so i haven't written in a while. and i know why. it's not that i don't wanna write anymore. it's just that things have been a little complicated lately. i don't know what happened. but it's like things just got worse. like last nite. i didn't sleep at all. why ? cuz we were arguing. acutally more like fighting. it was so horrible. it never got that bad until now. why MNI ? but i should know why right ? because You plan for these things to happen so that we can find out why they happen. that's why everything happens for a reason. so that we can learn from it. but this is not what i want. never. we've been through so much shit already. and enough is enough. i try to prevent these things. but relationships can't go on without obstacles. without obstacles, people can't learn from each other in their relationship. everyone makes mistakes. it's part of life. i know that. and i do take the blame for the wrong i did. i accept it and i will learn from it. i hate arguing like this. i love him so much. no one will understand it. i don't think he will either. and i know he loves me too much. i know it's meant to be. everyone knows when they're meant to be with someone. he's been so good to me. and i would never take him or his love for granted. i don't think anyone will ever understand our love story. even if we try to explain them what happeend with us they will not understand. i'm with him because i wanna be with him. not just because he loves me so much. i chose to be with him because i'm happy with him. he's the one i want. and i have him. i thank God everyday for having him in my life again. he is what i've been missing all along. i have no doubts about how i feel about him or my love for him. and i hope he sees that. i love making him happy. all i want is for him to be happy. he means so much to me. and i would do anything for him to be happy. because he's my #1.
4TH OF JULY just totally amazing..with my baby janel&tiff. well most of it. but the difficulty part was worked out. it was ALL worth it in the end. we didn't get home till 1am. but i loved every moment of it.
1AM - JULY 5TH janel and i are sitting in my car in front of my house. and then that special moment happened where he asked me out. yeah...i know it wasn't much. but who cares right ?? as long as it happened it's all good. i loved it. and i love him.
i spent my new year's eve just right. jeremy and i went to hollywood and spent new year's eve there. we bought a new year's hat and tierra. and then we watched a band play while being stuck in the crowd with 7,000 people. when it came to midnight...i got my first new year's midnight kiss. amazing. i absolutely loved it. this was the best new year's ever. and i started the new year with happiness. 2006 was awesome...but 2007 will be even better.
