So how do you get the attention of a girl who gets frequently asked out by a bundle of other guys? How do you set yourself apart from the other guys? I wonder how the girl feels and what is she thinking of when she’s being asked out all the times. Does she get uncomfortable? Annoyed? Excited? Flattered? Am I going over my head for being interested in someone that is highly desirable? Probably out of my league? Ok, I am just comforting myself when I said probably…she’s definitely not playing in the same ball park as I.  It’s like seeing the beauty of a rare flower on the edge of a cliff from the other side of the canyon and there’s no way across but to jump over the 100 meters gap...and I got no wings. Nevertheless, I want to try to make the jump as impossible as may seems, but the problem is while I want to take things slowly and befriend her first I worry if I don’t ask her out soon some other guy (some? no…many guys) will and then I might ended up losing any chance I might have.  Maybe I can get creative with the way I ask her out and that will set me apart from everyone else? How should I approach this??

**Edit: So it turned out  I don't need to jump anymore cause someone else already has the flower. I asked my friend about her and I was told she's seeing someone now. How do I feel? disappointed? hmmm...slightly but at least I don't have to wonder about it anymore and I am happy I got to meet her and befriend her...she's a nice person.

Over the weekend there was so much I wanted to write about (mainly reflection on Wing and Jenny's wedding) that my brain was going to burst open for not writing it all down any sooner. After the wedding I was absolute certain that I don't ever want to settle for love. I don't want to get married just so I don't have to be alone or can only give away half my heart, I want to get married because I have found my true love and want to commit myself wholly and completely to her. Wing and I are kind of similar in this way, we both know we can be SOOO much more, so much stronger, so much better of a person/boyfriend/husband if we can be with girl of our dream. It’s not fair to the girl if I can’t be 100% for her. From time to time I have thought about getting back together with one of my ex…she’s a great girl…cute, sweet, we connected on many levels plus she likes me a lot and think a great deal of me…I thought if I have to settle for someone she could be the one because I thought we can definitely get along and live together in harmony…but there is something missing…every time when I am close to wanting to get back together with her I feel like I am giving up on my dream and I am call it quit…throwing in my towel. I don’t feel complete when I am with her even though she has so many great qualities and any guy would consider themselves lucky to have her. I don’t understand it very well myself…I think she’s a wonderful person and I care about her but I am not in love with her.

It's not that Wing led me to want to believe in true love…I have always believe in true love and long for it…it's just that sometime I am just not sure if it could happen to me…maybe to other people around me. But now because of Wing and Jenny, I am starting to be more hopeful…that even I can find true love if I just wait for it like he did…that if I am patience about it, it will come.

Disclaimer: Warning! Ultra sappy from this point on…read at your own discretion.

I want to be so in love that I will give her my all and hold nothing back. I want to look into her eyes and know that my love for her is true and there is no doubt behind my glance. That I will gladly live my life with her and for her…that I want to protect her from all harms…that I will never stop looking at her with wonder. To love her so much that I know I will stick by her side no matter what life throws at us. I don’t want to do anything out of obligation because it is what I am supposed to do and not by my own free will…not whole heartily. I think if I can be with the love of my life…my dream, everything I do and every thought I have of her will come straight from the heart and it will be pure love. And it would not be an obligation for me to be affectionate and loving because it is what I want to do. That's the kind of love I am looking for and wanting to give…one pure and honest love…true love.

I have heard of a lot couples complain about losing freedom being in a relationship…that I should enjoy my single-hood while I can. To me, I don't see freedom that way…I don't see freedom as in having as many choices as possible. I feel I have freedom when I can do the things I want to do the most and when I am truly in love…there is nothing else I would rather do than to be with her and make her smile. When I can love unrestrictedly then I can finally taste freedom at its fullest.

Lastly…I met someone that has caught my interest over the weekend. By the act of God…I was able to talk to her a little. She is very beautiful and my initial thought was like "wow…I didn't know Chinese girl can be so beautiful" I always thought the most beautiful asian girls are Japanese and Korean. (although there has been many cases where this opinion of mine was proved wrong...I am Chinese myself) She seems to be the outgoing type and very sociable…I am hoping we can get to know each other somehow some way…the thing I am not sure about is how hard I should try to get to know her or should I just leave it up to fate? I want to change myself…I don't want to come across as being overbearing, too eager, unstable, or even desperate. I want to take extra precaution because I really don't want mess this up if I even stand a chance.