i wrote this 4 english, we had 2 do a found poem on the book "great expectations" and i wrote it from the 1 character miss havisham's point of view it got a 20/20 so i figured if the teacher thought it was A+ worthy i thought ya'll would 2 so here ya go

A Cold Memory…

So new to him

So old to me

So strange to him

So familiar to me

So melancholy to both of us

Love is what I speak of

Love is what was thought to be felt

If love is what was truly there

It came like a dreadful plague

A plague that came to break hearts

And have no mercy

A plague that left me hurting inside

Did it do the same for him?

Some days I sit here

And I swear I can almost hear the wedding march play

Almost smell the scent of the bouquet

That was held tightly in my hands

I remember it all

My gown so white

I was finally ready

To walk down that aisle

But then everything went wrong

It’s all such a blur

That white gown now faded

And time forever frozen

Depressed, down, destroyed, despairing

Is all that love left me to feel

No more butterflies

No more happiness

Does it hurt him now

When he thinks about that day?

I wonder if he even cares

I wish he knew how insane I’ve gone because of him

But I guess he’ll never know

Until that final day…

When they lay me dead on the bride’s table

Which will be the finished curse upon him…

comment and tell me how ya like it

<3 Always and 4ever,

*Court

well its been a while since ive written in here but im back! ive been doin lotsa thinkin and takin lotsa bubble baths which mean im listenin 2 howie day A LOT! lol he's really relaxin when u're takin a bath but omg there r these lyrics of his that i just LUV and i MUST share them with ya'll so enjoy!

"perfect  time of day"

It's the perfect time of day
It's the last day of your life
Don't let it drift away
While your heart is still racing
It's the perfect time of day
And you wont feel a thing
And you wont recall anything at all
Close your eyes and take your last breath
Press your head aside, the end is the beginning
Everyone between is so lost, so lost.
Let your colors collide
The time is so fleeting
I quit running behind
Oh, I know your meaning
You look for
For what you want to say
And you look for
The perfect time of day
Wooooo it's the perfect time of day
Come on now
It's the perfect time of day
it's the perfect time with you

"And I'm on...
And I'm on again
Brace yourself
With all that you have
Enough, I'm in love again
Brace yourself
Yeah... "

"Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide"

Well there ya have it the lyrics ive been clingin 2 for the past couple days. They've inspired me 2 write. Again my writing is usually depressing unless its for school and its supposed 2 be happy then yea...lol but yea im gonna post some of my writings they're not really finished i got 2 many ideas and sorta just wrote them all down B4 i 4got them so yea....here ya go.......again i say depressin but i usually write my best stuff when im pissed or upset so yea....

Young girl always did wat she was told
But now its time to break out of the mold
Shes beomming more open
and everyday shes hopin
she hope for better days
And sings songs of praise
Waits for the day when guys wont hurt her nemore
And days when her dreams wont get crushed as soon as she walks in the door
She just wants everyday to be ok
but knows thing can never be that way
there will always be fear
Stupid rumors to hear
She wants this all to end
but knows it wont ever happen
On many days she'll look to the sky
Just want to die and start to cry
Wonder how she does it
puts up with all this shit
Shes getting stronger
holding out longer
not sure how long this'll last
because she is fallins fast
all she asks is foryou to catch her
and to make everything better
to make her smile
And make everyday worthwhile

im feelin like shit and decided id put these quotes in here that pretty much explain how i feel about some diff things

 HATE iT WHEN MY CELLPH0NE RiNGS
& Y0UR NAME D0ESN'T SH0W
i HATE iT WHEN i HEAR 0UR S0NG
iT KiLLS ME L0NG & SL0W
i HATE THE WAY Y0U STiLL SMiLE AT ME
EVEN TH0UGH SHE'S AT Y0UR SiDE
i HATE THE NiGHTS WHEN i'M ALL AL0NE
& ALL THE TiMES i CRiED
i HATE THE WAY Y0U SAY MY NAME
0R JUST THE WAY Y0U L00K
i HATE THE WAY i KN0W Y0U
H0W i CAN READ Y0U LiKE A B00K
i HATE THE WAY i D0N'T HATE Y0U
BECAUSE i STiLL L0VE Y0U S0
i HATE THE WAY Y0U'LL NEVER SEE
& THE WAY Y0U'LL NEVER KN0W..</

maybe sometimes you have to stop
waiting for someone to come along
and fix whats wrong   ..   maybe  you
have  to  stop  feeling  sorry for  your
self and realize that no one else has
the answer  .. sometimes you got  to
            be your own hero

SORRY HUN. BUT UNLIKE YOU, I'M NOT
A DOORKNOB WHERE EVERYONE GETS
A TURN. I'M MORE OF A CASINO. WHERE
ONLY THE LUCKY ONES WIN THE JACKPOT. <like some1 i know only some of my close friends know who i mean

you know you truely care when you have tried to convince youself that you don't <3

there`s this girl in the mirror. i wonder who she is. sometimes i think i know her.. && sometimes i wish i did. there are stories in her eyes.. stories filled with sadness && goodbyes. when she`s looking at me, i can tell.. she`s hurting inside.

It's late nights like this when I think about you the most
listening to that song you sent me and remembering
the things you put me through.
How did I ever forgive you? <fuck u i give up 4given u and fallin 4 ur shit!

do you ever get the feeling where you dont
wanna talk to anyone and you dont wanna
smile and you dont wanna fake being happy
but all at the same time you really dont
know whats e x a c t l y  wrong...

well there are the quotes 4 the day. im pretty much drivin myself crazy and idk wat 2 do. y cant we all go back 2 bein kids again when things were so much easier and ur biggest problem was learnin how 2 tie ur shoes. well im out.....

<3 Always and 4ever,

*Court

woohoo! i added music 2 this lovely xanga "champagne supernova" by oasis i just bought their cd 2day its really good! im goin on a HUGE cd shoppin spree i bought like 6 this week haha im ADDICTED 2 music idk wat id do w/out it......it helps me 2 4get or remember things.....its my release wat can i say? wow im lame, but seriously i really do luv music all sorts ive really gotten in2 emo like MAJORLY as u can tell by my sn here haha but yea.....idk i luv the lyrics 2 a lotta the songs and i can really relate 2 them most of the time.....alrighty well im gonna go write some stuff 2 post up here l8r 4 ya'll 2 read! whoopie! try not 2 get 2 excited now haha

<3 Always and 4ever,

*Courtney

ok so here are some lovely ramblings i call "poetry" that ive written so far this summer.....they're not that gr8 but o well ill put them up here newayz enjoy i guess haha

                                        Such is life

look into my eyes
and u'll see
a heart that bleeds
thats been torn to pieces

Turn around
you'll see my back
thats been stabbed
thats been talked behind by so called true friends

People change
not always for the better
people lie and people talk
but never remain the same

They hurt people they once loved
but in the end did they ever really love you 2 start?
probably not
but who cares?

People change
So you'll find some1 new
You'll open up to them
then they'll leave

such is life right?
friendships change like seasons
warm and friendly the 1st half
cold, harsh and bitter the other

This will never change
This is how we are
too lazy to change ourselves for good
cuz its easier to be bad

one day we'll all realize
nothin was ever worth it
the backstabbing, lieing and stealing
wasnt really worth it

untill that day
we will all suffer
we will all hurt
but hey such is life right?

                                       Love through my eyez...

words are cheap
feelings are worthless
is this how it should be?
people just dont care i guess

They lead on
the followers fall
the leaders change their minds
in the end they never loved you @ all

every moment you were together
was forgotten right away
they move on
while you remember everyday

this is love
it's painful and it hurts
but some get lucky
find someone of worth

someone worth love
someone worth pain
someone to trust
someone to keep them sane

i have yet to find
my someone in this world
so untill that day
I remain a lonely mixed up girl

(last one 4 the day rnt ya'll glad?)

                                    When the rain falls

through the pouring rain
i feel no pain
it all washes away
on this glorious day

all the lies spoken
every promise broken
all the tears shed
every fear in my head

all absorbed by rain drops
that fall to the earth w/a plop
never to be remembered
every connection to them severed

on this glorious day when the rain falls
forget all your pain forget it all
for this is your day to start anew
to become the new and happier you...

ok so i wrote these last night around like 2AM so they prolly suck really bad but o well.......leave some comments pleez id gr8ly appreciate it!

<3 Always and 4ever,

*Courtney