Another day in my life.. wake up, change the baby, feed the baby, change the baby, play with the baby, change the baby, feed the baby, wash the baby, change the baby, play with the baby, take a walk with the baby, feed the baby, bath the baby, change the baby, read to the baby, tuck in the baby, collapse.. exhausted.

Why is it that such a short list of relatively easily accomplished tasks is so tiring?

As you know, I now have a daughter.  Perhaps that's why the dreams of my past plague me now as they do. 

I have the hardest time sleeping now, because of these dreams.  They've not bothered me in years but lately, they are back with a vengence.  I'm no psychologist so I won't even begin to analyze myself, just wondering I guess.. maybe hoping that writing about it (without subjecting you to the gory details) will take my mind off it enough to let me get a decent night's sleep.

In fact, just when I started to open this entry was when it occured to me that perhaps I have been worrying that my daughter might someday suffer the same type of things.

(Off the subject a bit) It's funny how children change your life...

I've always thought of myself as a fairly "cold" person.  Sure there are people I care about, but I've never really LOVED anyone other than my family.  Still, I am searching for a guy to sweep me off my feet.  Yet I never would have thought I would have the capacity for the kind of love I feel for my daughter.  Sure, it's different than a romantic love but it is so complete.  Each and every time I look at her, even if I am irritated, my heart swells.  I love her with everything that I am.

I used to always feel a hole in my life if I wasn't involved with someone.  Now it doesn't matter.  Oh, that's not to say I don't miss certain parts of having a steady relationship (wild, sweaty, erotic parts) but now I don't dwell on it.  I'm happy, if somewhat stressed.

Enough rambling.

1230 days now since I joined Xanga and still nothing important to say.

Wonderful.

Life?

Ok.. what's the point really?  Nah, I'm not going to get philosophical, nor will I get religious... I just thought "what's the point" when someone posted something very nice about me getting "back to life" in a comment.

Life as I know it has changed so much over the past couple of years.  I've been across the country, I've had a child.  Ok, one of those is a little more "life altering" than the other.  I bet you can guess which

All in all I've got it easy.  I don't HAVE to work, so I've been able to spend time with my little one.  Unfortunately that makes things very tight so returning to work soon will allow for a more comfortable life.  Being a single parent I just feel the need to be able to make sure my little one has most things she wants instead of growing up like I did, always wanting.

Ahh my rambling.  Really, consider yourselves lucky I don't go off on tangents here like I do when I'm THINKING.  If I wrote it the way I think it then you'd never make sense of anything I have to say (not that you'd want to anyway).

Sleep now, hoping to avoid the horrible dreams that plague me.  Goodnight...

Goooooooood Morning...

Ok, so I've not slept yet.. was waiting for the first hint of dawn before retiring.

Just noticed this ...

Hi Vampryss! It's been 1223 (wow, that's a big number) days since you joined Xanga... won't you support us by going Premium?

Wow.. 1223 days.. hmm

Oh.. and I said in the last entry that I recently moved to Seattle from Florida.  Hear about Hurricane Charley?  I lived near where it hit

Bush took some heat for doing <whatever he did - I am sooo not politically versed> to allow disaster relief funds to be more readily available to certain parts of the state BEFORE the hurricane ripped through.  Apparently people think he did it to boost votes in an election year... all I can say to that is ..  DUH!  Everything the president does in an election year has that angle involved somehow.  However I would also say he was trying to avoid a critical mistake his father made during his term...

The last MAJOR hurricane to hit Florida was Hurricane Andrew in 1992 (an election year).  The president at the time was George Bush.  He took criticism for not making those funds available sooner.

Now that all that is explained (however badly) I just want to point out one thing that has me wondering about the nature of coincidence..

The last two MAJOR hurricanes to hit Florida were 12 years apart - 1992 and 2004... both election years, candidates.. Father and Son...

Weird.  Just flamin weird.