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TikimanFiregod
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Name: Andrew
Country: United States
State: Tennessee
Metro: Chattanooga
Birthday: 4/25/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: I love the out doors, fishing, hunting, hiking, camping, tree and rock climbing, swimming, boating, you name it.I really really love reading books especially old classics like Ben Hurr, The Black Arrow, Count of Monte Cristo and am a LOTR and I'm a StarWars die-hard.I love to write and am currently writing a book or three of my own.I love to cook, it's really not that hard to make really good food if you have a little bit of sense and some good ingredients, or (being in college) even half-way decent ingredients.I love music, I can sing and though I can't play anything worth a flip I love to listen to those that can.I love movies too; watching and critiquing them (afterwards of course; people that talk during someone else's first time seeing a movie drive me crazy).
Expertise: Building fires and playing with/making fireworks! Climbing trees and reading good books. I love talking but I also love just listening to others too and I keep secrets better than the grave. Also, at least according to my house-mate, I'm a really good cook.
Occupation: Student: English Lit major wit
Industry: I currently work construction
Message: message me
AIM:  chasing425
Member Since:
7/31/2005
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| I AM DONE!!! Having finished my last test about two hours ago I am officially done with this semester! Hooray! I am so glad it all over, it's been a really hellacious semester, but y'know what's weird? I can sit here, and look back on it, and honestly say it was a good semester, hard as hades, but good. I've been pushed, and pulled, and broken eight ways from Sunday this semester, and I have failed to live up to the pressures and responsibilities like I should have. I have failed my professors, my friends and family, and my girlfriend. But I've also learned so much. When I look back on my actions I can see where I chose wrong, or allowed exhaustion to breed confusion, apathy, and selfishness. I can see where I failed to help my girlfriend, where I was selfish or failed to lead and plan well enough in our relationship; to keep my actions, or inactions, from causing her extra stress, where I put unnecessary pressures on her because of my selfishness or laziness. At the same time though I feel like I can honestly say I did my best, I fought so hard this semester, it just wasn't good enough. It never is, and never will be. It is by His grace and strength alone that we make it through this life. I cannot speak in words what He has done for me this semester. How He has forced me to rely on Him even more fully. How he has blessed me through friends and family, and through Melanie. So many times when I was completely a drained after sickness and/or ministering to family and friends she was there to minister to me. I don't think I would have survived this semester if it weren't for her. Not that I would have committed suicide, I would never do that, but I think I would have been such an emotional and physical wreck I would have had to drop out of college. Perhaps I overstep my bounds. I will not say God could not have gotten me through it all, just Him and me, but I am inexpressibly thankful that He brought Melanie into my life. Even the extra stress of caring for her while she has been sick has been a blessing: to minister to her and meet her needs has been such a joy. Caring for her has become my greatest source of pleasure and satisfaction. Y’know what else? I’ve learned a ton academically too. The combination of taking Western Civ II and Brit Lit II at the same time provided me an even deeper sense of the details of history and the gradual flow of it, of the story of the western man humanity, of his growth and development. My grasp of history was already deep enough that I never bought or read our textbook and I’ll have an A or B in the class, but I’ve immensely enjoyed seeing more clearly how the events affected the philosophers and writers, and how the philosophers and writers affected the events. If it’s any sign of what I’ve learned in Advanced Grammar this semester, or any consolation to Dr. Impson, the moment I got on here to type this out I saw how atrociously written my last post was (that’s what I get for writing when exhausted), and became so OCD, I had to fix it right then. (On a personal note: Dr. Impson, I was parsing sentences in my sleep last night!) Now begins the summer. This week I will be clearing house, washing clothes, paying bills, seeing returning friends, and saying goodbye to those that are leaving. On Monday I leave for NJ for a week. First I’m taking Mel to meet my Aunt Debbie and my Mimi, and I get to meet her immediate and extended family at her sister’s wedding. On the 19th we return to Chattanooga long enough to repack and fly to Slovakia. I shall return by the 1st of June for family vacation, and some much needed sleep. And then I shall spend the rest of the summer working my tail off because despite how hard I’ve worked this semester it still won’t fall off….maybe I should talk to a doctor about it… | | |
| I need to post......but I haven't had the time.
I have had several thoughts for posts: a couple things to rant about, a couple things to share, but I just haven't found the time. I'm almost done with all the work I have to do for school so soon I'll return to the world of xanga, but not quite yet.
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| PoemI've been working on this for a few weeks. Feeling it out--no, wrestling it down to paper, trying to make it work and express what I felt. I'm not sure if I'm going to add a third stanza or not, but here it is: Deep to my soul it clings, A wordless thought I cannot speak A heavy tangle of feelings which I've wrestled for many aweek. As verbose as I can be, Still my tongue fails me. It's not quite depression That eats and eats away in me: A pent up frustration Oh so slowly poisoning me. It sickens to the bone as I struggle alone. | | |
| Time ManagementA friend asked: "Query: Are we, as Christians, required to do our best in everything we do?"
And this was my answer:
"I
think that we ought to try to do "our best" but that "our best" doesn't
mean our best in everything. We live in a world with responsibilities
and consequences and we have to do our best to balance everything out.
You can spend tons of time on any one thing, such one of several papers
or HW assignments, and do really well on it but that means doing not as
good on something else so one most apply the principle of diminishing
returns because there is always a certain point where, because of lack
of sleep or whatever other reason, that the amount or improvement
gained is no longer worth the amount of work put into a project. When
you reach that point, or because of time restraints before you even
reach that point, you have to say "I've done my best to put good work
into this and balance everything out and I only had x amount of time to
work on this so I'll trust god with whatever the consequences are."
and move on to whatever project is next."
What do you think?
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| Dreams Dreams
are funny things and for years I had no idea what to make of
them. Are they are gifts from above? Are they the
out workings of my inner thoughts and my subconscious?
A pointless amalgamation of the random sensory data my body
collects while I sleep? Or the newest theory in the
scientific arena: my mind's attempt to process the data piled up
in my short term memory and learn from the day's experiences;
simply a method of sorting through everything so can my brain
can log important stuff away in long term memory and forget the rest?
I have come to the conclusion over the years that sleep is all of the
above. At
times I have relived the events of the day before and seen them
in a new light as I slept. I have dreamt events and
conversations that, knowing myself and the people in the dream, never
happened but very well could have. When I have been burdened
greatly by some thought, prayer, or desire my dreams have given voice
to that stress in one way or another. I know that just as my
writing often reflects my subconscious and semi-conscious thoughts,
feelings, and beliefs, so have my dreams. At times I have been
able to label each of these occurrences, each of these uses
and purposes for my dreams but several times in my life I
have been left wondering, without ever really making up my mind
fully, if certain dreams were gifts of spiritual insight that I
should heed. I am always hesitant to assign such divine
weight to my dreams but I sometimes wonder if I should be. If my dreams encompass and incorporate all of the physical, mental, emotional, and psychological elements of my life then why not the spiritual too? Though as human beings our need for physical rest is the most
obvious reason and purpose for sleep Scripture
promises that God will speak to His children in dreams and visions.
In
Scripture God speaks in dreams that seem to be baffling
riddles until explained by His chosen servant (Joseph, Daniel,
Samuel...) to both kings and peasants alike. Throughout the history
of Israel we are told that the men of one family or another, one
tribe or another, had dreams and visions or were good at interpreting
them. (I have often wondered if there is a distinction there or
simply two names for the same thing.) On the other hand God
seems to almost always speak to His servants directly. If He
doesn't speak vocally to them in their waking hours He
speaks to them with spoken clarity in a dream, or sends an angel
to vocalize His message in waking or in sleeping. There
have been times in my life where I have heard God speak to me with
audible clarity. At times I have listened to Him and to my eternal shame
at times I have ignored Him. As far as I know the only dream,
given to a servant of God, that was allegorical and thus left
open for interpretation was Joseph's dream about the twelve sheaves
of wheat and sun, moon, and the twelve stars bowing before
him. The only other time I can think of where the
recipient of the message is confused as to its origin and meaning is
when a very young Samuel hears God calling his name and
thinks that it is Eli and Eli tells him, until the third time, he
is dreaming.
These
two events give me encouragement and frustration at the same
time. They leave me wondering if God is speaking to me subtly and even directly but
I am missing it. They encourage me that perhaps I am right when
I think there is more to a dream, that I should take the spiritual
hints, or obvious overtones, in it very seriously. And yet
since
I lack the overwhelming conviction that I have recieved a message from
the Lord that is seen in almost all of the Biblical occurances I, perhaps like Eli, can't help but wonder if it really was "just
a dream" and if I should "go back to sleep".
I
wish I knew for sure whether there was more to a dream or not. I
wish there was some authority I could turn to, but almost everyone I
have ever heard talk about dreams and visions was either completely
naturalistic about it, ended their discourse sounding as vague and
undecided as I already felt, or sounded like a complete nut that based their
beliefs off personal feeling and not scriptural evidence. Maybe I’ll
ask some of the Bible professors here. I really respect several of
them for how well they have thought through all the various ways to interpret things even if I disagree with them on exactly what they choose to believe. I guess aside
from asking them, my parents, and pastor, the only thing to do is
what I always end up having to do, wrestle it out for myself: search
the scriptures and ask the Lord for answers.
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