new xanga

new xanga this one is depressing with the name and all

time and time again i think how could i possibly have done better.. than i realize hey you know what fuck it.. i've fucked up many many times in my life and have dealt with so much shit that im losing all care.. sure alot of u will say oh look there he goes again mopeing about shit.. well u kno what, most u fuckers dont even know the shit i've been thorugh and how i grew up.. oh and of course some of u others will say who cares how u were raised u can change all that now.. well its real fuckin hard to get rid of some old habits..

i've also been thinkin about the waste of time all my so called good friends around this piece of shit neighborhood were to me. they aint fuckin friends.. as soon as i quit one fuckin thing they all fuckin ditched me like i was some piece of shit.. they dick me over all the time because there to fuckin caught up in there damn addictions.. it really pisses me off.

i dont know where im going with this entry.. alls i kno is im too fuckin lonely and depressed about so much shit im starting to lose hope in all my closest friends and family.. im losing hope in myself more than anything.. im afraid i might go back to the way i was when i was a fuckin nutcase.. but i kno i cant cause thats the reason i lost what was most important to me.. and if one more mother fucker tells me to get over it i swear to god ill cut a bitch cause that it something i will never get over.. and i will never stop blaming myself for all those i fucked up with that someone..

alls i kno is if i ever find another girl that i feel that strongly about i wont ever do anything to fuck it up.. and thats a message for all u people who are in love.. dont fuck it up cause u'll regret it everyday.. every time u see something reminding u of that person it makes u want to lose control because of how stupid u acted.. hold them close to u for as long as u can.. u never kno when they'll all of a sudden vanish.. never to be seen again.. sure maybe a little chat but ull never get to see the beauty that u crushed so long ago..

this entry prolly makes me sound crazy and doesent make much sense to people.. im horrible with words.. im just venting...

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I HATE WARMINSTER>..... ALOT!!!

i talked to her today it made me miss her again.. im always seein stuff that remind me of her i hate it.. its tough when were really not even friends anymore..  i guess thats what she wants though............

haha NARNIA is amazing.. everyone should go see it cause its pimp as shit.. needed a lil bit more blood and gore.. yea thas pretty much all i have to say..

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