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| The IRS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his
attorney. The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment which you explain by saying you
win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable." "I'm
a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about I do a
demonstration?" The auditor
thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead." Grandpa says, "I'll
bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The auditor
thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite
my other eye." Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he
takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,
with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. "Want
to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks "I'll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in
between." The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks
carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly
manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the
desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't
make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty
much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with
joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. "Are you
okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This
morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet
me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee
all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it." | | |
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I can give you at least one reason why it is important to learn English when you live in America ...  |
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| Happy Fourth of July Everyone! | | |
| My car was given a clean bill of health yesterday. : ) I brought it in for an oil chance and the mechanic looked over the engine for me and said that everything looks good, there's no rust and reassured me that the breaks are fine. : )
Things to do today
Move things in my room around
Laundry
Work on my Sunday School lesson
Get together a box for the yard sale tomorrow
Weed through more of my clothing and tossing things I haven't worn in over two months
Clean out my purse (I think that's worse than cleaning my room! ; )
Get my two saddles, tack box, and other boxes out of my car
THEN clean my car, maybe even washing the windows
Dishes, and because it's my dish day they'll be a ton of dishes! 
Vaccume
I feel like there is more, but it's slipping my mind right now. | | |
| I fear that my Xanga is slowly dying... I've had it for so long that I don't feel right just killing it. But I never feel like it's worth blogging here. Only two people I know ever check this site. And who knows how regular that actually is.
I never have the God fearing, God honoring posts that so many of you seem to so often have. I never have anything of interest or worth saying.
But I've finally realized that God isn't going to condemn me for not saying anything about Him on my Xanga. Especially when I don't even feel comfortable talking about Him around my closest friends.
I'm still loyal to Xanga. I will never use Myspace because of all the crap I hear about it. I do not want to associate myself with that world. All those young girls (almost knowingly) getting themselves into things they shouldn't. Boyfriends posting unwanted pictures of their exes to get back at them.... Granted that's not all there is to Myspace. There probably is a good side.... But who cares? (And sorry Facebook, your just boring!)
I'm sick of feeling like I need something profound to say.
With that said all I can say is this.
Rainbow Rats! | | |
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