|
| I Had Forgotten Holiness
For the last two or three years I was convinced that the most important aspect of God was Love. I would purposely read the Old testament far less because I knew that it has more incidents of God's wrath and judgment. These passages were the ones my Berkeley peers would criticize Christianity with, showing that God is in fact "heartless". I knew the theological answer was that God is not only loving but also just, but I also questioned how God could in fact destroy entire people groups for little apparent reason.
Now I know the issue of Grace vs. Holiness is very apparent in the different sects of Christianity (Reform Church Vs. Emergent Church), but I do not want to make my point upon these distinctions. Instead I want to compare the way I lived my life. My Christian life has been characterized in obeying the 2 greatest commandments: to love God and to love others. But the "love" that I aimed at was mostly a feeling. The Christian life was to feel the presence of God and try to live in it. Now, I still agree that this is a vital part of the Christian life but there was also something vitally missing. It was and is the Absolute Hatred of sin.
In the past, I viewed the sins I committed as one time things that were road blocks in my Christian life. But upon further reflection and revelation I realize that GOD HATES SIN. I realize I am absolutely 100% wretched. I realize that in order for me to continue to grow in Holiness, in Christ likeness, I must understand the weight that my sin carries. It is an absolute offense to a perfectly HOLY God, who has perfectly HOLY laws that I have deliberately disregarded and disobeyed. It is this rebellion that makes the CROSS so amazing. It is not some wishy washy sin that everybody has so it's not so bad. In order to pursue God I must despise my Sin and pursue Holiness; for God is Holy.
Alright, now the disclaimer. This revelation is a personal one and I by no means condone myself or any other man to condemn others of their sin if it is not done in love. I also do not consider myself a converted Reformist or did I ever consider myself part of the Emergent Church movement.
I found this to be very interesting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuabITeO4l8
But I do not agree completely with Paul Washer, but he does speak a lot of truth.
| | |
| "Before history is written down in books, it is written in courage. Like Americans before us, we will show that courage and we will finish well. We will lead freedom's advance. We will compete and excel in the global economy. We will renew the defining moral commitments of this land. And so we move forward -- optimistic about our country, faithful to its cause, and confident of the victories to come."
-George W. Bush State of the Union Address 2006
We as Americans strive for the American dream. We strive for freedom. We strive for prosperity. We strive for excellence. Our ideology is set upon moral high ground; to bring freedom, to bring democracy to the world. And yet our dream, this American dream, is blind and selfish. We assume that the very best thing for all other peoples, regardless of culture and situation, is freedom. Freedom, as defined by Americans, is the individuals right to pursue whatever it is that he/she wants. And yet we fail to see that most societies are based not on individualism but collectivism. In fact, we hardly understand the people we invade nor do we even care about them. To us, American lives are of the utmost importance while Iraqi or Afghan lives are for the back pages of the newspaper. And yet we justify ourself by using rhetoric like: "leading the advance of freedom" and "Protecting American lives". But America's dirty little secret is that it's prosperity is tied to the oppression of others. The American dream captivates the heart of our nation, but takes captive dozens of third world countries.
We as Americans need to take the effort to understand our world, not blindly following freedom and democracy. America has taken the moral high ground ordering the world how to live in order to boost its own economy. America's economy is helpless without exports for China and oil from the middle east. Let us not declare our independence but rather our dependence upon humans that share this world with us. Can we listen to them? Understand them? Care for them? Sacrifice for them? Let us redefine our dream so that others can thrive as well. Let us live for a dream not based upon material possessions and comfort but based on character and sacrifice. Freedom then is not the ability to do whatever we wish, but the ability to do what is right and good. America needs to stop recklessly striving for victory and start striving to Love it's neighbor.
| | |
| it's a terrible feeling to be incapable of doing what you know to be right and good. the bad inside you eats away at you, but the good is even worst. it tells you everything you're not, hypocrisy that is tangible. the exact place the liar wants you to be. self-pity, self-indulgence, helplessness. Everyone of us, in some area of our lives feel this. whether it's the inability to love others or the inability to trust God. But we cannot believe the lie. We are not helpless. We are free if we choose to be. I am discovering the beauty of choice. If I choose to be tired after work then I will be. If I choose to be unhappy then thus I find myself in that way. We are empowered by more than just good feeling songs and community; we are powered by the very spirit of God if we choose to be.
| | |
| it's been a while. but I can explain. while I was gone, something was blocking me from seeing you. but all that matters now is that I'm back.
so since I've been gone for quite some time here's a brief update:
I am back from China! I live in Oakland now. My new number is 510-410-8936
I'm looking for a job. I would very much like to see you! (assuming that I know you, and well that I like you, lol) So lets catch up ya?
-Tim
| | |
| I know that Gd hears my pryers; so many of them have been answered; and yet I still struggle to pry. Normally, when I pull all my strength together and pry for something nothing seems to happen. Perhaps that's because those prayers are mostly selfish; haha or perhaps it's because those prayers are about girls. It is the daily prayers that he seems to answer. The ones that get answered and I think nothing about it.
Some pryers that were not answered:
1. That I could sing like Brian Mcknight.
2. Okay Gd, If I get this piece of paper in the garbage can then I should ask this girl out; oh wait that last one didn't count.
3. When I pryed for the garage door to open because it was stuck.
4. when my ankle was sprained I pryed that it would be healed and I tried to jump up and down and then it still hurt.
5. I pryed that Gd would significantly change the Berkeley campus for himself. (hasn't happened yet)
Some pryers that were answered:
1. When I was in elementary school my mom pryed for that I would have good chrstian friends. Gd answered that pryer in High school when I formed a Bble study with some friends.
2. When my sister had a blood clot in her brain that miraculously disappeared
3. when I pryed for my dad's walk with Gd and he brought our family 2 hawaii
4. When Gd brought a whole dorm full of students to know him through broken language ability
5. I lost my wallet one time and pryed that Gd would bring it back, and sure enough I he did! (short $20 though)
6. I was prompted to pry for my dad's health, only to find out that he was almost 1 minute away from meeting Jsus but realized that he was bleeding severely.
7. a brown paper bag with 一万美元.
It is a given that you will be heard in pryer, the real question is: will you listen? When I think of the average situation in my life, the result is the last things that I think of. It is how I felt in that moment, it is the peace that I received or the lack there of. It is the guidance and the soft words, that do not necessarily give an answer, but deepen a relationship. That's that I want. Results? sure? Experience his Will and Heart? That is my aim.
| | |
|
