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TrinityKia
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Name: Krisheena
Country: United States
State: Washington
Gender: Female
Interests: I love to go horseback rididng (when I can). Anything just about goes. I'll try almost anything once. If I don't like it, you'll know! LOL
Expertise: Not much for expertise.
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/9/2004
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| Back...again..lolSo once again, I find myself looking into the mirror and wondering what the future holds for me. I went from living with a leach...yes, he was and will always be a leach...to being a single mom living back with her parents. And I somehow find myself falling in love with another man. It's been almost a year since I walked away from my fiancee.
And 8 weeks ago, I meet this wonderful man who, sadly, had to leave all too soon. He's currently fighting our forgotten war in Afghanistan. 1 week after we met, he shipped out. So now I find myself as a military girlfriend. A single mother, who has fallen head over heels for a man that is on the other side of the world. I find myself struggling to get through each day despite the fact that I have a promise, from One so much bigger than the world and wars, that he will in fact come home to me. I don't dare watch the news or read the newspaper for fear of breaking down in front of anyone. I have to be strong for him. He stares death in the face, invites death to his door every minute of every day, being strong enough to stare it down and turn it away. And then there's me, who projects a vision of strength, but who is in fact, so weak. I shouldn't be afraid every time I don't hear from him, or doubt that he'll be home. But I do. Every night, I fall asleep after wishing on every star for the one thing I want most in my life right now. And that is for him to come home safe, to me and my son. My son, who has called him "Daddy" for the last 5 weeks. 2 weeks after this man left, my son started calling him "Daddy." Every time I get a phone call from him, the baby looks at me (as the phone is ringing), reaches out his hands for the phone, and yells at me "Daddy!" And the most amazing part, this man is willing to be with me and understands that when he gets me, I'm a package deal. He gets the baby too. He knows this and still wants to be with us. Not just me, but us. That in itself seems like a miracle to me. 8 weeks...only 8 weeks. But I guess when given the choice to fall in love, you don't question it. And as the anniversary of 9/11 comes with the dawn tomorrow, I pray he is safe. I pray that he knows he is loved. And I silently serve in the ranks of waiting wives, fiancee's, girlfriends, and children. The masses will never acknowledge those like me who are only the girlfriends of the soldiers. But our hearts and souls are invested into every single one of those men and women over there, fighting a war that has been overshadowed by other things of this nation. We may never get the chance to meet who our loved one works with day and night, but because of their closeness to the ones we love, we in turn love them.
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| It's definately odd thinking that tomorrow is the fourth of JULY! Which means that I'll at least get to let loose a little bit. I guess not too much because of the baby, but a little fun will be worth it. Miss everyone lots and can't wait to make it up there! Talk to everyone later! | | |
| Heavier ThingsIt's
been forever since I didn't think about that someone that I should not
be thinking about. I can't seem to help it...and it really
sucks!!!!! I don't want to think about him! I'm supposed to
be happy with my life and when I think about him, I feel like I'm not
being happy like I should be! I have a beautiful baby boy and a
fiancee I love more than anything and who loves me more than
anything. I should be happy! WHy CAN'T I BE
HAPPY!!!!!???????
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| What the F!I
swear that parents were put on this earth to make their kids' lives a
living hell on some days. Here I am, 21, living on my own, my own
child to take care of, and my dad is still trying
to tell me how to live my life and pass judgement on me if I don't do
things his way or if I do something he doesn't like. Is he ever
going to give up trying to control me? For God's sake! I
don't even owe them anything money wise or really anything else, except
for the fact that he does help me keep the car running. But no
matter what, he's always passing judgement on me. Who is he to
judge me? It's not like I still live under his roof and have to
follow his rules. I live on my own with my fiancee, of course,
and I now have my own rules that I live by. I don't tell him
something that embarresses the heck out of me. Who would? I
only told my fiancee because it involved him! Personally, I think
it's none of my dad's business or anyone else's for that matter, what I
do, what kind of trouble I get into, or anything like that unless I
choose to involve them or tell them! Please, someone tell me if
I'm wrong! I swear that if it wasn't for his grandson, I wouldn't
spend so much time at their place. But they love their grandson
and heaven forbid that I deprive my dad of spoiling his grandson.
And he can't get over the fact that he's going to be a
step-granddad. My fiancee has a 7 year old little girl that,
whether my dad likes it or not, comes with the family. He can't
get over the fact that I'm getting married to a guy that already has a
daughter. He is just so judgemental. IT's driving me nuts!
I'm not really an angry person, but he just seems to do it for
me. And it doesn't matter what's going on...it seems like he'll
find a reason to pick my life apart and then proceed to tell me what's
wrong with it and how I need to fix it. And they're not
suggestions, they're "this is how you are going to do this and this is
how it's going to be" type of "suggestions". Will he ever get
over his own insecurities about his life and stop projecting them onto
me? I don't have the life he does, and I pray I never will.
But with the way he pressures me about everything, you never know....
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| - Headstrong & Before I'm DeadGoing crazy"Moon hangs around...A blade
over my head...Reminds me what to do before I'm dead...Night consumes
light...And all I dread...Reminds me what to do before I'm dead...The
sun reclines...Eats my mind...Reminds me what to leave behind...Light
eats night...And all I've ever said...Reminds me what to do before
I'm...To see you...To touch you...To see you...To touch you...Epochs
fly, reminds me...What I hide, reminds me...The desert skies...Cracks
the spies...Reminds me of what I've never tried...The ocean wide salted
red...Reminds me what to do before I'm...To see you...To touch you...To
feel you...To tell you...The sun reclines, remind me...The desert
skies, remind me...The ocean wide salted red...Reminds me what to do
before I'm...See you...Touch you...Feel you...Tell you..."
"Strapped down and heavy...Tied up and bound...This weight I
carry...This weight I've found...So Let...Me be the one to say...I've
really had enough...Downfallen on (or maybe down, falling?)...(Yes, you
meant the world to me)...My sweet love...So headstrong...Strong...Watch
me fall...One time too many...You let me down...Won't think what could
be...Can't feel much now...Downfallen on...(Yes you meant the world to
me)...My sweet love...So headstrong...(Are you)-this is whispered and
hard to pick up...Strong...Watch me...Change this world inside of
you...Change this world inside of you...Does it really mean this much
to you?...To hide your fear, to test the way I feel...To test the way I
feel...To test the way I feel...To test the way I feel...Watch me
crawl...Watch me break...Watch me crawl...Watch me throw it all
away...Downfallen on...Yes you meant the world to me...My sweet
love...So headstrong...Strong...I can't believe the things you
say...So wrongful how I feel this way...I'm sleeping to relieve this
strain...So calmly, slowly, softly...Just let it all just drift
away...Let it all just drift away..."
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