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| You give me miles and miles of mountains and I'll ask for the seaToday is going to be a fun day. :)
My last two finals are on Monday.
Going to Carrollton on Tuesday. I haven't seen Carrollton people in a long time.
My grandma walks every morning at 8. I should join her one day.
Here, I'm trying to fine tune into the meaning of one
I'm either always sharp or flat
The stretching of coils threatening to break
I always end up breaking more than one
Between my fingers, .77,.50,.80 - they're all the same
Colors upon colors with these numbers but I'm never satisfied
Wooed in by the lullaby of chords
Drifting into three and a half momental minutes of pleasure
I pause and pick up another song
I've got an album in production
In other words from this morning, "Start moving your shit." - Andrew
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| I'd rather you hate me for who I am than to love me for who I'm notPeople change. Sometimes they change due to their surrounding. Sometimes they just want to. Sometimes they lose themselves in the process or they find more of themselves. Sometimes they don't realize it. For better or for worse. I can't really think to type. I just woke up from another dream. I don't understand it, but the people in it made me feel very uncomfortable.
I wonder in what situations a person feels more like themselves and don't have to put on a mask just to satisfy someone else.
::EDIT::
I have my first final tomorrow. Wootness. I am full of longan and fried rice again. I went to see my grandma. She's living with my aunt temporarily because of family issues with my aunt and uncle in Doraville. It's nice seeing her. I can see her whenever I want now. It makes me angry how she is being mistreated by my aunt and uncle. She has to take care of their kids whenever if they're there. I don't quite understand why she has to live with her sons and why my dad gets "annoyed" when my grandma lives with us. My grandma says it's because my dad's parents will fuss at him because they can't live with him and why my grandma? I say, "Who gives a crap?" I know it's traditional, but my grandma's children are messed up in their own ways. My grandma was telling me about the arguments and how she misses Ted. She really loves Ted because he's a very obedient and smart kid for his age of only less than two years old. She was crying when she was telling me things and that made me cry. I can feel what shes's going through, but I can't do anything about it. I can't even really talk to her in Chinese because I don't know enough and it doesn't make sense. Lol. *sighs* I suck at being an Asian. I was raised up in a community that's not minority dominated...Caucasians. Assimilation. I need to go study.
Lustly love is different from passionate love.
I'd rather be in love passionately and deeply rather than to be in love by obsession and more of physical attraction.
Nothing is ever too late. It just takes time.
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| In a world full of people, you can lose sight of it allToday is my Dad's birthday and I didn't even know until my mom said something to me. I dislike Chinese calendars because I can't read Chinese and birthdays always change on the "American" calendar. Bought him a red velvet cake and butter pecan ice cream.
The woman that wanted me to date her son came back tonight. When she left, my mom was joking with me and said that the woman did want me to marry her son. Gosh dang, I'm already pushed off to marriage? Haha.
I made a 90 on my French test. That made my day. I thought I was going to get somewhere between a high C to a low B range because I only studied an hour for the test and that was before the class. I was lucky. :) I'm not going to do that again though. Lol.
I am drained. I had only five hours of sleep again last night. I'm running on 10 hours of sleep in total, the past two days. Someone messed with my clock. I didn't notice that it was set an hour backwards. My alarm on my cell phone went off at 6 and I silenced it, but I didn't look at the clock. I went back to bed and woke up later and looked at the clock and it said 6. I was thinking, "That can't be right." I thought I was losing it or something, that the paint fumes finally got to my head. Lol. I need to change that so I won't be confused in the morning again.
DCI is this Saturday. I am going and no one is stopping me! I kind of wish I marched with Corps Vets. *sighs* I had a spot on the snare line. That would've been a great experience for this summer. I'm thinking about marching tenors for this year. That was my first choice before snare came around in high school. I was put on snare because of my size. Going to Carrollton next week. I wonder who I'll see. Christyan is supposed to come to GA this weekend too. :) It's going to be great!
I haven't driven much this summer. Furthest I've driven in my car, minus Carrollton, is to Acworth. I absolutely have no where important to drive to. I don't have much of the driving urge anymore. I guess cause I'm tied down to schoolwork.
My pinky toe on my left foot is asleep. I can't really feel it. <-- random, I know.
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
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| I need to hitch a rideIrrational decisions
I need to stop, you need to stop
It's a roller coaster ride to nowhere
Take your love and hit the road
It doesn't belong here
You don't belong there
I don't belong here
We didn't belong anywhere
I feel like puking, you make me feel sick
It was all a mistake
Just get going
And don't look back
I don't need any more of this
Just get
Love vs. Lust
I do.
::EDIT::
I am tired and feeling weird inside. We're done painting the our rooms and moved back in. My sis and I changed up the arrangment of our rooms this time. Mine is totally different and the look of it hasn't quite set in. I'm not sure if it will. Lol. Change takes a while for me to get, but I'm learning. It's still a total mess in there though. Probably sort out things tomorrow after work. I still have paint on me and I've scrubbed myself down twice today. Right now, I have to correct my French writing assignment and have to read for History.
I'm frustrated, upset, twinge of happiness, stressed, confused and most of all, drained.
I don't want you to talk to me if you can't even have the courage to say the truth. You're wasting both of our time. I don't want you to talk to me if you can't say that you're true to yourself. Who are you living for?
Just think about it.
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| Humor meI'm tired. I've had only 5 hours of sleep. I think my left hand is swollen. My whole family is awake and now we're getting started on painting. My bro was thinking of changing the trimming paint and I told him no, because I spent like three hours or more (I lost sense of time) on my own trimming last night. So today is paint, go to work and homework. This week is going to be interesting. School and painting. I think my parents' room and this bonus room is going to be a killer to paint because they're big. *sighs* I kind of wish there was an invention where if you put a dab of paint on whatever you like and the paint will spread, just like ink pens, and then the paint will be stopped by the strips of magic tape when it reaches a point. Haha...highly imaginative, but would be cool.
It started with a joke
Cup of tea, if I may
Two spoons of sugar please
It was going to be a long night I thought
But I surely did not mind, I smiled
We had our conversations on things
Such as ice cream, pies and Starbursts
We fidget here and there
Quick glances, one ear to the other
Awkward silences
How are you? after a moment or two
Just along the way
So here goes the random texts
Yes, you say
Ok, I say
Let’s go paint a picture in the sky
And hear the rickety swings too
Snap some black and white pictures
They seem to fade on Polaroid
I bought you some roses
Left them on your car
In front of your door
In your hair
On your windowsill
But the lack of H2O took them away
Cold nights and hot chocolate
Books of all sorts couldn’t distract us
No wonder I failed out of edumacation
Surely, we laughed and cried
Had our bouts of x’s and o’s
You said no more
I said ok
We said love
It was in the clouds
The wind took it away
It was in June
Must’ve been the hurricanes instead | | |
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