I'm positive now that there is something wrong with me.Perhaps it is better for me to hate all of you.Perhaps I should abandon all feelings,because at least that way no one gets hurt.Perhaps my heart is bigger than intended to be.Maybe my emotions are supercharged;I think it's like that stupid saying,"Too much of a good thing is a bad thing."

I'm cursed.I'm meant to be that crazy cat lady,who sits on her porch,and throws things at kids as they pass her house.My lawn will never get cut,and I'll have frizzy grey hair that sticks up as if I shoved a fork in an outlet.I'll always wear the same,ugly,flowered nightgown and I'll never wear shoes.That will be me.I'll be the neighborhood bitch.I'll die alone,and the only people attending my funeral will be my sister,and the cashier I harrass at the local grocery store.No one will know I had a heart.I'm the grinch,remember?

I'm a born recluse.I have too much to give to too few people,and even those people are overwhelmed.I frighten them away.I smother them.I love too much?

If I keep to myself I can at least exist,and that alone.Is existing better than not?Many would say so.But,is existing life?If I ignore everyone I'll miss out.If I don't ignore them I'll break hearts and dig myself a deeper hole.

Words are fucking useless.I can't explain the things running through my head.You can't walk in my shoes.You can't understand this.

There is something wrong with me,and I don't know how to fix it.

fuck off

No person,no thing,none of the goddamn homework assignments,nor the lessons will mean a thing a year from now;everything that mattered is worthless...The end of high school is the end of a pre-life.Everything after is real-life.Before graduation you are forced to float.After,you either sink or swim.No more of that,"Everyone is equal," crap.Real-life will let you die shattered somewhere in a darkened alley.You either make something or yourself or you're fucked mercilessly from behind.