| New Years SUCKED. I hated it completely, I apologize to all those people that were over here, it is not your fault. I just felt like crap the entire night basically. I really hate my life entirely to tell everyone the truth, but I would not be surprised if everyone already knew that. I just...I don't know, I want to say so much, but I can't, because of her, because I fear that it will make her dislike me more than it seems she does now. I love her so much, and yet, I'm meaningless to her. That's what makes my life suck, that and the fact that I can not stop hovering over that. I can not move on, I wish I could, but...that goes along with the many wishes that will never happen..ever. I think I am depressed, at times I can seem fine, and at others I can seem incredibly EMO, I guess would be the correct term, although I don't and never will do most of the things that those people do, no offense to them. I hate how I try to be so nice to everyone, and people like me for it, atleast for the most part, but than, I'm still pretty much..nothing. I don't care about much, at all. only her basically. I only wish I could have that one person, that would change everything completely, it would change me completely, but she's told me I have and never will have any chance with her. It pisses me off to be honest, it makes my life have no purpose at all, and the thing is, it doesn't matter, I don't care. I would much rather die than keep living like this. I hope the person that I'm talking about doesn't read this, I don't want her to find out how it is, she's happy, or so it seems, I hope she is. I'm going to go, I believe that this is a long enough entry that most likely no one will read it, maybe a few people that are extremely bored, but that's all. I'm sorry everyone, goodbye, goodnight.
Trevor... |
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