Currently Listening Rockferry By Duffy Mercy see related

going to hell

I am an exceptionally shitty person

I'm going to hell... a few times over actually

Gahh...

Is it wrong that I knew he had a girl friend and I didnt try and stop his advances??

I mean, he was totaly sober, he knew what he was doing... its not like i seduced him.

And he keeps calling, and texting, and we keep hanging out.... And I keep falling even more for this boy

who I know is obviously NOT faithful, who I know has a GIRL FRIEND,

But whos also absolutly and unbelievably addicting....

He is like a drug... I know its wrong and I know i'm going to get hurt.... Yet I cant stop

I'm an idiot

Grr... What do boys like to do? Alex is so hard to please....

I was supposed to go to Florida for a weekend and New Mexico for thanksgiving w/ Alex and his family but i couldnt do either b/c i had to work. So I want to make it up to him by going on a trip.

I was thinking about getting him a buddy pass and spending a weekend in Jacksonville (I've only been twice since I moved from there in 7th grade). But he wants to go camping. Which I'm totaly up for, except Alex's idea of camping isnt camping in a safe state park type camping ground with trails and nice animals like deer and squirls. His idea of camping is driving up into the mountains, backpacking into the wilderness and setting up in the middle of NO WHERE where there are bears and wolves, w/ only a tent, sleeping bags and matches. I like my little portable gas camping stove and camping shower, thanks.  He also wants to bring all his guy friends.... I'm sorry but being the only girl, surrounded by 5 big sweaty wrestler guys at a campsite w/o a shower seems like it would be kind of smelly and not so fun.

Shana and I tried to be all adventurous today and walk home from work in the dark rather than taking the bus to w/i a block of the dorms, but that was sort of scary. I dont think we'll be doing that again any time soon. I'm soo sick of being scared to be out passed dark in Atlanta w/o my big scary 6'4", 200 lb body guard of a boyfriend. But he's across country for a week, so any hopes I have of going out after dark are squashed.

I REALLY REALLY HATE AI..... its so disappointing b/c it was my DREAM school. But its not all cool artsy people like I expected, its all old people trying to change careers or weird gamers. Ok there are a few cool people, but no one lives in the dorms. It is one the best culinary college in the state/one of the best in the south east, but I'm not sure if thats what i want any more. I think i'm going to transfer to State at the end of this year and major in Hospitality Administration.

I have the best job ever.... well not necessarily the best job, just the best boss/coworkers. I started working at Bakers about a month ago and its soooo much fun!! I make pretty decent money too b/c of commission, and who knew i'm actually a good sales person. I've been making about $10-12 an hour. I am not, however, looking forward to Black Friday.... Oh no, working in the highest grossing shoe store in the mall around the holidays wasnt the best idea I've ever had.

Other than school and Black Friday looming in the near future, life is good. I'm soo happy and I absolutely ADORE my boyfriend and the feeling (for once) is actually totaly reciprocated!!

Its incredible when things just feel sooo right and so funny how things happen.....

I'm amazed at how natural it feels to be falling for him so quickly.

Its too perfect to be coincidence

Life is good....