It hurts not to be understood. Maybe its my pride. Well, thats been shot down in a flaming mess. I am absolutely broken. My faith shaken. I ask the question,"What did I do wrong?". And the only answer I get is, "Everything". I want there to be a list of concrete points, but it seems to her that its all crap. Was I wrong? Was God wrong? What the hell went wrong. Was that it for me? Confusion. And yet, oddly, resolution. Words. So important. Are they really? What is conversation? What is discussion? Is it a learned art or something you got or ya don't got. Feelings. Are they bogus? Do you follow them? Emotions. Am I really such an emotional void? How can I feel so much and not be able to express it? Am I not the verbal one? Fear. There should never be fear. But what of the fear of honesty? The stark brutal truth. Should it ever be spoken. Is it better to just gloss it over and cause the pain of confusion and unknowing? Or unveil the total truth and risk hatred and even more pain? I am Hamlet. In me a swarm of words and emotions. Yet on the outside, an idiot frozen by uncertainty and doubt. Why, God, why? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? |