Tina421amazing's Xanga

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 11:33:49 GMT

Arrive the city of Kimchi. Seoul,Korea.

I am so excited when I saw there is a couple of computers in the hostel. cuz I can play!!! Just kidding. My mum told me that I cannot use computer only-.- poor me~However,I think I'll type it everyday in here~
Yesterday,the time went away so slowly,really slow. I mean,it just like......ar,slower than my pace. haha~^^ god,I got a stomachache all day long. It was a really tough day for me. However,I feel much better now~ We played model event on that day. lots of people were there. At time,I realized I am not the only one who loves orienteering,they are all the fans of orienteering,that was a great feeling. We walked at a slower pace,that was because of today,we played the sprint distance today~ therefore,we have to save our energy. About the meal,the lunch was 6500 won,that means it was about 72 in Hong Kong dollars,quite expensive. oh,yes,and I think it was disgusting,cuz on the top of the noodles,there was some moving stuff there,it moves because of heat?? I don't know~ -o- Just horrible...... About the dinner,we cooked in the hostel by ourselves,just three of us. The others went to eat outside.

Let's talk about today,the sprint distance. It was in the Olympic Park~ It was quite big and beautiful actually!! I will upload the photos later on. For the result,it was not good,not good at all. I fell down because of the floor,it was "sweat" everywhere. The Hong Kong Team took all three places. They used only about 13to15 minutes to finish the game. About me,well,about 35 minutes. T.T Anyway,never mind. They are Hong Kong Team,I am not. I am just who I am. And that's enough,I'll be better,but I just want to be myself. The better me will be in the future,waiting for me.

I have to go to sleep now+.+ It's already 0030a.m. there~ Also,the long distance event is waiting for me tomorrow~+o+

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 10:24:05 GMT

My Fear

I had already surrounded by the darkness.

I can't see.

Nor a hope of a light,nor a thing for me to lean on.

I can only feel the wind.

I can hear they blow with anger.

Seems like they are stopping me to keep moving forward.

But I had to.

Although every step that I take could be the last,

I have to bet.

A precipice is in front of me,maybe.

Or,perhaps a switch of a light is in front of me.

I can't loss my courage.

I have to bet it's a switch.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 10:07:23 GMT

Miss the childhood sometimes. However,it is no longer be here. I can only see it from the others.

This feeling is so femiliar. Not delving,not yearning. Just focus on the things that you are doing. No more other request.Cuz the happiness is already around you.

When do we know it is the time for us to grow up? When do we know how to let go? When can we walk by our own? The sea is in front of you,the future is in front of you. Do you have the courage to keep walking,without taking the parent's hand?

Look around. You can discover more than you can imagine.

It is not just the sea in front of you. There are peoples around you. You are not alone.

It might be so dark during the time that you are on your way to the destination. However,don't let the pressure frighten you. Don't let it explode before you get there.

Since the sun will be back soon.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 12:48:58 GMT

Can I be who I am??

I saw a blind man today,at that time,Gladys and I were on our way to ice-skating. Everytime,I felt moved while I saw this picture. Seeing people to fight for their own,fight for their future,fight for their life. Even if they lost something that is important for them,they still keep fighting for it.

Every next steps he will make seems an unknown for him,but he didn't fear by the darkness. He used his stick to detect what's he gonna do next.In fact,he already had a map in his mind,all he've got to do is follow his own map. --Do we have a map of our lifes?-- He didn't ask for any help,even if someone tried to help him,he didn't let them. He said "It's ok,I can do it myself.". Although he seemed a little bit stubborn,but he was so strong,he knows exactly what's he gonna do,so he had the ability to do the things that he had plan before.

Can I be the same as him? Can I be who I am? Can I do what I planed? Do I have the determination that he does? I don't know. Maybe. I don't even know am I myself anymore...If only I can trust myself...

P.S. It's been fun today,I enjoyed the ice-skating a lot~ ^^

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 13:32:52 GMT

At last.

Finally,I cried yesterday. I felt much better after that,much better......I don't remember when did I cried last time,maybe it was already a long time ago.It was refreshing,I must say. It is preferable than sports sometimes,it really does. When you feel so hopeless,you might want to express the feelings inside you.Doing exercise is not the only way,cuz after doing the exercise,you will feel tired,but that deepest feeling is still inside you,it's HOPELESS. That's why we need to cry sometimes. It is not because of we are weak,oppositely,we need to do that to make us much stronger than before. Yesterday,during the last lesson of the school,our class teacher,Ms.Chan told us how to prepare for HKCEE,how to control our time to get a best performance. She also told us the pressure is made by our own(is it?? I don't know). She had even shown us her certificate's copy(she is a doctor,you see),I guess it was for increasing our morale. Does it work?? I have no idea. I just know that I want to cry so much while she was speaking to us. Too much pressure,you see. Perhaps the pressure was made by me,I don't want to find out.

"No matter what happens,no matter how tough the future will be,I will keep going,I will keep living." I promise myself.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 13:08:51 GMT

Have a look@@

Ok,let's talk about another things. I've done a stupid thing today,I mean......okok,not a stupid thing,cuz I learn it from TV,they turned a table into a person,it's action just like picking up something from the ground~

SEE***I've turned a chair into a-----human^^ It just like sitting and want to hug someone at the same time. I felt quite amusing when I sat on it^^

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Thu, 15 May 2008 08:49:44 GMT

I've been thinking......

Everytime when I want grab something,it disppeared.

Everytime when I looked at it,it changes.

I can just grab the air sometimes,something left me when I want to take it. It just gone,through my fingers.

Silence and hopeless are on my side.

Somehow,I thought miracle would come to me,but it just there for a second,then it passed me away.

Why? I'll find out someday.

When will this day be?

Maybe till the flowers are open,the kite is up to the sky.

Who knows?

A song for everyone."Save the best for last"~

OK~ Let's talk about today.I played "Scrabble" at school today,it's been fun. I enjoyed it a lot^^

Se~e

Lastly,hope our country could all be together as one,could get through this suffering after the earthquake!!

I know we can,because we are Chinese.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Sat, 03 May 2008 10:34:59 GMT

What do I want to say?? I have no idea...

Don't know what to say...... However,I want to type something in here~ Everyday seems the same. Why? We have to do everything in a same way,do everything in a same method. It reminds me of an ant,they do the same things in each day,in a same way.They walk around all day just to find out the food they need. It's a really sad thing...but on the other hand,we have some little things that we missed,and we didn't notice about. That is the little things that made us smile,made us laugh.

We just focus on the things that we don't want to face;force on the things that make us feel sorrow. Why? It's that just because of we want to do better;to improve ourselves? I think if we think like that,we'll always feel say,we'll just keep finding the things that are always not good enough. Then there'll be a hole inside our heart as always......

So,why don't we focus on the things that make us smile and laugh? For instance,an ant can force on the happiness that it had when it found the food,but not on the hardship that it had on finding the food.

What makes you smile?

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 08:50:28 GMT

What day is it?

Happy day? Or sad day?? I don't ever know~ I went to orienteering today,it was for the selection of APOC.Anyway,it doesn't matter. There was just only one girl,or maybe two actually. The matter is,I was sucked today.Maybe it is because of I haven't go to orienteering for such a long time~ I nearly want to cry,however,I didn't. Somehow,I am much stronger than before......Anyway,I think I can go to APOC in this summer hoilday,it is in Korea~I am really looking forward to it~

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 10:29:08 GMT

Feel so bad---

How many mistakes that I have to make? that I can finally rerealize I am done,I am finished? Plz,wake up,open your eyes and see how useless you are right now. "I know." I told myself to work hard last time,but I didn't do it,I am really not hard enough,and I know it. What's going on with me? I want to die sometimes, especially lately,so unhappy... I want to cry endlessly,I want to scream out loudly,but I can't.

This is reality,you have to live. You have to keep going,keep living,or else,you die. I think I finally know why the people would suicide,cuz they thought they don't have a choice,they felt hopeless at that time. They didn't know what to do,so painful... Thay don't want to ask for help,because they thought the others can't help them,or they thought they don't deserve to get help. They can't think of any reasons of living in this world anymore. That's why they die. I don't want to be one of them,so I've gotta keep moving,no one will stop for me,even time.I know it.Anyway,feel much better now~ Talk in here next time.