| we went to eat at wild wings downtown tonight.
i forgot to ask for no tomatoes in my chicken wrap,
and i freaked. i started crying and even after i picked all of them out,
i still couldnt bring myself to eat it.
then they played the song that they played at jessica's funeral
my night was officially shot.
i need to go to the doctor. im really scared of what im capable
of doing to myself. |
| |
| she's gunna die.She’s been trying to make a comeback and she’s been doing damn good so far. But its like every time she gets to a new high she gets kicked in the face. told wrong, told to stop. she’s not right she’s all wrong. she’s not depressed. well ok maybe she is. she’s not a horrible person, she just lets everyone down. she’s not a mistake, she just doesn’t want to be here. she’s not suicidal… if she wanted to die, she would have killed herself a long time ago. she has self control – plenty. you can tell by the way she eats. she’ll drown herself in her favorite songs and forget about the world. she wouldn’t want you to feel the way she has, so she doesn’t flood your ears with her troubles. she just wants you to read between the lines so she doesn’t have to tell you what she wants you to already know. she’ll pull her hair back and drive away. feeling worthless for telling you off. she’d start the trend, but it’s too late… someone already did. she’d stay the night but she knows they don’t care. she can’t decide between what she really is, and what they think she is. oh she’s a wonderful actress. not the Hollywood type, more of a statement kind. she wants to hold you higher and take your pain away. she can’t see him jeopardize his life because he can’t have what he wants. he tells her she needs to, but her body says don’t. tired. physically. emotionally. mentally. stop. go quick. slow down. pace. walk. run. jump. dazed and confused. warped and twisted. she can’t fix everything. she’s scared to say how she feels. if he really knew, he would just leave. She’s self-absorbed and too self centered. she can tell you how to solve your life but can’t even find a single piece to start putting her own together. if she wanted silence, she would just whisper. if she wanted to be alone, she would just leave. if she wanted what she wants, things wouldn’t be this way. things aren’t as easy as they seem. she’s got big dreams but no self-esteem. I guess it’s like reaching for the stars when you can’t find your own arms. she knows the ones that suffer the most are the ones that don’t know what they want and she has no fucking clue. your mistakes are supposed to make you such a better person well she’s got this big huge list… why is she such a failure. her priorities are just other peoples options and she doesn’t feel at home. she gets worked up and doesn’t wanna be here. she misses the happy girl she used to be.
hold on. Because the sky is falling.
and you’ll know when it does.
she’ll be the first person that comes to mind. |
| |
| she's trying to make a comeback, doesnt know what to do.
she thinks thin, they think healthy.
he says he wont think shes beautiful
she wants to be tiny,
but cant decide between him
and feeling beautiful about herself. i dont know what to do.
im so confused. i miss you guys...
im gunna try to post a lil something tonight. |
| |
| Harsh words & violent blow
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
And then she jumped
and her fragile bones were broken
but don’t worry.
she’s been dead for a long time now. im glad that you guys are happy to have me back. i should be posting more and more. since ive been gone for so long, i forget to post. but let me get some stuff together, and ill make sure to publish it! love. |
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