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| this summer....well this summer consistes: -a vaction to georgia to see the family. -summer school for the past 3 weeks -working from 1pm-6pm each night -partying with saudi arabians on the weekends -workin out with my cool roomate allison -waiting for my niece to be born!!!!!! -also waiting for a float trip with my co-workers in southern missouri next month! -quit drinking soda -learning how to cook -tryin not to spend every dollar I have Its been a pretty preductive summer, figuring out things about myself and how to live on my own. Yeah i'm just not doing this when i'm 22, but we all have different times and I finally enjoy it. I've always dreamed of working and having my own apartment, but being in school I've never been givin the oppertunity, but it will be over in 2 months so i'm tryin to kick it as long as I can! There is nothing that exiciting in my life right now, but you know what I think I like that. I've def missed talking to all ya'll and hope to hear from you, maybe I can get back in the groove of this thing! | | |
| update......well, I'm sitting in the library waiting for my email to show up anytime now. I have had an assignment due since 10am this morning and haven't been able to print it off yet. The email system has been down and acting dumb and taking FOREVER...thus I haven't been able to print out my paper. I have every intention of getting a new server for my emails! I'll let you know which one I choose. But the good part about my day was the fact that I woke up in time for class.....it was so nice!!!! Then after all my classes I got to go to work and oddly enough I love my work and the kids while bad at times are so much fun. I'm suppose to go trick r treating at around 7 with tiff, walt, ashley and myself...we will see how that works out. I really miss my nephews today cause all the kids were dressed up and we watched the wiggles...lol how odd am I? Life in general is goin ok. Working through a lot of issues that I've never dealt with and that's exciting and the cool part is I'm finally depending on God to do it!!!!! Can't say that I don't feel like quitting school, I thought about it last night. Hopefully I won't but we'll see! | | |
| some may concider me a...you know to be honest I don't know what others think of me. I started by writing a bunch of bad qualities about myself, but really that's what I think of myself right now! I know I have been those things and to be honest I don't mean it. I can blame it on my past and sometimes its valid, but that's something I need to deal with on my own time. I'm tired of letting it rule me and I'm def. tired of taking it out on others! There is so much to appologize for and I want to, but I can't. I have to sort stuff out and learn what it is that is killin me inside in order to let things go! I love my friends...everyone has been put in my life maybe at different seasons, but they are all meaningful to me and I hope that I show it cause if I don't I'm sorry and I'm tryin to fix it! Bare with me and things will get better, not by my own doing but God's! | | |
| self-worthYeah, that's right I stuggle with it...ALOT. There are many things that come and go and that I find myself to latch onto. It's funny cause the realistic thing would be to depend on the only thing that I know is everlasting, but here I set letting things build up inside and completely distroy me AGAIN. I have gotten through a lot and it's nice to say that I have something to live for, but day to day the struggles get me down. I don't wanna act like no one else goes through this cause I know we all do. It's just I have to find a way to express myself! I have been collecting abstract things to add to a painting I will be making soon and since I've never done one like this I'm kinda excited. I think rather then dealing with the things I let attack me daily, I should release it in a productive way. I have been in this funk for a while now and get extremely tired of it. I know God will break me soon, I just have to wait for it!!! | | |
| what is it?do you ever feel like your standing still and everything around you isn't real? you know it is cause it's there, but its like you can't feel its realness. i feel like that now. we went to chicago this weekend and it was great. we hung out and saw megh, mark, alisa, and shion. we saw a lot of chicago and did a lot of it the cheap route. it was great fun, i ended up doing an assignment of mine in the mac store downtown cause they had free access so that was productive. we also went to china town which is not very big in chi town. we also met a lot of homeless guys and that was cool to have some insite. and we saw a 4 car pile up in downtown.it was pretty eventful so thats good times. it was a refreshing weekend, but it looks like that wore off. i miss akira!!!!! | | |
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