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Tobias_Avajir
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Name: Josh
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 6/19/1988
Gender: Male


Interests: My dream is to become a famous writer. Even if it is after death that i finally get my recognition. I just want to be remembered.
Expertise: Writing, massage, outdoors, RPing, and more...
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other


Message: message me
AIM: sirrus88
MSN: tobias_raji@hotmail.com
Yahoo: sirrus1988


Member Since: 5/3/2004

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Sunday, May 08, 2005

Today my girlfriend's best friend's father passed away. I was at my girlfriends house when it happened. He died of the same causes that my mom did. Drinking, and a messed up liver. And it was in the same way as well, without warning. When my mom died, I was in California and she was in Oregon. They called me and told me she didn't have long. So I got booked on a flight that same day, but I didn't make it in time. The same with the girl's dad. I won't name names. But he just took a dive for the worst, and suddenly, he was gone. I held my girlfriend as she cried for a few hours. I myself cried as well because of all the memories that it brought back. So she went to stay with her friend to comfort her and I went home. Which is understandable. But I've met her and she's a good person, I wish I could help. But I don't mind. This all happend the day before mother's day and that kind of freaks me out. Maybe fate is trying to tell me something. But what? I'm so confused I don't know whether I'm happy that I finally cried about my mom since her death, or sad that other's have to go through the same pain. But yeah, I'm sorry if I'm a little off for the next week or so. It's been stressful.


Thursday, March 17, 2005

Everyone lives in the same world. Yet everyones world is different. My world is an abstract maze filled with poetry, art, and a little mexican girl I fell in love with. I find most things about life trivial these days. There was a girl who wanted to commit suicide because no one was paying attention to her during a class lecture. They're not supposed to pay attention to her. They're suppost to pay attention to the teacher. Dealing with these people is pointless to me. Humanity complains to damn much. I complain about humanity so I'm a hypocrit.(sp?) But I'm fine with that. People say, "I never asked to be born." Well I say, "but you were born. The question is, what are you going to do now that your here."


Thursday, February 10, 2005

Well I guess I should update again because I'm finally commenting on other people. The internet is probably the only way I can communicate with other's now that I live in Chino Hills and most of my phone time is taken up by work or talking to Liz. I was supposed to be Oberon in A Midsummer Night's Dream but those bastard administraitors said I can't because I don't go the same school. I'm gonna miss my tech shop. And my green room. And my tools, and stage, and theatre, and techies, and actors, and actresses,a nd everyone. Oh well....it's not like I'll never get to see them again. On other news, Liz and I are still going strong. 4 months on the 16th. We're gonna try to double date with Emily and Chandler on Saterday. It's funny because Emily and I used to have feelings for eachother and Chandler and Liz used to be friends with benefits. Quite ironic if you ask me. Should be an interesting date. I saw Liz just a little while ago and I miss her already. But I can see her on friday and saterday. I hope she likes the valentines gift/anniversary gift i got her. (Shhh...it's a secret.) I get enrolled in Ayala tomarrow...*looks at the time*...I mean later on today. Should be fun. I'm thinking of going with the mysterious first impression. With my black jinco's, white dragon shirt, and my billowing trench coat that people oh so love. I've grown out my hair and will continue growing it. I can now touch my nose with my bangs. I can't wait till it gets really really long. All in all things are going good. Finally rid of my old family. My asshole of a father tried choking me so I left. I hope the rest of you are doing well and I will try to keep in touch. I'll also update more....I think.


Wednesday, October 27, 2004

I'm booked for the next month. This weekend I have work so I can earn some extra cash. The next weekend I'm going to my friend Emily's school's play, Julius Caesar. The weekend after that Liz and I are going on a camping trip, which I can't wait for. The weekend after that is Sara's b-day and the reason why I'm making money this weekend.


Monday, October 18, 2004

I was posting in an extended discussion forum on one of my sites and someone had posted a link to this story. I think it makes a lot of scence and teaches a good lesson. Even though I don't believe in heaven or hell it's still a good lesson in my opinion.

 

"The Difference Between Happiness and Suffering"(Two Dining Rooms)


Long ago there lived a boy who learned about heaven and hell while working hard at learning the Buddha's teachings. He meditated in the front of his Buddha image, wondering "What is hell like? What is heaven like? I want to know more about the difference!"

That night, he dreamed of a Buddha. "Hello, little boy," the Buddha said to him. "You asked to know more about heaven and hell. First, I will show you hell."

In his dream, the boy was taken to a blue door. As he got closer, it opened without a sound. He carefully stepped through the door, and inside was a dining room. He saw a beautiful table with delicious-looking dishes of meat and fish and piles of fruit spread all over it. It was the most wonderful feast he had ever seen.

"How could this place be hell?" the boy wondered.

Then, suddenly, appearing out of nowhere, ghosts began to gather. Restless and impatient, they were unhappy and scary-looking. The boy had never seen anything like them before.

When all the ghosts were finally seated, they picked up their chopsticks. The chopsticks started to grow, becoming longer and longer and longer, until they were all a yard (a meter) long. The ghosts tried to eat with their long chopsticks, but they couldn't. Even when they could pick something up, they couldn't put it into their mouths. They tried again and again, but it was no use. Frustrated, they started getting upset and fighting with each other.

Suddenly, the back doors of the dining room opened, and a large gaping black hole appeared. Mealtime was over. The ghosts were still very hungry, but they disappeared into the dark hole.

The Buddha turned to the boy and said, "You look so sad. Now let me show you the dining room in heaven."

Quietly, another door opened to a dining room that looked exactly like the room in hell.

"What's the difference?" he wondered. Just then, happy-looking people started to quietly gather around the table. "But how are they going to eat with those same long chopsticks?" the boy asked.

After sitting down, the people began picking up food with their very long chopsticks and, instead of trying to feed themselves, they began putting the food into the mouths of the people sitting on the other side of the table. They took turns feeding each other, giving the other person whatever they wanted to eat. They enjoyed the meal so much!

"You see," said the Buddha gently, "the rooms are the same. It all depends on your heart. Your kindness makes heaven."

The boy nodded and said, "Thank you so much for showing me the two worlds. Now I understand. The difference between heaven and hell is in the hearts of people themselves!"

The Buddha smiled and said good-bye to the boy, just as he awoke from the dream. But he never forgot the teaching, and helped many other people to find the difference between heaven and hell.



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