Grrrr!!!! I need my own place. It would be so nice to walk to the bathroom naked without worry. It would be so nice to BE DONE WITH FUCKING COLLEGE so I can get a GOOD JOB and stop waisting my time. I want to pay my own bills... I want my own financial struggle. I want to marry my fucking fiancee already. Fuck you spell check, I don't know the alt code for the "E" you want in that word. I want to fuck him without interruption because apparently the people I live with just assume that he and I never fuck. Sure my OWN MOM buys the damn birth control pills for me, but thats BESIDE the point. I want to cuddle at 3am in front of the TV in MY OWN living room. I want to be free...

Sorry bunny,

probably the first few times I tried to date Flickie. We met back in high school, and I had already been in a terrable relationship... because of that and my own psychosis this relationship went terribly. I broke up with him many times because I loved him, lied to him, cheated on him, etc. Even thoguht I know he suffered more than I did, I did cause a lot of damage to myself... MY destruction did not end until I was forced to realize that he won't hurt me, and upon me trying to avoid it, I have hurt him... a lot. That kills me. I think my suicidal tendancies are a plea from my conscious trying to redeem myself from the tortous nightmare that is his high school years. Oh sure, he did date other girls, and I was happy when I thought he was happy. But it was all a facade. He wasn't happy.. he wanted to be with me. But my pshychosis wouldn't let it happen. Nobody knew what my damn problem was, but some of us who knew me knew that I was a seriously disturbed young girl. The sickening part is that he still loves me... we're together now... all has been forgiven, but why?
 

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And, give me one UNBIASED reason that it shouldn't be. NO god.

   

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