| | News for some, Update for mostMost of you already know what is going on with me, however there may be a few (such as those clicking over from Josiah Concept Ministries) that have no idea what just happened with me. Therefore, I will start the story from the beginning just so everyone is up to speed.
Although the actual depression goes back several weeks, the events of the previous week are the most relevant to what happened. Tuesday (8/21), Wednesday (8/22), and Thursday (8/23) were very horrible days at work. This isn't anything unusual, but during the time in question I was going through a particularly rough patch that was accompanied by thoughts of suicide. So it was magnified when I tried to take a day off on Friday (8/24)--I was scheduled off but had agreed to work it in lieu of Sunday because my store was closing early. I told them that I would make the day up next week. I was, however, informed that I must make the day up that week (Friday was my only choice) or else my pay would be docked regardless if I made the day up or not. That was when I stood up, threw a laundry basket across the room and punched a hole through the glass in my entertainment center--which, needless to say, scared Jody very much.
I went to work without further incident that day.
Saturday (8/25) I was uncommunicative and had no desire to get out of bed. Finally, I tearfully confessed to Jody that I needed help, and I had no idea what to do from there. I was in absolute terror of making any decisions. So Jody decided for me: ER, and quickly. The ER doctor seemed to think that I was making all of my problems up, so he prescribed an antidepressant and sent me off. I then went to Rescue Crisis, who did essentially the same thing.
Monday my family doctor prescribed me different drugs but told me that I was fine and didn't need any further treatment. I sought a second opinion from my mom's doctor, who thought that I should voluntarily check myself into a hospital for a psychiatric evaluation. That is what I did, and the folks there heard my story and agreed that I needed more than just antidepressants.
So, for the last week I've been there. Between group therapy and occupational therapy, I have learned some better coping techniques and I have concluded that my job is only part of the problem. The real problems that I must face are anger management issues (so that no more innocent entertainment units die) and coping techniques. Jobs will always have stress--I have to learn to cope or I'll never survive any job, even one I love.
Thank you, everyone who was already in the know and prayed with me. God has revealed much to me, including one shortcoming that stems from being an amateur theologian that I never expected offended Him. Perhaps that is why He wanted me there right through the hospital's worship service! He is so mysterious sometimes; but His ways are not to be understood by us all the time.
For those who would like to join in praying for me, pray for my job search. I have one free week this week to try to find a job and that will mean that I won't have to even go back to Burger King. I'm not expecting that, but it would be a great bonus!
I'm feeling 100% better than I was earlier in the week. St. Charles Hospital, Haynes Unit, represents the best in psychiatric care this city has to offer. I can honestly say that if anybody in Toledo is reading this and feels like they need some help, go there. The doctors and the nurses (especially the nurses) are great and you will receive the best care possible!
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| | Posted 9/2/2007 11:30 PM - 5 comments
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