.  The historically "bad news" scan.  Hope and pray as we may, this one was no exception.  The tumors are growing, there are more.  It was inconclusive, but the cancer MAY have spread into her bone. If her current form of cancer wasn't already a death sentence, combining it with bone cancer most surely could be.  We won't know this for sure until she has another scan a month from now.  Her "new" treatment is to go to chemo every week (as opposed to every 3rd week).  And to continue searching internationally for another possible medication. 

As if this wasn't enough, she began having MAJOR back and neck pain two weeks ago and was admitted to the hospital.  There they did an MRI and found two, rapidly growing, new tumors. One in her mid-back next to her spine and one in her neck.  These are close enough to the surface that they can attack them with radiation for two weeks and pray they disappear.  If not, the one in her back can paralyze her.  The one in her neck could eventually keep her from swallowing.. or breathing.  The other bad part of this is that while she's having radiation treatments, she can't be on chemo.  Three weeks of no chemo... and growing cancer. 

I have to admit, it's hard to find the hope... the miracle that's needed for her survival.  I've always been an idealistic person trapped in a realistic mind, but with all these circumstances and statistics it's hard to not be anything but morose.  The saddest part of it all is that what seems like pessimism is tragically realism. Don't get me wrong.. I'm still praying wholeheartedly and desperately for the Lord to intervene.  For her to be the first survivor.  For her to be well, have a long and happy marriage, adopt lots and lots of beautiful kids.  But that's a 50 mile long long shot.

But above anything and everything, I pray that she comes to know Jesus.  Without Him, there is no hope.  No promise.  And that's the part that keeps me up at night, that causes my tears, and rips at my heart.  Please continue to pray for my sister.  Pray for healing. Pray for miracles. Pray for salvation and redemption.